Always

exactly

I told my genie I wish not to die a virgin

He granted me immortality.

Rememer kids, the quickest way to anyone’s heart is through the 4th and 5th rib!!!

OH SHI-

THEY REMOVED THE AUTO-MUTE AND AUTO-TURN-CAMERA-OFF FEATURES ON ZOOM.

This is just my friend group

found family but every member is from a different kind of found family dynamic

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUU-

damn, so jeff bezos was jailed for mistreating workers and the amazon workers got all his money on the same day that fall out boy released a song with florence and the machine? damn 2021 is much better than 2020

I genuinely thought that it said reptiles instead of replies the first time I read it and I just accepted it as "tumblr being tumblr" and kept scrolling. I had to stumble across the original post before I realized something was wrong.

I think I need to use the sleep, that's enough internet for today

Why are your replies turned off?

They aren’t, you need to be following for a specific amount of time to get the replies to unlock

Wh-what are you doing step-vogue?

Teen Vogue what r u doing

Op change your fucking url

Professor X asks a girl, “what is your mutant power?”

Girl replies: “I can guess how many pulls to turn a ceiling fan off on the first try!”

She points up and says: “3 pulls”

Professor X stands up and pulls 3 times. After the third pull the fan turns off.

Professor X: “Yeah thats cool and all, but not really a super power…”

Girl: “Yeah I was jut kidding, I can heal paraplegics”

Professor X, still standing: “Oh my god”

I love how it says “If”

This implies that he’s immortal.

If rick astley dies he will have failed to never make us cry

Gaud, I need pictures, and I need them now

men's clothes should be slutty again