Feeling Really Sad Rn Y’all Should Show Me Your Favorite Spn Pictures Or Something 🥺

Dean as a kid trying to find the same laundry detergent his mom used to use and never finding it. He was too young to help with the laundry before she died, and he can't ask John, because he's not supposed to talk about their life from before. One day in his thirties he grabs a random box at the store because their usual brand is out of stock, and the sense memory he gets when the clothes come out of the drier makes him sit on the floor and weep.

claire and jack are total opposites of each other. claire tries to play broody tough girl and acts mean as a defense for how genuinely sensitive and damaged she is, because she thinks that makes her weak and she actively doesn’t want to be weak or be seen as weak because she doesn’t want to get hurt again.

jack has their own broody mean streak, but is so outwardly saccharine and polite and overly forgiving it’s like they practice it in the mirror with an etiquette 101 book. he can be quick to anger like claire, but he’s way quicker to calm himself down. claire doesn’t understand why an all-powerful demigod would choose to be weak, to just not use their power and retaliate against people that treat them shittily. she wishes she could be as strong and invulnerable as he is, and she thinks he’s wasting it on nothing.

jack, on the other hand, is a little jealous of claire’s boisterousness. he wishes he could be more openly angry and defiant the way she is, without it automatically being taken as a sign of Lucifer’s genetic influence or imbuing him with nuclear charged teenage hormones that turn him into an active threat. jack doesn’t understand why Claire can’t just relax; take advantage of the fact that her emotional state isn’t cosmically charged and she can freely let go of herself. he longs for the passivity of being a gentle human, and he doesn’t get at all why claire wouldn’t want to be gentle every moment of her life while she’s able to.

claire thinks his strength is an advantage, and doesn’t understand why he doesn’t want it or doesn’t use it. Jack knows it’s a burden and doesn’t understand why claire would ever want it.

Sam being adorably weird.

It’s my 18th birthday! I’m an adult now! (Using a tangled gif because it’s my favorite movie and Rapunzel is also 18 for her birthday)

I made another uquiz :))

I’d say this quiz is pretty accurate

which version of castiel are you? it's all very scientific and exact according to me (a castiel expert)

Marie: it's rufus

Jordan: 100%

Marie: it's cate

Jordan: 100%

I made a uquiz :>

Something interesting about the rare occasions that Sam and Dean actually talk about their childhood or their parents that I've noticed is how it reveals really how little Sam knows about his own family. Like in s1 when they have to return to their childhood home after Sam has a vision he asks Dean how much he remembers of the night their mother died. Dean tells him he carried him out the house and Sam is shocked at this development; clearly this was a day that they haven't talked about at all. Despite that night being the foundation of what drove John and Dean to even start their relentless hunt in the first place, it was always this unsaid thing that Sam never understood to the same level as they did.

Later in the episode Dark Side of the Moon in s5 Sam is put in the position of a passive observer to Dean's memory of a moment with their mother. Even in this good memory Mary has an argument with John over the phone and Sam is suddenly struck with the realisation that their life pre-Mary's death wasn't this ideal picket-fence family dynamic he thought it was. John and Mary's relationship was strained and even before the age of four Dean was 'cleaning up' their father's 'messes' (as Sam calls it). To me its such an interesting concept because no wonder Sam felt like the odd one out in the family (and this is not considering the whole demon blood freak thing). He was constantly in the position of hovering on the cusp of understanding this unsaid past, which is the key to understanding Dean and John themselves. No wonder he wasn't inclined to be a hunter; to him Mary was was an absence of a mother, and yet to John and Dean it was at the very core driving them to relentlessly peruse this lifestyle.

And its frustrating because neither John or Dean seem to ever want to acknowledge of even try to understand this position Sam's in. Dean continues to berate him for 'abandoning his family', when really Sam was being suffocated under a lifestyle that had been forced upon him, forever unable to fully understand the all consuming grief that came from Mary's death like John and Dean did. To me this idea seems to culminate in Dark Side of the Moon, which is also an episode where Dean frustrated me the most. Because of course I understand why Sam's memories of running away from home and going to Stanford being considered as good memories would hurt Dean - family is everything to him. But it really shows how Dean just refuses to even try to understand Sam's perspective in this. These aren't good memories to Sam because he abandoned his family, they're good memories because they are the pockets of moments in his life where he has ever felt any agency over himself. Sam tries to explain himself to Dean but no it's about as good as justifying your actions to a wall and this is something that Dean has held over his head since the pilot. And then he's apparently so angry that he throws away the amulet Sam gave him?? My god, like I wasn't already screaming at my screen.

These complexities to their relationship really wouldn't bother me so much if every time these interpersonal issues were brought up they weren't resolved with Sam having to acknowledge that he was the one in the wrong. Like I get Flagstaff obviously dregs up some real bad memories for Dean of their father but come on, Stanford?? Surely after this many episodes we can understand that Sam was just perusing something he wanted to do for once. What's worse is that all Sam really wanted out of it from his family was for Dean and their father to be proud of him. He compares their situation to 'normal families' saying that most families would be overjoyed that their son got a full ride to Stanford. And that's really at the crux of all he ever wanted from them... Anyway sorry this is deeply unstructured I just have some Thoughts occasionally whilst watching Supernatural for the first time in 2023. Currently on the first chunk of s7 and jesus the whole shit with Amy is the other Dean thing that has made me yell at him in frustration but I won't open that can of worms. I swear I do love Dean and his messed up complexities... I just like Sam more and find him to be a more sympathetic character (which I am beginning to think is an unpopular perspective but what do I know; I've been watching this show for like a month).

they should’ve had dean realise that there was something wrong with sam when he was soulless by having them come across a clown and sam doesn’t react and dean’s like ???? who are you and what have you done with my brother