132 posts
In a last ditch attempt to save your people, you offer your life to an ancient god of war and blood. Unfortunately, your translation of the ancient text was a bit off. You're married now.
The best part is - you can hug them as hard as you want and it won't hurt them.
Even now the smoke still stings my eyes a bit
Minecraft jumpscare! Philza immediately started talking about war possibilities with the new Ghast update so I couldn't resist ahah
Hmmmm sbi au with them turning into supervillains and choosing their family over the world
Hmmmm sbi au with them turning into supervillains and choosing their family over the world
The Angel of Death, and the Blood that follows
Inspired by a photo of a 1998 Romeo and Juliet Ballet
meditations on the odyssey
the hunting of joe hills
What do you do when faced with the God of the Sea?? You flirt mercilessly
"the shadow people come by every once in a while"
(my minecraft + mcyt tag)
SOMEONE HAS BEATEN MINECRAFT IN UNDER A MINUTE
I REPEAT. SOMEONE HAS BEATEN MINECRAFT IN UNDER A MINUTE
"No." The King gawked. "No? Why? I am offering you the Hand of my daughter to slay the Dragon that roams the Lands! A man would kill for such an opportunity!" "Because I will not hurt an innocent animal that just follows his migratory pattern. And I am already married."
the suffering never ends
color practice again but with an irene statue I’m not escaping the religious undertones allegations
Was gonna draw mcd aph snoozing at the gem of her dress but I passed out maybe I’ll add that eventually
Here’s a timelapse if anybody’s interested
death message of all time
redesigned my ender prince au za because i like him and miss him.
Update for Aphblr because I need to make everything about Garmau so I painted over my piece from yesterday
Might make this into a print sometime in the summer + rerun old prints that ppl rlly liked
Close ups here:
Philza posting as my first post lets fucking go
“No, no. Trust me; it works. Humans love to take care of pregnant and baby things. I’ve even seen them adopt things they eat!” “What about things that eat them?” “Oh, humans like those best of all! So just go up and act weak, they’ll take care of the rest.”
holy mother of fuck this took years off my life. anyway hi tumblr. this is what i’ve been working on for the past month <3
any rbs are appreciated!!
An unofficial guide to Hermitcraft for Season 10!
Be sure to check out Skizzleman and Smallishbeans, this season's newbies!
A big thanks to several anonymous contributors, @sudden-memory-loss and @cerealisafunbath for helping with some of the quotes and blurbs!
Transcript / Accessible version here
Get the art as stickers here :)
getting there
(original image under cut)
Instead of the curse you intended to lift, you have accidentally broken a curse so ancient that it was assumed to be a fundamental law of the universe.
Welcome to “Useless Facts about Impulse”. The title says it all. I am Eluminium, that one fuck who decided to watch every single Impulse hermitcraft season and actually fucking did it, and I have a bunch of completely useless knowledge from it now. AND I SHALL SHARE IT WITH YOU SO YOU TOO MAY ALSO BE ENLIGHTENED! Also cuz i’m bored as shit (Btw i’ll probably keep adding onto this post as I remember or gain more useless knowledge) People who’ve blessed this post with more facts: @bucket-of-amethyst @tsukinouta LET THE FACTS BEGIN! First addition of facts: August 7th 2022
-Out of every single base Impulse has constructed on Hermitcraft, 3 and a half of them have featured water as a major design element. These would be the City of Atlantis (S5), iBay (S6), The Pyramid (S7), and the half is his “starter base” temple (S3). (I count it as a half because he spent a considerable amount of time designing it but it isn’t his main base so to say.) -Impulse has two seasons of Hermitcraft that are the exact same lenght in terms of episodes, these being S3 and S4, both having 57 episodes. -Impulse’s longest season is S6 with 113 episodes, and his shortest is S8 with 35 episodes -Out of every base Impulse has built, only 2 of them do not feature his logo on the inside or outside in it’s final design. These are iBay (S6) and The Pyramid (S7)
-Impulse is shorter then Bdubs IRL. Bdubs claims to be 5′10 while Impulse claims to be 5′8. This makes fanon extremely hilarious
-In S4, the safe rooms Impulse and Tango constructed in the Wither Skeleton farm were called “The Sissy Room”, but only for one episode. After that it’s never mentioned again.
-Impulse’s wife (Ms. Impulse) has never touched Minecraft because she’s an interior designer and would most likely disappear off the face of the Earth if she ever let herself play the game. It hasn’t stopped Impulse from trying a few times though.
-Impulse has a habit of biting off more than he can chew. In 4 out of 7 seasons he’s been in there have been obvious projects that were never finished. These are in order: The roof of his and Tango’s shared Mega Base (S3), A fair amount of The City of Atlantis (S5), The missing farms on the Phinias Board (S7) and the interior of The Candy Factory (S8)
-Impulse’s current keyboard (At the time of writing) was custom made by his son
-In both S3 and S7, Impulse used the exact same floor desgin and armor stand gimmick for his Patreon Monument.
-One of the reasons Impulse and Skizzleman remain such close friends today was because he found a book on networking on Skizz’s bedroom floor when they were both looking to go to a new collage. They both went to the same Networking class after Impulse suggested it and have been glued together ever since. -They absolutely hated that networking class though
-Impulse has had 4 piercings in total. One in the tongue, one eyebrow one, one nipple, and one in the ear. Both the eyebrow one and the nipple one were taken out after they got caught on various zippers, and the ear one was something he did together with his drumline. None of them survived to the present day though.
-Impulse has sold enchanting related things in 4 out of 7 seasons (S4 S5 S6 S9)
-Impulse used to be completely bald and beardless until he grew out his hair and a beard for a No Shave November challange and people said it fit him. He hasn’t returned to baldness since that (At the time of writing) -Every since their introduction, Impulse always carries a totem on him. Although he has a resource pack that makes the totem invisible in first person so it won’t block up the screen as much.
-His Guardian Goodies shop building in S7 is an exact replica of a Guardian “shop” (everything was free) xB designed in S3
-Impulse has won every single “How to Kill” compitition, and with the exact same concept to boot. In “How to Kill a Doc” he made a bunch of traps that looked like the final blow but weren’t, instead having the killing strike be deliver by Impulse himself. In “How to Kill a Tango” he did the exact same thing, although the final blow should have been delt by a Magma Cube instead. Both of these killing machines also share similar surprises. Both involve fire charges (One from dispensers, one from a live Ghast), anvil launchers and TNT. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it i suppose?
-Impulse actually bought the “copyright rights” to the “i” brand from Iskall in S6 so he could keep iTrade open without confusion. Never got something similar from iJevin thought.
-When S6 updated to the villager update, Impulse managed to obtain a glitched Farmer Villager who never locked up his trades no matter how much you traded with him. Although he did lose a fair amount of villagers in iTrade too, so it was more a soul for a soul.
-The only season Impulse was part of that never had Elytras was ironically S3, the one with amplified terrain.
-The first time Impulse properly tested out the Elytra, it lagged so bad he died from fall damage by falling into Xisumas Guardian Farm. The elytra refused to open.
-Impulse and Tango has had an agreement since Impulse joined in S3 that they can take certain resources from each other’s storages and farms without asking before hand. They call this “Mi casa, Ti casa” or “My house, your house”.
-In 4 out of 7 seasons, Impulse has had at least one entire video that centers around either a request from xB, or featuring xB himself. (S3 S4 S5 S7)
-The “SV” in impulseSV could be read as “impulsive” but it actually stands for Impulse’s IRL initials
-Impulse was introduced to Minecraft via his son, who wanted to get into gaming. Impulse mostly played shooters but he didn’t want his kid to play those types of games at his age, so a coworker suggested Minecraft. Although his kid didn’t know anything about the game, so he had to hop on and learn too.
-Impulse plays Minecraft with an inverted mouse. This is because he got so used to flying helicopters in various shooters it made more sense to his brain that dragging the mouse down means up, and pushing it up means down.
-Impulse started out as a fan of Tango’s until he learned that he and Tango are pretty similar in age and in video style. So he e-mailed Tango about a collab and he accepted. Later they learned they lived incredibly close to each other and went out for some “sodas” (aka BEERS). The rest is history.
-The name Impulse along with the black and yellow colour scheme is something Impulse stole from his drumcore’s name and colour scheme. His favourite colour is actually purple.
-Impulse and Skizz live in the same neighbourhood (at the time of writing)
Second addition of facts 9th of August 2022
-Impulse has a dog (specifically a Border Collie) named Prim and a cat named Luna. Luna was a gift for his older daughter. Impulse wasn’t the biggest fan of cats until his wife got one, and he fell in love as well.
-He and Skizz have been best friends for over 25 years (at the time of writing)
-Impulse has a collage degree in computer information systems, because he was too spooked by a full on computer science degree.
-Despite being born in Iowa. Impulse has lived in Arizona since he was 5 years old.
-Impulse was born in 1981. Skizz is 2 years older. You do the math.
-Impulse ain’t no single child, he has a sister who once saved him from drowning. This was after he had colided with a boat on a Jetski as a kid.
-Impulse is a father of 3, his oldest is heading to collage (at the time of writing) and his youngest is 10.
-If any government or HOA people asks what Impulse’s new studio is (at the time of writing), it’s totally just a guest house. nothing else. nothing to see here.
-He met his wife in collage.
-His channel was originally made to be a sort of memory box of him and his son playing games together.
-His wife has a Etsy store where she sells custom made jewlery. It’s called Desert Medows Design (it’s actually pretty sick ngl)
-Impusle is a pretty big “sportsball” (aka Sports) fan and usually brings it up in streams. Not for long though considering he recognises that most people who watch him aren’t that into sportsball (his words not mine. honestly though it is pretty cool to listen to, could be just a me thing.)
Third addition of facts 12th of August 2022
-Impulse has a back injury that appearenly reappears to cause problems sometimes. He got it from playing Volleyball one time and messed up a muscle in his back when jumping. According to the man himself, when that pain flares back up it can leave him stranded on the couch with ice packs and heatpads for a fair while.
-According to Skizzleman, Impulse doesn’t handle blood very well. He got hit in the face with a pizza box once and the bleed he got from that made him serverly nauseous.
-Impulse has a slight gluten intolerance Fourth addition of facts 18th of August 2022
-Impulse has back teeth retainers.
-Impulse hates olives. Like “Will throw up” levels of hate. He shares this hatred with Tango.
(thats enough for now but i’ll probably add more as i think them up)