To Boop One Must Have Experimental Features Turned On, Then One Must Opt In. May Thy Journey In Booping

Content warning - kind of a vent. Just mind stuff. Eh I can’t think of a warning, other than what I’ve already written. Brain fog. Well that and sickness.

Working on a project and hating what it’s current progress and look every second I’m working on it but when I walk away and stop for a while I find I actually kinda like it. But then I go back to working on it and every fiber of my being is screaming at me that I’m somehow making it so so much worse and every touch is a mistake, but then I pause look back and go nice that actually looks good. But then it’s still not done so I gotta work on it more.. and I just get a bit tired with my brain. Like pls, let me work on peace.

Games I enjoy. I’ll try to keep this mostly spoiler free. :3

Tokyo mirage sessions. Fire emblem. Encore.

- I love this game. The art, the colors, the songs. All of it just works well for me. The combat grinding isn’t that bad and it’s fairly easy to level up characters. Although I played on easy mode cause I kept dying on normal so our playing experience will definitely vary. I even unlocked friendly mode from dying so often TvT. I play for story more than combat. A lot of the enemy characters are sleazeballs though so that can be off-putting. I enjoy the story and friendships throughout the game. The side stories are easy to follow and flow nicely for me. I enjoy the character developments and the interpersonal connections. The maps were a bit confusing for me so some of it was just me running around hoping I pulled the right levers. Overall, this game was a lovely experience for me.

Fire emblem three houses

- I love this game. Though when I played I went in blind. This will include spoilers for game content, not specific storyline stuff. This game has romance options. Gender locked romance options. I was unaware of this going in so I was unable to swoon the person I fell for. Essentially, the gender of the main character chosen will affect who you can romance. I forgot that happens in games. Anyway, I love the world building and characters in this game. As the name suggests there are three main houses in this game. I’m golden deer for life. I’ve enjoyed what I’ve played through so far. The friendships are awesome. However the grinding for supports takes forever and some supports unlock secret quests that can have major impacts on the story.

- three hopes. Shez is awesome. Not as cool as byleth but just a fun character in general. They have a wonderful and funny personality. Though their connection to the houses, especially the house leaders, is a lot different than in three houses. If you’re looking to get close to the house leader or have them have greater character development then I say play three houses. While this game doesn’t have romance (s supports), some characters do essentially propose to the main character in this game. While I haven’t finished the main storyline I am enjoying this game.

- engage. You know, for a game called engage you’d think it would have a romance option. While heavily censored for the western audience when it comes to s supports, you can still get the gist of what originally would be said by watching the character sprites. The colors are all so vibrant and the music is wonderful. Alear is a chill main character just trying to deal with everything. The characters all have varying personalities and their interactions with the main character are all fun. However it’s really hard to get money in this game so be careful on how you spend.

Xenoblade chronicles

- the first game has a nice sense of community and friends. I like how the characters interact and the way different cultures are shown. Though I haven’t finished the game just yet. The character customization is nice though a lot of the women outfits are revealing. Now revealing outfits aren’t particularly a big deal but for there to be so few pants without a cut in the back is a bit ridiculous. Otherwise, I enjoy the game. I like the chart of all the characters interactions in the communities. Do be careful with rare materials and make sure to check which ones you can trade for beforehand. It can be a bit of a pain to realize you can’t complete a quest without a certain rare material.

- I started the third game of the series recently. It doesn’t have the same vibes so far. The characters are nice but it’s lacking the sense of community and varying cultures the first one had. The cutscenes are super long and there’s less interaction with the world so far. The first game felt more immersive for me. The cutscenes give kingdom heart cutscenes a run for their money when it comes to their length. Not necessarily bad but it makes it less immersive for me so far. I’m still going to continue it and I’ll update my view of it the further I get in game. The characters personalities are fun so far so I hope I can get pulled into the story a bit more.

Legend of Zelda breath of the wild

- I like this game. The environment, animals, and world building are all nice. Link’s characterization is just so fun. His love for food and hatred of social interaction. The side quests and world building in this game are enjoyable and immersive. I find this game to be more about the journey than the ending of the main storyline in the game. So just take your time and enjoy all the beautiful graphics.

- tears of the kingdom. I haven’t finished this game yet. So far it’s been very fun. The weapon breaking doesn’t matter as much since you can combine materials. While some of the world building from the first game is lost in this one. Certain npc interactions don’t travel over and some characters don’t remember you. Which I find a bit ridiculous. I worked so hard on my house just to have someone else claim it as theirs? How does this town not even remember me? That aside, I do so love this game. I find having an endless supply of plant bombs ever so useful. And make sure to always test out the abilities you have in this game. They are far more versatile than expected! The developers really integrated them well. Spoiler warning! This next part will spoil parts of the game so please skip the rest of this ramble if you don’t want to be spoiled. I like to think that the astral projections of our friends can see what is going on with link. Like Prince Sidon going about his day wondering what link is doing and seeing him jump in front of a hydra (dragon) with just a handful of bombs and no armor. Or a lynel. It is funny how so few characters recognize link and yet everyone recognizes Zelda. Like sure she’s been missing for a hundred years but eh, who’s this guy with the same name as her knight? No one of importance just a random reporter.

Digimon story cybersleuth, complete edition.

- I highly enjoyed this game. I like the character dynamics and storyline. While the grinding for leveling up digimon is not my thing I enjoyed seeing the different types of digimon. The main character is fun and nice. Random civilian turned detective due to uh certain circumstances. I think the game has an online feature where you can battle other players but it’s never worked for me so I’m uncertain. Now I’ve only done the cybersleuth storyline so far. I’ve yet to finish the hacker storyline so I can’t say anything on that part. I started it a bit ago and the environment/community seems fun. Though I’m sure the storyline has a going to pull at my heartstrings.

Well that’s enough for now. I’ll talk more about games later. Have an amazing day!

I find I don’t understand everything. By this I mean I can take one understanding of a piece, look at the piece again and just be like damn how on earth was I so wrong before? It’s why I like giving shows a second chance. Cause I might of completely misunderstood what’s happening or maybe I never knew in the first place. It’s just the meaning I took at that time and now I’ll learn something else from it. Like something I might misremember or have a bad impression of I’ll go back and recheck and be like, yeah no I was so wrong. This is great! And vice versa, I’ll be like man this is so good, rewatch and notice things that are a bit iffy. And just go hmmmmm. Just enjoy what you enjoy and don’t be afraid to try things again or let things go. Also, a lot of things fly over my head in shows cause I’m not aware or conscious of everything and I don’t know all the experiences or relevant ties things may have so it’s always good to double check or get a second pair of eye. Anyway, that’s all my rambles for the moment. Have a marvelous day/night!

Haven’t been able to fall asleep and the amount of work I need to get done feels too much right now. Feels like I’m probably gonna fail, which makes me feel like shit. But even if I do fail

I could always retake the course. I just don’t want to disappoint people. So what happened was I was taking three courses this semester and prioritized one over the other two causing me to fall behind in both. Now it’s finals week and ima till so fucking behind. So I don’t know if I’ll pass them. And I don’t know what I’ll do if I don’t. I’ve almost caught up in one of them but still. Feels like I should just cut my losses and focus on which one I’m more likely to pass. But I want to try. And by trying to do both I might just shoot myself in the foot doing this.

But what if I succeed? What if I fail? If I succeed I’d most likely get a c, if I’m lucky a b. If I fail I could retake the course. Don’t know if I’d still qualify for financial assistance though if I fail these two. I mean I’m not on a scholarship so it’s not that big of a deal I suppose but still. You know I never planned to go to college. Like when I was in school it was expected of me. But school really fucked me up. Had to get As all the time that I’d breakdown over get a b or just a fucking 90%. It wouldn’t matter which assignment, or how many points it was. I would stress over everything. Then I failed a few classes (there were extenuating circumstances that added to this), but it was so freeing. I redid the courses over summer and just felt so alive. The world didn’t implode and I was still alive. It had a lot less impact than I expected. I mean I was still pressured to get good grades but it didn’t hurt as much. Now though getting an A doesn’t feel like an achievement or something that I accomplished, it still just feels like an expectation. So it still hurts when I fail to meet it. And so I decided after graduating that there was no way in hell id go to college. But then I took a single course and honestly enjoyed it. It does help that I qualified for some financial things that cover me for a few years (which really was the deciding factor, it only lasts a set amount of years for me so if I don’t take courses now the money assistance would expire so gotta use it while I can). But old mindsets keep creeping back in. Lack of faith in myself, what could very well be executive dysfunction, mental health issues, just piled up again this semester. Keep thinking I overcame it that I’m doing better and it all comes crashing back. It’s hard. And I don’t know how to tell people that. I just accept my actions as they are and continue on. And I fucked up a lot this semester. But I also did try. There’s also the fact that I get sick when I stress out now. Started happening junior year of high school. On the very last day of school I puked due to stress. Ended up not going cause I couldn’t tell if I was sick or not. Since then whenever I stress out or overthink I puke. I’ve gotten better at managing it but I also have started to get nauseous when anxious so I need to do something. I’ve been meaning to meditate consistently but it’s the consistent part I’m having trouble with. Though I do think it would help. So I guess I’m just worried. And I still have all the work I need to do. I know I’m gonna try but if I fail anyway it’s gonna hurt so much. But I’ll be prepared for next time. No matter the outcome I’ll be prepared for next time. Okay, yeah. I’ll be okay. Sorry just needed to vent. Needed a moment to breathe.

Reading a story that has a mongoose and all my brain can picture is an actual goose. looked up a pic and they're so cute. Also the story now makes more sense.

Well, I was rewatching Pending Train so may as well use pending as my name. But that was taken so added hope to it cause that’s all I could think of and wanted that to be the underlaying feel of how I feel when I go on here so, yeah. :3

USERNAME LORE GIVE IT TO ME NOW YOU ALL

Okay this is just a neat lil vent post. So the rest is just me rambling about random things.

Okay I’ve warned you and you’re still reading for some reason so uh hi. My brain’s just been a little too loud for me recently. Ah I guess I can talk about my blog lore. The reason I created this was when I was going through an existential crisis and just needed an outlet. And rambling about shows helped. So now when my mind is too loud I tuck into this tiny corner and wrap myself up in happiness. It’s sorta comforting. I’ve never been good at writing in a journal but for some reason just typing like this helps. Puts my mind at ease and lets me rant about my interests. It’s calming.

Been listening to the song alive by rose on loop for the past few days cause I need the stimulation and no other noise was working. On a side note I only found the song a few days ago as well. It’s nice. Kinda reminds me of the Christian music I heard as a kid. Side note: I grew up Christian, now though I don’t really believe but still view it as part of me. Even if I can’t believe old habits and mindsets remain. it's a comfort i miss but not one i find myself regaining. not yet anyway

on another note i get sick when im stressed. or overthinking. or both. stress now makes me physically ill so ive been trying to find ways to stop that from happening. the way it makes me ill is typically me vomiting. so now im trying out meditation. it seems to help a bit but maybe i should do it more to decreass my stress sooner then letting it build up. i guess i just need to get more used to it. calming myself. not tensing as much.

ah im compiling a list of dramas i watch with detective in the name. i love my detective dramas so i find it fun. now, not all of these i have watched yet but they match so: (^w^) hehe~ anyway: zombie detective, vampire detective, ghost detective, insect detective. so many with similar titles and i love them. my roommate is a detective is also in the list but i want to do the most similar titles first and then extend it. ah i love zombie detective so much. and vampire detective has a beautiful team who protect each other to hell and back and i am here for it. man i need to finish that show.

ah im feeling better so i shall get going for now. Have a wonderful day/night!

Ahhh I freaking love Zombie Detective. It’s sooooo good. It’s a Korean comedy drama. There is a romance but I view them more as besties. (That’s just me though.) I am all in for the friendship vibes from this show. I love it. The characters are all so lively. It makes you laugh and cry but mainly laugh. It’s just so fun.

Spill the tea sis.

See Your Love - Taiwan

My random thoughts. Watched the first two episodes and I have to say, I’m loving it so far. It’s just so fun and the characters are all so interesting. They have a presence and strong personalities. Highly looking forward to the rest of it. The vibes are nice and I am excited.