T^T

Okay so I don’t have anything nearly as in depth to say but I do have some thoughts. This is more in general fandomness not just queer related media. So some context: This isn’t my art account but I do make fanart and societal views of the media greatly affect what I may end up posting. I recently became a fan of a kpop band and drew one of the band members. I was scared to post it cause of so many what-ifs and the fact that it didn’t get it to look quite right. But that’s beside the point. Anyway, when I went to talk to friends about if I should post it one of them pointed out some things I had never thought about. So kpop, anime, and other media doesn’t have a good reputation where I’m from though anime has become more accepted. My friend said “So you know how a group of women isn’t evil. But then when a group of women like something it’s given a bad reputation?” Something along those lines but they said it better than I could put into words. And I feel like this has to do with the “only straight women like this media”. It’s mysogenistic. And also just incorrect in the grand scheme of things. So many people like a variety of things but when certain groups of people like something people will attack it just using the basis “well these people like it so it must not be good”. Which, is just so odd. Why would a group of people liking something somehow affect the quality of media? Like I’m sure it would have some influence but not in the way that is used in such an argument. I want to go on more but honestly can’t figure out how to go on so pls add to this. (Sorry if this doesn’t make much sense, I’m not quite sure how to properly express my thoughts)

Now onto a different topic. So I’m a fan of very niche things and highly enjoy my corny cheesey little shows. Some of which I would recommend to my friends until they called one of my shows cringe. Which, okay if it isn’t your thing I completely understand. But it’s a show I’ve expressed that I loved and even recommended. Now if you want to call my show anything call it corny, cheesey, goofy, cause it is. It’s overly dramatic yeah but that’s its vibe. Cringe is so overused and just saying stuff like this made me more wary about what shows I offer people and avoid shows that maybe they would actually like. If you’re going to criticize something, don’t just use negative words. Call it what it is. If it’s cheesey or over dramatic maybe it won’t have that gritty plot line you’re looking for but it’s not supposed to have that. It’s supposed to be a lil goofy, it’s supposed to be fun. Yeah it’s ‘unrealistic’ but the characters have super powers so it was never meant to be. Hell even if they didn’t have powers sitcoms exist for a reason. (Rak Diao, my love).

Another lil tidbit I wanted to add on was just basic understanding of media. I’ve talked about this before so I’m just gonna copy and paste it but edit it to make sense in this context:

So I find I don’t understand everything. By this I mean I can take one understanding of a piece, look at the piece again and just be like damn how on earth was I so wrong before? It’s why I like giving shows a second chance. Cause I might of completely misunderstood what’s happening or maybe I never knew in the first place. It’s just the meaning I took at that time and now I’ll learn something else from it. Like something I might misremember or have a bad impression of I’ll go back and recheck and be like, yeah no I was so wrong. This is great! And vice versa, I’ll be like man this is so good, rewatch and notice things that are a bit iffy. And just go hmmmmm. Just enjoy what you enjoy and don’t be afraid to try things again or let things go. Also, a lot of things fly over my head in shows cause I’m not aware or conscious of everything and I don’t know all the experiences or relevant ties things may have so it’s always good to double check or get a second pair of eyes. (See I read an entire book thinking the main character was a boy. It wasn’t until literal years later I found out the main character was a girl. Did this change much of anything? Not really. But it’s an example and I still thought the fairy and main character were going to end up dating. Alas they did not.)

I hope some of this made sense. T^T

Putting my thoughts out here is terrifying, cause of again all those what-ifs. Anyway, I don’t know how to uh end my lil spiel so yeah. (￣▽￣;)

a question for QL fandom at large: when did we start only wanting media that is perfectly suited to our standards?

there has never been a perfect show, and there never will be a perfect show, because everybody likes different things and QL is run on shoestring budgets. i thought this was something we made our peace with as viewers of the genre!

so i'm just wondering at what point fandom decided that a show is only worthy of praise/fandom if it has no problems?

at what point did we decide that talking about the problems of a show is more important than talking about what we did enjoy and what kept us watching? i don't know when it happened, but it definitely has. critique is treated more seriously and gets more interaction than people talking about what they like.

it seems like a really exhausting and slightly puritan way to do things, to be constantly finding imperfections and treating them as more important than the good parts. dunno about y'all but i don't want to be unintentionally enacting puritan shit.

i want joy, i want fun, i want the spirit of camaraderie in fandom.

so, why did fandom begin to snub any media that didn't fit very high standards? and how can we steer ourselves away from that impulse?

(i am genuinely curious about why this is happening and how those of us who don't enjoy it can change, so please feel free to jump in, even if you are 'late' or think you only have a very small contribution to make to the discussion.)

Ahhh I freaking love Zombie Detective. It’s sooooo good. It’s a Korean comedy drama. There is a romance but I view them more as besties. (That’s just me though.) I am all in for the friendship vibes from this show. I love it. The characters are all so lively. It makes you laugh and cry but mainly laugh. It’s just so fun.

Sleep is cruel. I go to bed before midnight, I wake up at midnight. I go to bed at midnight I wake up at 5am. I go to bed later than midnight I wake up at 2pm.

Guess who went to bed before midnight? And now that it’s midnight I’m awake. Why does sleeping in intervals somehow make me feel more rested? Who knows, anyway gonna do work for a few hours before I crash again.

Reading a story that has a mongoose and all my brain can picture is an actual goose. looked up a pic and they're so cute. Also the story now makes more sense.

A list of shows where I question my decision for watching them. They’re not bad just got some concerning plot lines. If you enjoy them good for you, if not that’s cool too. I’ll just write what they’re about and you can decide for yourself.

Paint with love. The concept seemed interesting. A company president obsessed with profit needs to hire an artist for a job. Due to unforeseen circumstances they’re now stuck together in business. And then… the plot worsens. Interesting start but then the subplots and misunderstandings kinda drag the story down. There are some side couples in the show as well. There’s this one subplot that just… once it’s revealed you’ll be like oh… ohhhhhhh.. oh no… why?! Just why?! And then once one of the characters knows about it they still misunderstand?! Why!?! What’s the point? At the most dramatic part of this plot it does get resolved within an episode and a half. And then it comes back? After being resolved? Leading to my confusion and concern. And then one of the characters just acts super rude to this other character for no apparent reason. Leading to more unnecessary drama. The main romance also starts to feel off balance after a while. As one of the characters always apologizes but the other character never does. Which feels bad, like the other character gets a free pass for his actions. I don’t know how to feel about this show. The subplots are just getting ridiculous as well as the drama. We finally reach a good understanding and boom unnecessary conflict… I am still going to try to finish it and hold onto hope that it gets better.

My stand-in. Super toxic romance. Toxic workplace, mistreatment, etc. A lovely main character gets dealt a bad hand in life and love the first go around only to find himself in another body... with perhaps an even worse hand in life. The main character is nice and kind and has a handful of wonderful people surrounding him. But the more powerful ones are far more impactful, dangerous, and toxic. Poor guy. If you want the main character to be happy, good luck. It's gonna take him a while.

Love syndrome. I have no idea what this one's about. Stumbled upon an episode and was highly confused/concerned. From what I saw, super toxic and concerning behavior. However there does seem to be multiple seasons or parts of this show and I only saw one of them out of order. So who knows. Update: there’s a lot of different versions of this show. What I saw was called love syndrome the beginning, so my view of the show is from that specific episode. The other versions could be very different, I have no idea. I looked through it and realized I recognized some of the actors so imma try to see what it’s about. Uhh never mind. Reading up on it I don’t think this show is for me. Enjoy if you want, imma check out.

Update: I’ve started watching love syndrome 3. It’s been months since I wrote this and now I feel like trying it out. It is insanely toxic but it’s what I feel like watching right now so I am. Until I can handle the next episode of peaceful property at least. Have a wonderful day! (My thoughts while watching this show “Oh they’re adorable!… oh they’re toxic as hell! Oh look they’re adorable again!”) Not me just now realizing that not only do Unforgotten Night and Love Syndrome take place in the same universe, the main characters actively interact. Sometimes I just don’t notice things until a while later into a series.

Dance with the devils. A vampire anime... yes one of those vampire animes. However, it's a musical. So it's really enjoyable to watch in the sense of laughing at its goofiness and staring in horror at its... other scenes. Also the bestie should have totally gotten with the mc.

Ah that’s all I have time to ramble about at the moment. More to come later so have a wonderful day/night!

Spill the tea sis.

Okay this is just a neat lil vent post. So the rest is just me rambling about random things.

Okay I’ve warned you and you’re still reading for some reason so uh hi. My brain’s just been a little too loud for me recently. Ah I guess I can talk about my blog lore. The reason I created this was when I was going through an existential crisis and just needed an outlet. And rambling about shows helped. So now when my mind is too loud I tuck into this tiny corner and wrap myself up in happiness. It’s sorta comforting. I’ve never been good at writing in a journal but for some reason just typing like this helps. Puts my mind at ease and lets me rant about my interests. It’s calming.

Been listening to the song alive by rose on loop for the past few days cause I need the stimulation and no other noise was working. On a side note I only found the song a few days ago as well. It’s nice. Kinda reminds me of the Christian music I heard as a kid. Side note: I grew up Christian, now though I don’t really believe but still view it as part of me. Even if I can’t believe old habits and mindsets remain. it's a comfort i miss but not one i find myself regaining. not yet anyway

on another note i get sick when im stressed. or overthinking. or both. stress now makes me physically ill so ive been trying to find ways to stop that from happening. the way it makes me ill is typically me vomiting. so now im trying out meditation. it seems to help a bit but maybe i should do it more to decreass my stress sooner then letting it build up. i guess i just need to get more used to it. calming myself. not tensing as much.

ah im compiling a list of dramas i watch with detective in the name. i love my detective dramas so i find it fun. now, not all of these i have watched yet but they match so: (^w^) hehe~ anyway: zombie detective, vampire detective, ghost detective, insect detective. so many with similar titles and i love them. my roommate is a detective is also in the list but i want to do the most similar titles first and then extend it. ah i love zombie detective so much. and vampire detective has a beautiful team who protect each other to hell and back and i am here for it. man i need to finish that show.

ah im feeling better so i shall get going for now. Have a wonderful day/night!

You know how I said I was better? Guess who’s sick again! Wooooooooooo! T^T

Let’s see what to ramble about this time. I’m actually in a good mood for this post so ah I have no idea. Oh I’ve just started watching Jazz for Two. Seems very fun so far. I don’t have any of their names memorized at this point in time so uh I love the blue ish haired ones personality a lot. I too tease the shit out of my friends, lovingly of course. And to the one friend I have who knows about this blog, you know. Anyway I just find him to be fun. I’m looking forward to seeing how every characters friendships progress. Though I am worried about how stressed certain plot points might make me. Though, I kinda only know some clips from this show so I got nothing on where the plots gonna head. Can’t wait to find out.

Oh I also found another show on YouTube (idk if it’s the official version though) called Furious Duos. I don’t think I quite understand what’s happening in it but I am gonna try to watch it later.

Missing: The Other Side. One day I’ll be able to finish you. One day. Once you’re back on a streaming service I hopefully have. Pls, I need to know what happens.

Anywho, ah I’m in a good mood. I’m gonna get back to watching Jazz for Two and maybe even get some food. I had so much work to do today and finally get to rest. Still have a little bit to get done but now’s my resting time so I’ll worry about it later. That and if I set aside an hour I should be alright. Oh, still rambling. Have a wonderful day/night! Take care!