Oh No! They're Gonna Die If They Keep This Up, Please Stop Removing Us, Kris! This Is For Your Own Good!

Editing Part 5: The Structural Pass

Okay, by now you've nailed down how you want your plot, characters, and worldbuilding to be. If you haven't by now, it's a good time to format your document into manuscript format if you plan to move forward to publish in any form.

When it comes to structure, what you're really focusing on is readability. If the format of your book is a slog to get through, if your paragraphs are too long or your sentences are all the same. This will lose readers otherwise in love with your plot.

Dialogue

Dialogue heavy scenes are very fun to write, but pages of dialogue with no action can also be exhausting. Break up your dialogue heavy scenes with actions and descriptions. How does the character's body language reflect their feelings on the discussion? Can you give them a task (picking a lock, chopping onions) that allow you to add to the scene (fumbling when frustrated, dicing harder when angry)?

One mistake (that I've made plenty of times) is to have characters doing things for the sake of doing them. But this is an opportunity to add details that add to your plot (the normally awful cafeteria green beans are delicious, a clue to solving the murder!), character (an alien crewmember is trying to copy human expressions to seem more personable, but his many teeth just freak people out), and world-building and setting (Laura is ranting about her ex, but Tara is distracted by how soulless her rich mother's house seems).

Scene Lengths

Are your scenes running too long? Do they start in the wrong place? (Two paragraphs on making coffee instead of "She was making coffee when George burst in.") Tightening up your scenes will do a great deal to make your book better.

This is easy advice to give and harder to picture doing, I've found. Everything often feels essential to a scene. Try to tackle scenes with the following questions:

What is the point of the scene? (George tells Susan his wife left him for Keanu Reeves.)

Where does the action start? (When George burst through the door without knocking.)

What is the goal of the scene? (Susan starts to suspect George of murdering his wife.)

Where does the action end? (George leaves.)

Where should the scene end? - This answer depends entirely on what you need to happen next. Maybe you have another page and a half of Susan musing about her suspicions right there in the kitchen. But maybe this will be more impactful in the next scene, where Susan is snooping in the garden and happens to find something George's wife would never leave behind.

Varying Paragraphs and Sentences

Pull back and look at your pages. Are all the paragraphs the same length? Do you fall into using the same pattern of sentences over and over? (Guilty) Have you used the same word four times in a single paragraph to describe something? (Double guilty) Break those chunks up, what for those repeat words, and vary your sentences. This is going to help so much with issues you weren't aware of.

Chapters and Word Count

There are many ways to do chapters, but you want to keep an eye out for chapters that are going too long (giving your reader a visual break of a chapter ending can help shift the setting and tone) or too short (have you accomplished everything you need?) This is not a knock on either structure done on purpose - this is to catch something you may have overlooked.

When it comes to word count, industry standards are always a good baseline to go with. Your audience often approaches a genre with certain expectations, and while you can make a doorstopper of a romance, you will find more readers by sticking to the 80-100k range.

While it's...cute? in fanart to see Kris go up and hug Susie, in canon, when Kris is moving on their own to sit next to her, they always give her space.

(Measuring tape for social distancing added for emphasis)

And the one time Kris (jokingly?) asked her for a hug/to share her jacket, they asked, they didn't glomp her.

They immediately smile at her ribbing a moment later, showing that they're not bothered by the refusal.

In fact, any time they've gotten physically close, it's because Susie approached Kris.

Which Kris seems to be perfectly alright with; she's their best friend and Kris does seem to want to be close to her, since they ask her for a hug after the Spamton fight.

My point is, Kris deliberately gives her space when it's up to them how close to get to her. Not only are they respectful of her boundaries, Kris seems to want Susie to bridge that physical gap herself.

If they hug, Susie's probably going to be the one to do it first.

About Kim Rok Soo’s abilities (spoiler alert for chapters 356+)

Have you guys ever noticed that all of Kim Rok Soo’s abilities that are revealed are related to time?

Record: Allows KRS to have perfect recollection of the past

Instant: Being able to move beyond human limitations in the present

I wonder if his other abilities are also related to time. Maybe he has one that is related to the future.

things people do after having a nightmare that isn’t crying

struggle to catch their breath

grab onto whatever’s close enough to ground themselves in reality

become nauseous / vomit

shake uncontrollably

sweat buckets

get a headache

things people do to combat having nightmares if they occur commonly

sleep near other people so they can hear the idle sounds of them completing tasks

move to a different sleeping spot than where they had the nightmare

leave tvs / radios / phones on with noise

just not sleep (if you want to go the insomnia route)

sleep during the day in bright rooms

things people with insomnia do

first, obviously, their ability to remember things and their coordination will go out the window

its likely they’ll become irritable or overly emotional

their body will start to ache, shake, and weaken

hallucinate if it’s been long enough

it becomes incredibly easy for them to get sick (and they probably will)

add your own in reblogs/comments!

Sites to Help with Writing

1 - [ https://www.yourdictionary.com ] I use this site for the thesaurus, It helps to find synonyms for words so you don't repeat "said" a thousand times in your book.

2 - [ https://milanote.com ] This one is very helpful for organising your ideas with story boards, though it's partially free it has a paid version where you can get even more features. I use the free version.

3 - [ https://inkarnate.com ] This site is very popular to create maps, and for good reason. It's free version gives you all the features necessary to create maps, but the paid version gives you extra features. I use the free version.

4 - [ https://www.behindthename.com ] I use this one for names. It has a database of endless names alongside their country of origin and meaning. Very useful, though I use it to make sure the names I come up with don't end the wrong way.

5 - [ https://www.pinterest.com ] Do I even need to explain? Ideas? Here. Visualisation? Here. Everything you'll ever need? Here.

6 - [ https://quillbot.com ] Heard of it from a beloved friend. This site is useful for tone checks, grammar checks, and more. I only use it to edit.

7 - [ Google Docs ] I only use this one for writing, its free and perfectly usable.

8 - [ https://www.artbreeder.com ] This one is essential for character creation. It has many features that allows you to visualise and create portraits for your characters.

Bonus:

I use [ https://tabletopaudio.com ] for background noise while writing, because i cant focus in silence.

That's all, I hope this proves useful :)

Let's be honest in this whole transmigrating situation, the one who got the shortest end of the deal isn't krs! Cale. Like, sure, he was forced into a series of sucky things, but he still gets something out of it.

You know who's the one that doesn't benefit whatsoever from Kim Rok Soo's deal?

The original, unknowing, 18-year-old, Cale Henituse.

Did the now Kim Rok Soo realize he had killed an innocent 18-year-old boy the moment he regressed?

I'm writing a reaction fic with an alive tboah!Cale, but tboah!Cale is not the original Cale, and sometimes I can't help but think about the truest victim that everybody has forgotten: Cale Henituse, the boy whose entire existence was erased the moment 40-year-old Cale regressed.

Can you imagine? One day, you went to bed like normal, and then your body suddenly ceased to be yours.

Apparently, your depressed "older self" - who had already lived his life but was now stealing yours - not only decided to kill you in the name of the "Greater Good", he was also too much of a coward to stay.

Your "older self" (and your murderer) had made a deal with a God and would be fucking off to another world very soon.

You were left to come to terms with 3 things:

A stranger will be taking over your body in your stead (and you know they don't have a choice in this either, but still, you hate-)

You will die. No, more like you will get deleted (and no one will even remember that you had once lived)

You do not get any say in any of this. (You never did, and now, you never will.)

(And to think that in another world, you would have grown up to become him.)

(In the end, Cale Henituse dies hating himself.)

It keeps me up at night sometimes.

Cale is pretty shameless.

If he was told by the GoD that he could get 1 billion gallons if he kissed one of his companions, he wouldn’t blush. No. He would start bartering.

“Only a billion gallons? The Crown Prince has offered me more for less. You’re a god, live up to the name. 30 billion for a kiss on the cheek. I’ll even do a knuckle kiss for 20 billion if you feel cheap.”

The Sun God pitches in. “50 billion gallons for a kiss on the lips.”

Cale turns it down immediately. “You think my first kiss is only worth 50 billion gallons? You must think you’re funny. You couldn’t afford my first kiss with your whole religion.”

The GoD interrupts. “85 billion gallons and a heavenly item.”

He clicks his tongue, do they think he’s stupid? “A heavenly item would only draw more attention to me. I want to be a slacker. Use your head.”

Both gods curse. They can’t let him become a slacker, it would ruin everything.

After a minute of thinking, the GoD and the Sun God come to a conclusion. They’re going to cut their losses and take what they can get. “Okay, we’ll buy a kiss on the cheek for 30 billion gallons.”

Cale makes eye contact with them. “50 billion.”

The gods cry out in indignation, but Cale refuses to budge on this.

With a look of defeat, they split the cost and tell him to pick someone to kiss on the cheek.

He chooses Raon. The dragon is very happy with the sudden display of affection, and the gods curse the name Cale Henituse.

it is canon that:

Noelle would mercilessly grind her Catz to get the right combination, eliminating all Catz that strayed from her path

Noelle has a morbid curiosity, and it gives her the determination to see scary and messed up things, like videogame creepypastas, despite her emotional response to cry and fear

I conclude that:

Noelle could complete an Undertale No Mercy route

Noelle would stream her No Mercy Playthrough and be an instant hit, because everytime someone dies, Noelle spends 5 minutes grieving the person she just killed

Reaction fics are a beloved trope of LOTCF fanfiction, but let me pose a challenge to the concept. Rather than a god deciding to show the audience Cales life as a punishment/gift for the future/to help them in some way, what if it was instead just a godly whim?

The reason they are there is incomprehensible. It doesn't make sense. The god either won't explain, or doesn't care to. The scenes they're shown are helpful in some ways, but not in others. Why are they here? How do they get out?

I'd like to see a reaction fic where the goal of the audience is to leave. They neither want nor need to see the deep, dark depths of their leader. And they will never, ever accept something without knowing the intentions behind it.

This is better if there's another driving force behind why they are desperate to leave. Someone is missing (Cale?), something is happening on the outside (something important), or they're getting signs- hints- figurative or literal writing on the walls from the previous participants in this game that don't spell a happy ending for what comes after this. Something is behind this, and that something doesn't truly care about them.

No one to assure them, "if you just watch his life, everything will be fine." Or when it is assured, the audience fights back. The god assured them, again, they just have to watch. Watch and understand. But they find ways to get out- they have to be dragged back, one by one, into that theater room. It should be fun to watch them analyze the manners of their leader or his backwards thinking, except it isn't. They keep fighting against it. Why are they fighting? Something that isn't human could never understand.

It's an idea I had based off our own manipulation. We write reaction fics for our own amusement. We want to force these characters into a box and make them react to Cale. We are a god that does this- not to help them, not to give a gift to them- it is for our amusement. It's fun to watch them react.

But isn't it out of character for them to not fight back? With biting words and violent actions? These characters don't simply allow themselves to be beaten into submission. Coerced into bowing their heads. We'd have to tie them to their chairs and make them sit and watch. And that's something I see in a lot of reaction fics too.

Usually the best way to keep these characters in place is via the Cale Method. Cale is injured and has to heal, it's a price he has to pay, he's being threatened, etc. It'd be cool if there was something else forcing them down like muzzled dogs. Just my thoughts though.

*anyone is free to run with the ideas from this or any idea built off of this (with no credit)

**but I'd love to be sent anything like it

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