You Know You're A POS When You Have Zero Doubt In Your Mind That Invading Another Country Is Okay, And

How does one get a membership to this gym?

Knight at the Gym. The dude in the jousting armor cracks me up every time. LOLOL

I realized today my list of people I want to meet is almost empty. A lot of them are dead now, and that's pretty depressing. All I can hope is to meet Cary Elwes someday.

It's all just a dream.

It really sucks missing some people.

This is probably an asshole thing to ask; however, it's required since everyone seems surprised by recent events: When you build your city below, at, or near sea level, how do you not suspect something could go wrong? From my days in catholic school, I sort of remember a parable about a guy who built his house by a river. It didn't end well for him. Fairly certain the story behind that metaphor was pretty well-established knowledge back then. What's interesting is no one has started blaming the city planners for failing to do enough to mitigate the effects of this eventuality. Though not nearly on the scale of Fukishima, I recall the plant designers being blamed immediately for discounting the possibility of a massive earthquake causing a massive tsunami, because, you know, that happens all the time in Japan... Yeah... Negligence is the real tragedy.

To clarify: The reason I decided to reference something I'm pretty sure was in the bible somewhere is because that particular region has a high concentration of bible thumpers. The fact they'll take leviticus literally, yet are too stupid to interpret the parable I referenced highlights my above final point.

How I want to deal with most people.

UHF . ‘89 . IMDb

People on my facebook keep posting things about goats. Not sure what started that whole thing, but it did remind me just how awesome and badass goats are. They do whatever the fuck they feel like doing. Mostly, that's just finding the tallest object around and fucking standing on it. Do they need a reason? No. They give no fucks. They're goats. They watch you from their high places and use their voodoo laser eyes to peer into your soul so they can decide whether or not they want to eat it because they'll eat anything. Why? No one knows. They're goats. They don't give a fuck about property because they believe in their ability to chew on anything, and tasty souls are their number one. Who knows how Satan became associated with a goat, but I bet it had something to do with a farmer pissed off at how his goat would stand on top of his shit all day, then eat it after getting bored. Satan's probably afraid of goats because they'd just stand on his head, then chew on it because they're no-fucks-giving goats. Satan associated goats with himself, then spread the idea around the mortal population to prove the point goats are not to be fucked with. If fucking Galactus showed up to Earth, we wouldn't need Avengers or Guardians of the Galaxy, we'd need goddamn goats. He can't eat a planet if the goats eat him, first, and you bet your ass they would. They won't just stand on anything or eat anything, either. They've also developed an ability to head butt shit with enough force to cause small amounts of nuclear fusion. If they can't stand on something because it keeps moving, they'll deliver a head butt to the brief annoyance that reaches its resonant frequency and shatters it into oblivion. Then, the goat will either stand on the remains or devour them. Or both. A goat doesn't care. So, next time you happen across a farm or mountainside and feel you're being watched, remember that somewhere is a goat, not even a hungry goat, that's determining if your soul is tasty enough to be worth coming down from wherever it's standing. A goat won't care. It's a goat. If you don't have a soul, it's a perfect pet.

Maybe it's because I was sick today, but my confusion between a couple coworkers came out as racist, apparently. I'm at my desk, there's a little cabinet behind me and slightly off to the right. I turn to my left and see a pair of shoes attached to some legs out of the corner of my eye, but that's it. Now, in my mind the only person who could be sitting there was the same coworker who always sits there. I turn back to my desk, then turn around fully a minute later: It's not the coworker I thought. I must have looked really confused because they looked at me weird. I said I mixed up the coworker behind me with the other one (who was sitting a bit further away). It was like when you don't put your keys in the same spot just one time, and you completely forget where you put them. I'm also a bit slow... Now, they may have been kidding with me when I told them why I got really confused, but I got the feeling they seriously thought I was being racist. I hate it when people even joke about that kind of thing with me. It's not really funny. They're both awesome, and I like them; but, I will feel pretty bad if getting mixed up made that impression....

I would rather have been a terrible storm, a great wave to crush a coastline, a rampaging tornado, or a furious volcano.

Work is hindering my ability to expand my Pokemon portfolio.