It Just Occurred To Me That These Three Are The Same Person:

Don't ask me about Jacob's accessory choices, pls.

3D Hakob

Go say thank you to @pande-monty-um for asking me to make this Jacob's head perspective sheet. Feel free to use it for reference (especially if you then provide us with some hot Hakob content ohoho) or just for staring respectfully (lies). Here is a higher-than-tumblr-quality version. If you want some more Jacobs looking at you from above, I got you fam!!!

Twink John Exists, and Can Hurt You

As your local provider of beardless Seeds and Deputies, I was asked by @blindedlamb to deliver some godless beardless John.

I absolutely hate this, btw. John, please grow back your beard.

Here is a cute pic of beardless Staci to cleanse the palate.

Quarterly Evaluation Time, Seed

No need to be scared, you are doing great so far.

Deputy J. SEED

Finally got the correct nametag for our deputy Seed!!

I was brough up right

ma pa used to tell me shut up, and I'd shut up

I wouldn't say nothin' ONE TIME DOWN NEAR STARVED TO DEATH WOULDN'T TELL MILLER I WAS HUNGRY

Based on this post.

Deputy Stacy Pratt

One of your fellow Hope County Deputies who's a good cop when his ego doesn't get in the way.

I can't believe this description is official. It hurts :/

hakob: it's nice to finally meet your colleagues, deputy bratt

bratt: you son of a…

When your dad and papa visit you in the hospital while still on duty (them old men can't stop bitching and arguing)