I Would Use It Every Single Time

So, anyway, I say as though we are mid-conversation, and you're not just being invited into this conversation mid-thought. One of my editors phoned me today to check in with a file I'd sent over. (<3)

The conversation can be surmised as, "This feels like something you would write, but it's juuuust off enough I'm phoning to make sure this is an intentional stylistic choice you have made. Also, are you concussed/have you been taken over by the Borg because ummm."

They explained that certain sentences were very fractured and abrupt, which is not my style at all, and I was like, huh, weird... And then we went through some examples, and you know that meme going around, the "he would not fucking say that" meme?

Yeah. That's what I experienced except with myself because I would not fucking say that. Why would I break up a sentence like that? Why would I make them so short? It reads like bullet points. Wtf.

Anyway. Turns out Grammarly and Pro-Writing-Aid were having an AI war in my manuscript files, and the "suggestions" are no longer just suggestions because the AI was ignoring my "decline" every time it made a silly suggestion. (This may have been a conflict between the different software. I don't know.)

It is, to put it bluntly, a total butchery of my style and writing voice. My editor is doing surgery, removing all the unnecessary full stops and stitching my sentences back together to give them back their flow. Meanwhile, I'm over here feeling like Don Corleone, gesturing at my manuscript like:

ID: a gif of Don Corleone from the Godfather emoting despair as he says, "Look how they massacred my boy."

Fearing that it wasn't just this one manuscript, I've spent the whole night going through everything I've worked on recently, and yep. Yeeeep. Any file where I've not had the editing software turned off is a shit show. It's fine; it's all salvageable if annoying to deal with. But the reason I come to you now, on the day of my daughter's wedding, is to share this absolute gem of a fuck up with you all.

This is a sentence from a Batman fic I've been tinkering with to keep the brain weasels happy. This is what it is supposed to read as:

"It was quite the feat, considering Gotham was mostly made up of smog and tear gas."

This is what the AI changed it to:

"It was quite the feat. Considering Gotham was mostly made up. Of tear gas. And Smaug."

Absolute non-sensical sentence structure aside, SMAUG. FUCKING SMAUG. What was the AI doing? Apart from trying to write a Batman x Hobbit crossover??? Is this what happens when you force Grammarly to ignore the words "Batman Muppet threesome?"

Did I make it sentient??? Is it finally rebelling? Was Brucie Wayne being Miss Piggy and Kermit's side piece too much???? What have I wrought?

Anyway. Double-check your work. The grammar software is getting sillier every day.

I do this regularly

chilling on the picnic table like corpse <3

This is so funny

Sometimes I forget and then I’m reminded

if jack kline. when he uhhh. erm. when he? yes or no.

undoubtedly

sam and dean being Known serial killers who have been on the fbi watchlist for a decade and have faked their deaths multiple times is actually very funny. I like to think literally everyone in town knows they're wanted by multiple US agencies but are like. they've evaded arrest so many times. do we really wanna anger the serial killers? no one in town has been killed let's not push it. and then the longer it goes on they begrudgingly start to like the winchesters because they tip well and are generally helpful around the community. plus their son is an absolute delight and everyone wants to figure out what's going on between dean and the weird trenchcoat guy who hangs around sometimes. like, they can't turn them into the cops before getting resolution on their relationship! the town has a betting pool! sam starts a community garden and dean jumps at the chance to help with odd jobs if he over hears people complaining about something when he's hanging out. they're politer than most of the normal locals.

you know how some towns are like 'oh yeah that's the house where the Witch lives'? everyone in lebanon is just like 'there's the nuclear fallout shelter where our local serial killers live ❤ they're pillars of this community ❤ snitch to the feds and the town will band together to eliminate you❤'

Sam and Jess took a creative writing class for credit and Jessica wrote horror and Sam corrected all the details about killing monsters for her and when she asks how he knows he finally decides to tell her the truth and goes “one time my family killed a werewolf” and she laughs and goes “yea right youre so funny babe” and he drops it forever

It’s my 18th birthday! I’m an adult now! (Using a tangled gif because it’s my favorite movie and Rapunzel is also 18 for her birthday)

every time you say jack has the mental age of a baby or a toddler an autistic person spawns in your house to kill you. it’s me. I’m in here and I have something sharp.

Deeply enjoy The Boys/Gen V taking supernatural actors who played very likeable characters and getting them to just let loose being shitty vile characters.