"mid" Wife?.....ha, Ha......no Such Thing.

Cain my beloved, Sam knowing serial killer stats is also pretty cool and fits his character

john winchester said you cannot kill me in a way that matters

hey yall! this was my jack piece for the hunting & haunting spn zine. ive said it before and ill say it again: it was an absolute honor and privilege to work with these lovely and talented people. hope yall enjoy!

oh my god wait I need to bring back my violent slapsticknatural posting. like you don’t get it we literally have zero power scaling for how far cas and jack’s healing factors go. we’ve only ever seen them got shot and stabbed , so who’s to say what else they could heal from? like picture this. you’re a monster of the week doing your monstrous business with some monster pals or something, completely unaware of angels or demons or anything else like that, and then in barges this stupid annoying hunter family to ruin the fun.

one of these guys looks like a cross between a gay porn parody of Columbo and a tax accountant. the other is, for one, Staunchly young to be a hunter, and he also looks like he would’ve been plastered on some teenage girl’s wall as a poster with little pink glittery gel pen hearts and initial pluses drawn all around him. maybe even have a major role in a Disney sitcom. gay porn Columbo could put up a pretty good fight but you can take heartthrob out like it’s nothin.’ so you go and work some monster magic beating his ass and eventually you snap his neck like a twig.

your monster buddies run a clawed fist clean through the chest of gay porn Columbo and for a minute he goes satisfactorily limp on their arm. for a minute small town Zac Efron lies on the floor with his head at a horrible angle, looking like a doll that got dropped the wrong way, and for another minute more you hear the jolly green giant and his tiny little Ken doll screaming and shrieking in total agony and because you’re a narrative monster of the week it’s the most beautiful sound in the world. But then something happens. gay porn columbo twitches and jumps back to life with an arm still lodged all the way through his chest, and with a strength even more inhuman than yours he rips it out of himself, groaning with pain but still acting as if he were merely removing an inconveniencing splinter.

your monster buddy shrieks at the touch, then howls in pain as gay porn Columbo just fucking breaks his arm. tiny little Ken doll and jolly green giant are elated but also not very shocked that their pal survived that. hm. you silently make note of that and then turn to face your own kill, only to find the most sickening nauseating sound ever coming from his corpse, like a thick wet grinding, and his head slowly rotating back around like a doll again. to your horror, you realize that his very spine is completely rearranging itself, setting itself back in place and his head is very correcting the angle you sharply pulled it to.

you don’t know what to think anymore. you don’t know what to do. these are hunters, human hunters, hunters are always humans, that’s how it fucking works. it’s never been anything else, it’s not some unspoken rule, it just is the reality of hunters and monsters. the other two guys, jolly green and Ken Doll, are clearly human, and they’re hunters, but then why are they parading around with whatever the fuck these freaks are? And why are these freaks hunters, too? Are they traitors? What the fuck is this? but before you can even move your thoughts into words, you’re gutted and shot and broken along with your monster buddies. as you lay dying, bleeding out, still trying to make sense of everything that just happened, oscillating between darkness and fleeting vision, you hear the gruff voice of gay porn Columbo complaining about his chest pain as if he were experiencing heartburn from a bad pizza. how it takes so much out of him to waste his “grace” on mending clothes along with wounds. then you hear the voice of the annoying boy band clone whine about a headache, asking if the other two guys have any aspirin strong enough for a broken neck.

then you die, and you still don’t know what the fuck just happened.

i think a reason why people find sam boring is because he’s not written with a lot of traits that make him seem more ‘quirky’ or personable, unlike dean. for example, dean likes cowboys and westerns, he’s into outdated pop culture, dean likes to play dress up, dean loves scooby-doo, dean likes to cook, deans really protective of his car, dean likes wearing women’s underwear. dean is given a lot more personal details and information that doesn’t contribute to the show or narrative, where as sam’s unrelated traits are reading, exercising, decently healthy, and researching.

I made a uquiz :>

CLAIRE NOVAK!

You know what I think. I think that Mary should have been possessed and when she burned on the ceiling it was her blood that dripped into sam's mouth. Send xeet.

I do this regularly

chilling on the picnic table like corpse <3