My grades are glitched and I’ve been having to go back and forth on messaging people to try to get it fixed. It’s hard though cause thinking about grades can send me spiraling. It just feels so suffocating and then I start panicking and so I literally cannot let myself think about it or just ruminate on it. I feel like a bother having to message my professor this much. It should be fine though, yeah? I mean this is their job so hopefully yeah? I managed to send out another email to my professor today after sending one to my advisor so fingers crossed that everything will be fixed after this one. I hope, it’s like painful for me to think about this stuff so it just gets increasingly distressing to me. One day I’ll figure out what all mental things I have but until then, this public diary will do. Cause for some reason this helps me more than an actual diary. Don’t know why screaming into the void is more comforting than into a notepad for me. Well if it works to make me feel better than it’s worth it. I am still hungry so might do that. Would help if I could overthinking but eh rambling my thoughts at least gets them out of my head so there’s that. Okay I’m feeling a bit better now, still hungry, but better. Signing off for now. - PendingHopes
Trick or Treat :3
You get King from My Engineer!!! He was in the Autistic Swag bracket!!!
I feel like I’m vicariously living through what’s happening in Thamepo through the posts of others. I’m receiving all of the perceived emotions and have yet to arrive there in the show (I watched the first couple episodes and then waited cause I didn’t want to wait after each episode. Wanna watch it all together cause my emotions could not handle it).
And now I’m just waiting for the next post talking about what’s happening in the show, cause like what man?! What just happened! Excuse me they did what now?
Also not me specifically waiting to watch the show and then not temporarily blocking the tag. Why must I go through all these emotions with y’all!!! Ahhhh how are you guys able to handle it? I’m gonna go hide in my comfort media.
And so yes I think I’ll continue to wait for a bit.
You know how some fictional characters can detect lies? Do they like, detect the degree of the lie? Cause I know there are a lot of small white lies that merely bend the truth. Would they take the entire thing as a lie or would they have like a percentage on the amount of truth in that statement. For example if one said they were late due to work stuff but in actual it was the mental preparation having to socially interact. I don’t think this is a good example but it’s late and my brain doesn’t have the energy to think of more. But what I mean is just like small mostly truths. Would they have a percentage of the degree in which the person altered the truth or would the character just take the entire statement as false? Well I’ve let the random thoughts out and now… maybe I’ll sleep. Or not. Who knows. Have a wonderful day/night.
Trick or treat! This year I went as Hilda from fire emblem. Actually had the costume for a few years now but was making it by hand (something I’ve never done before but figured why not) so uh never really finished some bits and bobs. This time I finished her weapon so went as her anyway. Have a wonderful day/night!
woah that's so cool!! i've never made a costume by hand like that but i imagine it's super rewarding when you're finished. i bet you looked awesome!
anyways hilda's pink hair (i did have to look her up lol) reminded me of bubble gum so take some blow pops!
and i wasn't sure what to gif for your bonus since i don't know if you share the same brainrot as me but i figure you can't really go wrong with cute boys on a cute arcade date so
happy (belated) halloween!! 👻
Grades still glitched and my professor isn’t responding to me T^T
Gonna give them a few more days to reply before I send a follow up email. After that though I found their work number so if worst comes to worst I’ll have to call them. Already emailed my advisor and they said I gotta talk to my professor again. So now I wait.
Well guess I’ll put on a comfort show while I work, or maybe I’ll just rewatch pending train again. Still love them.
TAE MYUNGHA x A GROWING LOVE FOR LIFE
i finally realized that all the answers i had hoped for were in day to day life that’s too mundane to be “fate,” and yet too beautiful to be “chance.” happiness must be hidden somewhere in each of our days.
love for love’s sake (2024), dir. kim gyun-ah / fatima aamer bilal, from so this is all i will ever be? / mahmoud darwish, if i were another / rainer maria rilke, “the prodigal son.” the selected poetry of rainer maria rilke / sarah waters, from the little stranger / virginia woolf, from a letter to edward sackaville-west / anon on gentleearth / kate rokowski, “a good day” / mary oliver / ocean vuong, “the last dinosaur” from time is a mother / richard siken on twitter / james baldwin, from “they can’t turn back” / heather havrilesky, ask polly / llya kaminsky, from “dancing in odessa”/ fariha roisin, how to cure a ghost / mary oliver, from “work, sometimes”, new and selected poems, volume 2 / maggie millner, couplets: a love story
Random thoughts on 4 minutes the series. Spoilers for episode 6.
Well this Great is kinda adorable in his unhinged way. Ah, he’s trying so hard. Now Great had no idea what would happen if he tried to save Nan and Tyme. Like he had no reason to think these random guys with guns would stop for him. Dude’s scared, always has been. This show is so gonna break me by the end of it. Tonkla though, good on him. Doing exactly what he had planned. He got what he wanted but now what? What’s he gonna do now? Dome is still gone and now so are the perpetrators. So now that he’s got nothing left and no goal to go towards, what will he do? Also did Great’s mom do something to Korn’s mom? She mentioned how if she didn’t do what she did they would have had to live in hiding as mistress and son. What did she do? So many questions. I wonder how this is going to go. 2 episodes left.
-peacefully working on a project-
…
-giant black bug of unknown species-
…
-standing up to put my project together-
-bug leaps into the air making itself known and dives off the right side of the desk-
… I don’t have the mental capacity to handle the maybe fly or some other bug at this point in time.
Exclusive Love
My rambles about episodes 1-3, spoilers included.
*grabs characters shoulders* bud you just made a grave mistake. He will not be able to believe in you or view any of your actions as genuine. You’ve shot yourself in the foot bud and I hope they make you have to work at getting forgiveness and trust back.
Motorcycle lady I fucking love you. You seem wonderful and I can’t wait to see how awesome you are. Please sweep this man off his feet. I just really want to see what all she does. And I hope they keep a good relationship (besties at the least, please).
Lift. A movie I watched on Netflix. It’s about a team of con artists planning a heist. I enjoyed it, fairly true to the heist movie/show themes. I should really finish the next season of leverage. The new one, I already watched the old one. Love that show.
Plus and Minus. Appears to be a cute romance story so far. Highschool friends to lovers I think. Still on episode one so I shall see.
Mr. Queen. Seems really fun. Same actor from zombie detective is in this one. Though it’s mainly his voice that’s there. I love how expressive the characters are and how well the actors bring out their characters personalities. They all feel so natural and fun.
History 3: trapped. Love this show. A mafia member and police detective have a long standing rivalry as they try to figure out the murder of a parental figure. As they clash and fight these other two lovely side characters have such fun. Honestly, just a nice fun show. (Still has police and mafia stuff though so there is violence, etc.)
History 5: love in the future. So far it seems interesting and fun. I’ve only watched a couple episodes and am currently unable to watch the rest so I’m not sure if it has a happy ending.
Blue Period. I read the manga, haven’t fully watched the show yet. I love the manga and from what I’ve seen of the show I think it’s gonna be good. A Highschool boy floating through life gets introduced to the world of art. What will he discover there?
Yuri on Ice. I finally finished this show. Love it. Beautiful animation and powerful emotions shine throughout it. A sports anime about ice skating. Yuri, a skater who recently took a break from skating due to a crushing defeat, returns to the rink. A famous skater makes an entrance, claiming to be Yuri’s new coach. Oh what will happen now?
Insect detective. So far so interesting. I don’t totally vibe with the romance in this show but otherwise I think it’s pretty good. The way they discuss insects and investigate crimes is quite interesting. While some bugs make me squeamish so it can be difficult to watch if bugs bother you. There is violence and it is a detective show so crimes and unalives happen in it. The characters all have fun connections, especially the insect guy and police crew.
The silent criminal. I’ve only seen clips from this show but it seems fun. The main trio seems to have a highly amusing dynamic. A man disguised himself as a soldier (? Not exactly that but I can’t remember the name of it right now) to uncover the corrupted mess of the current government. Or, a fake guard, a cowardly detective (not really cowardly but I couldn’t think of a better word), and a bandit walk into a tavern. And something happens… imma assume chaos and honestly it just looks really interesting.
Anti fraud league. I have no idea what this one’s about. I’ve seen clips but otherwise not a clue. The main characters seem interesting and fun.
The mysterious class. A class of Highschool boys discover that one of them is in fact, not real. There’s a ghost among the students, but who could it be? I liked this one. Made me cry.
Ah there was this one super cute Chinese drama I watched a while ago. I can’t remember its name though so I shall describe it in hope someone may know what it was. So this guy travels back in time but then the thing that sent him back breaks. So he’s stuck. He gets taken in by this woman’s family and so he helps them out against the rival lands. He was super charismatic and upbeat. An inventor from the future gets sent back in time only to get stuck. The last thing I remember was the he had built one of the planes like the weight brothers made to help escape over a chasm? I’m not sure. If anyone knows what this is please let me know. Have a wonderful day/night!