The Little Spider Under My Table Strung Up A Pebble To Anchor Its Web And I Am As Curious As I Am Impressed

I saw you when the sun went down There was a spark You saw me as the night came We saw each other in the dark

Maybe we hesitated for a moment For hands to hold Finally when they touched There was a jolt

You and me and an abandoned place An apartment high in the city In a blacked out world The roofs gray and gritty

But you laid your palm on mine And the current flowed Through our fingertips and wrists Our arms began to glow

In an older kind of world You and I were electric Before we were drawn together We never knew we kept it

As our hands lit up our faces I kissed you on the lips We shocked our hearts so hard The current slightly tripped

The people down below us murmured As our light grew and grew I think your eyes were just as bright As mine were for you

When you kissed me back We shook the floors Trembling in the building Rattling all the doors

The people started running Some yelling up the stairs But neither of us heard them We were both unaware

Surrounded in a shield of power Afraid we might explode You squeezed my hands as we burst Away on our currents we rode

When I have swam too far And been lost in my emotion You have been the lighthouse That brought me out of the ocean

When I have flown too high Out of the atmosphere You have brought me back to earth And made me long to be here

I have never ran too far Or trekked alone in the snow The idea that I might miss you Has kept me safe you know

And when I have been too quiet When darkness filled my sky The image of your smiling face Has kept my guarded heart alive

I think I finally understand The rose's thorns I too want to be loved Without being touched

So I am no romantic flower I embody the stem I want to be ideal And practically unattainable

I am haunted By a world Where you No longer Exist

I am broken By such an Intense Lack of You

Curiosity Is not always dangerous It's not killed this cat

If I write you You will never leave You will be with me When you are not

If I write you You will stay mine I will have you Even though I do not

"Be gentle with me" I say to myself, or to my thoughts I want to detach myself from them Thought and I Are not one in the same

Thoughts can be cruel tricksters Jokers and bandits They reside within me at times But they do not speak in my voice They snicker when I do not

"Be forgiving" I say to myself, in spite of my thoughts No one is as savage as they are Intruders, there is a "No Loitering" sign You can enter but you cannot stay

I feel far from you for the first time The first time the oceans have mattered The first time the world has felt large And vast, and endless, and where are you?

When you have been here in my heart And I am searching and scavenging Scouring and raving mad in my uncertainty Like you are around me but not here

Like we rowed in separate little boats Me by the shore, you off on the horizon You were always just out there by the sun But you have drifted into the light, away

I always felt you in my mind but it is quiet I tell you tales that you don't hear You have interests and friends I don't know For the first time you feel like a stranger

Tell me why you ban the books Which tell stories of Two male penguins adopting a child, Books that show disabled kids And gender non conforming kids And black kids whose teachers Forget their names?

Tell me why you ban the books That challenge you Because they are written plainly About plain people Who are different from you?

Tell me why books are taken off shelves For being too explicitly queer When you force children to read Passages from the bible about Rape, genocide, slavery, and a hateful god? Why is your book not banned For depicting in detail such things?

What makes your book the exception? You censor children from truths And teach them a god will hate them Because they are different You teach children to hate themselves Because your book holds no space for them

"Please stay" He begged and started to cry I gathered my things "Please just try"

I couldn't be his Not anyone's I've tried this before More than once

"I love you" He told me at the door I said nothing back What would hurt more?

I drove away And missed all his calls I wished I'd felt something Anything at all

"You'll never see me again" He threatened But his words were a gift Not a weapon