The First Chapter Of The Fic I Have Been Thinkin Ab Since Watching & Dreaming Aired Is Nearly Finished

the nocedas have a peanut butter jar that is just hunter's because he constantly eats out of it with a spoon. it's his. he's marking his territory with germs. he's got an eating disorder and he's doing his best to just eat something sometimes so they're happy with it.

luz pranks him by bedazzling his name on the side of one of the jars in bright pink and he may, accidentally, be very careful when washing it out when he's finished with it, keeping it with his things afterwards. it's fine, it's just not necessary to trash something she worked hard on, is all. he totally doesn't like it, or anything

good afternoon we are celebrating the ttt anniversary by writing the most heart wrenching flapjack hurt/comfort fluff fic that i can't get out of my head. thank you for your time

i do think that the toh crew hinted at so many different and interesting themes n ideas that deserve to be explored ... yes i want luz knighting hunter. yes i want her getting separated from stringbean and being forced to pick up the curved knife in order to defend herself. yes i want the undying parallels of this is who you have always been, luz the human, and it is who you always will be. so why not accept it? why fight the story when this is what has always been waiting for you? the narrative already holds your name, heroine, there is no other tale left to tell.

it would just be so good and cathartic and truly the nightmare scenario truly steeped to time, the flavor, the retribution, the reshaping of the narrative so that it is finally yours, not something that has been passed down (given without your explicit and sincere acceptance/knowledge, another theme i adore) but something you have instead chosen.

like, at last – this is your story. your name. this, everything, has always been waiting for you to call it your own. it has always been yours.

love writing belos even though there is such a difficulty to it? the haughtiness of it. the melodrama. the ever-constant feeling of everything else being inferior to him. the carefulness of it at the same time, like a craft, a honed weapon.

there is such a calm terror to his tone? he doesn't stress his words often, but the intensity is there throughout. he speaks like a preacher, always on the side that knows more, knows better. each word is specially chosen for the most precise of messages, vague and specific and layered alike. never a mistake, always a parable.

even his outbursts only come through expressing more intense emotion, and there comes the stress of things, syllables sharper and tone more volatile, hard in it's setness; like a story that cannot be moved from it's predestined ending. he's so removed from his emotions, from his humanity, that you can literally pick it apart in his speech and speaking patterns.

good afternoon, still thinking softly of the trailer for wad and the idea of the hex squad protecting hunter (from luz for extra pizazz, thank u, especially since she was the one to begin all of them coming together, to be the thing that unravels them as well is just so chefs kiss)?

and just how lovely of an idea that is. to finally be something that is deemed worthy of protection. of friends. how the story says you have been strong enough. the story says you can be safe, now. in a dream you spoke a secret, in the dream you wanted to be safe and now you are here, among friends, and how they would lay down their lives for you (instead of just the inverse, instead of how the story has been for ages and ages, beyond memory, beyond you)

u ever go in to do final reads to look for spelling errors and weird formatting things and accidentally, idk, end up adding five hundred more words

the alt. thanks to them opening boards are going to emotionally scar me for life. look at his face. luz is terrified but desperate with a hope she feels is unfounded, needing that optimism to imagine a way out of this that doesn't hurt; that doesn't end in more tragedy?

she thinks they're on the same level of bad but sad. that she did as much as hunter in the name of helping belos, without knowing the whole truth of who belos was, who he is. she's traumatized by it.

she needs to not be alone in it.

the i'll keep your secret if you keep mine is a knife to the heart. we are in this together, she is saying. whether we like it or not, at least we have each other. at least i'm not alone.

but what do you say to that? how do you make a witch's oath without magic? you take it to heart. you hold it closer to anything. there aren't words for a devotion like that, the kind of devotion hunter has led with his entire life, and now, here, it's for luz. it's for everyone, for protecting them, to be able for them to get home again.

it's reminiscent of that good old golden guard loyalty, but remade in the light of this new world, new life. it's a cause to live by, a goal, a dream; and as the story goes, we can see - there isn't much he isn't willing to sacrifice for it, especially if the cost is only himself.

(he has nothing to return for, after all. he has a graveyard, filled to the brim with bones and masks and a future he only narrowly escaped.)

sacrifice - that is something he's been waiting for his whole life. so of course he's willing to risk everything for them. what better ending is there, where at the very least, his friends can go home to where they are loved? where no one has to be afraid, anymore?

so like, remember how in agony of a witch lilith kidnaps luz to get eda to come to the castle for her witch's duel? just before twilight, at the end of the beginning of things, stuck in a room, lost to the story and attempting every escape plan she can think of - luz has an unexpected visitor. he says he’s the golden guard, whoever that's supposed to be.

i published a fic! it's a what-if if hunter and luz had met while she was being held at the castle before the witches duel in agony of a witch. something soft and silly with a lot of fun foreshadowing. enjoy!

these for the future boards. going insane.

even in the earlier ones in the gym he's so stilted with his anger? the heavy weight of what they've just all been through, his guilt? they don't even have gus' lil finger guns and hunter's embarrassed blush yet he is just angry. through and through. and it's so jarring, his quiet, compared to the easy sassy talkative vibe of the golden guard. this isn't even that this is just. an emptiness, and trying to make his way through it without flap. the grief trying to eat him whole.

this chapter is giving me so much trouble but man .... man this idea is haunting me each time i scroll by it.

if we're putting the weight on luz's insecurities in the w&d nightmare scenario, that this is what she feels she is: trying to always be more than what she can be, always wishing to be understood but always falling short? she has made this world into a story of her own making, her own narrative, playing god, just like belos.

to have it pushed back at her, to hear hunter say no, no you can't save me, i'm not a character, i don't have a place in your silly stories - i don't deserve it, like something too honest to hold. to heavy a truth to handle, hurt and horror and everything terrible.

because here, it means - failure. who is the hero if they don't save everyone? if they leave someone behind?