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Pendingrambles - Blog Posts
Grades still glitched and my professor isn’t responding to me T^T
Gonna give them a few more days to reply before I send a follow up email. After that though I found their work number so if worst comes to worst I’ll have to call them. Already emailed my advisor and they said I gotta talk to my professor again. So now I wait.
Well guess I’ll put on a comfort show while I work, or maybe I’ll just rewatch pending train again. Still love them.
I am hungry. I’m also awake. Since apparently I can only sleep for around 5 hours and then I must be awake for around 5 hours before I am able to return to sleep. Why does this happen to me? Oh well what do I ramble about today? Let’s see. I got a sweet new satchel today at a thrift store. It’s not my preferred color but hey it holds all my shit and it fits my art supplies so it’s sick. Got a new outfit that makes me feel like a vampire as well, so that’s nice. No idea what I will wear it for but I like it so maybe I’ll throw it on at random. Sadly have yet to get my friends invested in the shows I like but apparently some of their friends have similar show interests so one of these days one of my recommendations will get through to someone and not just because a genshin voice actor is in it. Please I need to rant about my shows to someone who either would be just as invested or invested enough in my conversation skills to be down to hear my rambles. So now, about those shows
Stealer: The Treasure Keeper is hilarious, I love him, and also found family. A thief who steals cultural relics that were illegally obtained or being kept for shady reasons etc returns theme to where they belong. This thief meets a group of cops wanting to work together to take down those who obtain these relics.
Circle: Two Worlds Connected - Jump between times where a cop investigating murders and twins who witnessed an alien appearance question reality.
The Guest (2018) - a priest, a cop, and a taxi driver are being haunted by their pasts. Possession, murders, their lives become entangled as they chase down a deadly ghost.
Weak Hero - found family. My heart man.
Also I’m so fucking hungry right now man but I’m also trying to fall back to sleep. Hasn’t happened yet but who knows.
Psychopath diary - Honestly, I’m not that far into this. It seems really interesting but also oh my goodness noooooo. Office worker witnesses a murder has amnesia (due to a cop car. Eyes on the road loves, though to be fair he did jump out it still bugs me). Ahem anyway, he ends up with a diary listing all the murders. However he has amnesia and doesn’t remember who he is and since the diary is the only belonging he was given, yeahhhhhh. I want to continue it but oh no man I just ahhhhh
Unnatural fires - I love how the credits have fire safety information. Super interesting show with found family vibes plus fire safety. Same as how Are You Safe has internet safety tips at the end of it. I recommend both. Haven’t finished either but they are really interesting.
Anyway I feel like shit rn so imma figure out what to do to feel better. Current options are try to sleep again, eat something, write something, watch something, or do something else. Eh I’ll figure it out in a bit.
Calmly painting, finally at peace with my work-
Wait no
There’s a drop there’s a paint drop where it’s not supposed to beeeeee!!!!
Aaaahahdbhdnfjfnfn
All good all good. Just a spot of green that shouldn’t be there. Got most of it off but it’s watercolor so you know. Is what it is now
Okay okay I just watch Color Rush 2 and (spoilers included) hear me out.
Poly. That’s all I really want to say. What if, all three of them just start going out. I think it’d be fun. But also, I just, I don’t think the way they see colors would be like that. I don’t think seeing colors would automatically be euphoria or anything, like yes I enjoy colors but hearing about colors would probably make them sound fantasy like with how others would stress over how much better it is but it’s not like seeing in grayscale is bad. Like okay I’m sorry but I think it’d be way more overwhelming and headache inducing to suddenly see more colors. It’d be interesting but something someone has to get used to, and there’d be a disconnect for a while. Anyway, sorry I have a lot of thoughts about how the shock of being bombarded with differing visuals would take a toll (listen I know he faints the first few times but also like I don’t think seeing colors would automatically be magical. I think it’d be more nauseating for a while there.) ahem, okay yeah still love it I just, lots of what-ifs, you know (and it’s super interesting to me, these aspects)? Anyway yeah poly, I think it’d be cute. Do I think they’d all get along? No. I think they’d need to get used to it first but I would love to see how they would interact with each other. Yo I’m just imagining so many different scenarios. Clearly the first things that happens when (I don’t remember any of their names) the guy (the probe? one) shows back up without a mask and both the others faint. I just, man I think it’d fun. Okay I’m done rambling for now. I’ve got sooo much shit to do but this makes me feel happy so yeah. Have a good day/night!
The Retrospection of Tomorrow is a really cool visual novel. I’ve been playing it with a friend and oh my goodness it’s great! You got mystery, intrigue, time travel, romance, you’re in for a ride.
Okay it’s been a few hours. Heading back to bed. (Like 4-5 ish hours. I did get some work done. I just need to not get so caught up in my head and just go for it when painting, or well making anything. So I will. Once I wake up)
Guess who went to bed before midnight? And now that it’s midnight I’m awake. Why does sleeping in intervals somehow make me feel more rested? Who knows, anyway gonna do work for a few hours before I crash again.
Me scrolling through posts. Seeing shows I like. Seeing characters that deserve better. They die at the- they fucking die at the end?! What-what do you mean? I don’t get my happy ending for my lil morally ambiguous people? What do you mean!!!
You ever watch a show and get to the final episode only for them to belt out into song? Like look at the screen, 4th wall break, and then starts singing? I never expect it but it’s happened more than once to me. Which isn’t a lot but I’m never prepared. I find it amusing and still enjoy it but they really do like just throwing it at you, no warning. Or maybe I just don’t read the summary enough.
Me every time I send an ask
Should I do this? Should it be anonymous? What if I’m bothering them? Did I word it right? I should delete it, right? Mmm but I want to ask. (´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥｀)
Ah I think I’m gonna rewatch Tomb of the Sea. I’m remembering some of the scenes and damn do I miss their goofiness.
Reading a story that has a mongoose and all my brain can picture is an actual goose. looked up a pic and they're so cute. Also the story now makes more sense.
i before e except after c or when as in ei (a) as in neighbor or weigh
Science wtf man. Why
I mean I guess since it’s pronounced sci-ence
Not sure how many people play Fire Emblem: Three Hopes but like Lindhart, Shez, and Petra I find are a wonderful combination. And I need to see them together.
Sleep is cruel. I go to bed before midnight, I wake up at midnight. I go to bed at midnight I wake up at 5am. I go to bed later than midnight I wake up at 2pm.
When my favorite character is just that one guy in the corner who only has like two scenes and can be spotted in the background every now and again.
You know whenever someone faints in a movie and wake up they automatically try to get up? And the other characters try to stop them. I always found that odd like “why would they get up, they’re injured”. Now I understand, it can be very confusing. Especially when you wake up with a bunch of people staring at you and for some reason you’re on the ground. That’s to say I get it now. (I get adverse reactions to shots, started happening a few years ago. Started fainting. And let’s just say it gets very confusing when you were just standing up and then wake up on the ground. I mean I don’t really feel injured when it happens. So it’s like of course imma get up I’m on the ground. Anyway apparently it’s what happens when your flight or fight response kicks in and the adrenaline has nowhere to go plus lack of blood flow. Speaking of which if you wiggle your feet (at the ankles, like up and down) it can help with blood flow and I have remained conscious since. Sometimes I can tell when I’m about to faint and can warn people. Like the edges of my vision will start filling with like black static and then start going towards the center. Once it completely takes over my vision I am out, but if I notice it happening I’ve been able to reach out and grab my friends arm before passing out so I’ve been caught more than once. But sometimes I forget I have this reaction, though now most people who work where I’ve gotten a shot are aware of this since I, well, forgot or you know, found out while there. )
That’s it imma start collecting these. Every time something uses an unfathomable amount of candles all I can think about is everything going up in flames.
What’s your favorite color?
Don’t have one? Don’t know?
What’s your preferred colors? Color preference?
More open. Works better. More options of colors. Nice.
Don’t have an opinion on the topic? Don’t worry. You don’t need to be super opinionated about everything. People seem to think you always have to be apart of one side and against a different side even if they’re the same thing. I like blue. I like red. If you ask me I’ll say pink. Cause I like pink too. And blue and red are equal to me so I can never decide between them. Pinks a comfort color to me. Though there can be too much of it (looking at you designer Barbie, why would you make the entire building pink? Even I cannot handle that much (if that’s your vibe though good for you))
Ah I just wanted to ramble. People can get so caught up in things that they forget they can enjoy other things too. You don’t need to have an opinion on everything and you don’t need a reason to like something.
I’ll leave it at that. Ah got my thoughts out. Have a good day!
Ah I can’t find the post anymore so guess I’ll make my own. To anyone getting the cursed tubi ad, did you know you can get rid of it? If you filter out the tubi hashtag it goes away (so far this has worked for me, I have not done any other testing so idk if it’ll definitely work for you but I think it should). Hope this helps.
Bro I thought I just lost an entire draft of a drama list and was about to just lay down in despair. I should probably keep a copy of them elsewhere instead of just writing them on here. That would most certainly be safer. But I don’t feel like it right now. Soooooo maybe later. :3
T^T
I looked up for a moment and it’s all blurryyyyy. I know my eyes consistently get worse but come on. Please can you wait a little longer? Needing a new prescription yearly (though to be fair even though I should renew them yearly I will hold out as long as I have to). Oh never mind I’m fine. Figured. Just needed to give my eyes a moment to adjust. I mean, i still do need a new prescription. But eh. It's all good. Though I do need to figure out how to clean them better. The metal is all oxidized by now. Or, you know, many parts of it. Does anyone know how to clean the nose part? When it's the metal with the doohickeys/whatever it's called kind?
Okay so I don’t have anything nearly as in depth to say but I do have some thoughts. This is more in general fandomness not just queer related media. So some context: This isn’t my art account but I do make fanart and societal views of the media greatly affect what I may end up posting. I recently became a fan of a kpop band and drew one of the band members. I was scared to post it cause of so many what-ifs and the fact that it didn’t get it to look quite right. But that’s beside the point. Anyway, when I went to talk to friends about if I should post it one of them pointed out some things I had never thought about. So kpop, anime, and other media doesn’t have a good reputation where I’m from though anime has become more accepted. My friend said “So you know how a group of women isn’t evil. But then when a group of women like something it’s given a bad reputation?” Something along those lines but they said it better than I could put into words. And I feel like this has to do with the “only straight women like this media”. It’s mysogenistic. And also just incorrect in the grand scheme of things. So many people like a variety of things but when certain groups of people like something people will attack it just using the basis “well these people like it so it must not be good”. Which, is just so odd. Why would a group of people liking something somehow affect the quality of media? Like I’m sure it would have some influence but not in the way that is used in such an argument. I want to go on more but honestly can’t figure out how to go on so pls add to this. (Sorry if this doesn’t make much sense, I’m not quite sure how to properly express my thoughts)
Now onto a different topic. So I’m a fan of very niche things and highly enjoy my corny cheesey little shows. Some of which I would recommend to my friends until they called one of my shows cringe. Which, okay if it isn’t your thing I completely understand. But it’s a show I’ve expressed that I loved and even recommended. Now if you want to call my show anything call it corny, cheesey, goofy, cause it is. It’s overly dramatic yeah but that’s its vibe. Cringe is so overused and just saying stuff like this made me more wary about what shows I offer people and avoid shows that maybe they would actually like. If you’re going to criticize something, don’t just use negative words. Call it what it is. If it’s cheesey or over dramatic maybe it won’t have that gritty plot line you’re looking for but it’s not supposed to have that. It’s supposed to be a lil goofy, it’s supposed to be fun. Yeah it’s ‘unrealistic’ but the characters have super powers so it was never meant to be. Hell even if they didn’t have powers sitcoms exist for a reason. (Rak Diao, my love).
Another lil tidbit I wanted to add on was just basic understanding of media. I’ve talked about this before so I’m just gonna copy and paste it but edit it to make sense in this context:
So I find I don’t understand everything. By this I mean I can take one understanding of a piece, look at the piece again and just be like damn how on earth was I so wrong before? It’s why I like giving shows a second chance. Cause I might of completely misunderstood what’s happening or maybe I never knew in the first place. It’s just the meaning I took at that time and now I’ll learn something else from it. Like something I might misremember or have a bad impression of I’ll go back and recheck and be like, yeah no I was so wrong. This is great! And vice versa, I’ll be like man this is so good, rewatch and notice things that are a bit iffy. And just go hmmmmm. Just enjoy what you enjoy and don’t be afraid to try things again or let things go. Also, a lot of things fly over my head in shows cause I’m not aware or conscious of everything and I don’t know all the experiences or relevant ties things may have so it’s always good to double check or get a second pair of eyes. (See I read an entire book thinking the main character was a boy. It wasn’t until literal years later I found out the main character was a girl. Did this change much of anything? Not really. But it’s an example and I still thought the fairy and main character were going to end up dating. Alas they did not.)
I hope some of this made sense. T^T
Putting my thoughts out here is terrifying, cause of again all those what-ifs. Anyway, I don’t know how to uh end my lil spiel so yeah. (￣▽￣;)
a question for QL fandom at large: when did we start only wanting media that is perfectly suited to our standards?
there has never been a perfect show, and there never will be a perfect show, because everybody likes different things and QL is run on shoestring budgets. i thought this was something we made our peace with as viewers of the genre!
so i'm just wondering at what point fandom decided that a show is only worthy of praise/fandom if it has no problems?
at what point did we decide that talking about the problems of a show is more important than talking about what we did enjoy and what kept us watching? i don't know when it happened, but it definitely has. critique is treated more seriously and gets more interaction than people talking about what they like.
it seems like a really exhausting and slightly puritan way to do things, to be constantly finding imperfections and treating them as more important than the good parts. dunno about y'all but i don't want to be unintentionally enacting puritan shit.
i want joy, i want fun, i want the spirit of camaraderie in fandom.
so, why did fandom begin to snub any media that didn't fit very high standards? and how can we steer ourselves away from that impulse?
(i am genuinely curious about why this is happening and how those of us who don't enjoy it can change, so please feel free to jump in, even if you are 'late' or think you only have a very small contribution to make to the discussion.)
Oh, sorry, found myself doomscrolling on your page. Pay no mind to the flood of likes. I am merely enjoying your humour and presence in this online world.
Do you ever just, take off your glasses for the effect? I mean I can’t see shit but sometimes you gotta wonder if you’re actually seeing this shit or your glasses are playing tricks on you. I just like the emphasis. I find it fun.
You know how I said I was better? Guess who’s sick again! Wooooooooooo! T^T
Let’s see what to ramble about this time. I’m actually in a good mood for this post so ah I have no idea. Oh I’ve just started watching Jazz for Two. Seems very fun so far. I don’t have any of their names memorized at this point in time so uh I love the blue ish haired ones personality a lot. I too tease the shit out of my friends, lovingly of course. And to the one friend I have who knows about this blog, you know. Anyway I just find him to be fun. I’m looking forward to seeing how every characters friendships progress. Though I am worried about how stressed certain plot points might make me. Though, I kinda only know some clips from this show so I got nothing on where the plots gonna head. Can’t wait to find out.
Oh I also found another show on YouTube (idk if it’s the official version though) called Furious Duos. I don’t think I quite understand what’s happening in it but I am gonna try to watch it later.
Missing: The Other Side. One day I’ll be able to finish you. One day. Once you’re back on a streaming service I hopefully have. Pls, I need to know what happens.
Anywho, ah I’m in a good mood. I’m gonna get back to watching Jazz for Two and maybe even get some food. I had so much work to do today and finally get to rest. Still have a little bit to get done but now’s my resting time so I’ll worry about it later. That and if I set aside an hour I should be alright. Oh, still rambling. Have a wonderful day/night! Take care!
I’m no longer sick! Wooo! Still got a bit of a cough but rarely. Been busy but I’m back to ramble once more. Now I’m enjoying Caged Again far more than I expected. Think it may turn into a comfort show for me. Sun is super relatable, social interactions are hard. I just love the characters. They’re so fun and charismatic.
Wrote this November 29 and forgot to post. Don’t know where exactly I was going with it but oh well. Posting it anyway.
Okay this is just a neat lil vent post. So the rest is just me rambling about random things.
Okay I’ve warned you and you’re still reading for some reason so uh hi. My brain’s just been a little too loud for me recently. Ah I guess I can talk about my blog lore. The reason I created this was when I was going through an existential crisis and just needed an outlet. And rambling about shows helped. So now when my mind is too loud I tuck into this tiny corner and wrap myself up in happiness. It’s sorta comforting. I’ve never been good at writing in a journal but for some reason just typing like this helps. Puts my mind at ease and lets me rant about my interests. It’s calming.
Been listening to the song alive by rose on loop for the past few days cause I need the stimulation and no other noise was working. On a side note I only found the song a few days ago as well. It’s nice. Kinda reminds me of the Christian music I heard as a kid. Side note: I grew up Christian, now though I don’t really believe but still view it as part of me. Even if I can’t believe old habits and mindsets remain. it's a comfort i miss but not one i find myself regaining. not yet anyway
on another note i get sick when im stressed. or overthinking. or both. stress now makes me physically ill so ive been trying to find ways to stop that from happening. the way it makes me ill is typically me vomiting. so now im trying out meditation. it seems to help a bit but maybe i should do it more to decreass my stress sooner then letting it build up. i guess i just need to get more used to it. calming myself. not tensing as much.
ah im compiling a list of dramas i watch with detective in the name. i love my detective dramas so i find it fun. now, not all of these i have watched yet but they match so: (^w^) hehe~ anyway: zombie detective, vampire detective, ghost detective, insect detective. so many with similar titles and i love them. my roommate is a detective is also in the list but i want to do the most similar titles first and then extend it. ah i love zombie detective so much. and vampire detective has a beautiful team who protect each other to hell and back and i am here for it. man i need to finish that show.
ah im feeling better so i shall get going for now. Have a wonderful day/night!