Twink John Exists, And Can Hurt You

Predator poofs

floofs of doom? bloodthirsty boopers? the fluffsecutioners? Bark assassins?

Get Outta Here, Peaches.

Peaches, riiiiiight. Jacob is very sus for this one in particular.

So we all have noticed that weird peaches thing (that seemingly has no explanation). And I thought to myself “what a wonderful…”. No, wait, I thought, “what does Jacob call Pratt in other languages? Does it sound peachy? Is it fruity?”

I have gone over the subtitle files and, lo and behold, will now present to you all the variations that I managed to find. I will split them into three categories as follows:

“Why are you gae?”

“Who said I am gae?”

“Borderline homophobic (towards the original version)”

Let's start!

"Why are you gae?"

Russian

Отойди, красавчик. Step aside, handsome.

Possible variations: Pretty boy Usage: Often used playfully or sarcastically.

Italian

Datti una mossa, bellezza. Get moving, beauty.

Possible variations: Beautiful Usage: An affectionate term, though it can also be sarcastic.

Arabic

عليك الخروج من هنا يا جميل You need to get out of here, handsome.

Possible variations: Beautiful, lovely, fine Usage: An affectionate term, though it can also be sarcastic.

Dutch

Wegwezen, mop. Get lost, honey.

Possible variations: Dear Usage: An affectionate term between friends, though it can also be sarcastic.

French

Dégage de là, mon grand. Get out of here, big guy.

Possible variations: big bro, champ Usage: Literally, "my big one," used as a friendly or affectionate term, especially for a strong or tall person.

Polish

Wynoś się stąd, dziecinko. Get out of here, baby.

Possible variations: Little one, child, kid Usage: Can be affectionate but also condescending, depending on tone.

Note: We went from mon grand to dziecinko really fast there.

"Who said I am gae?"

German

Verschwinde hier, Schwätzer. Get out of here, you chatterbox.

Nothing to add here, really. Germans are on point, as always.

Korean

비켜라, 인마. Get out of the way, dude.

Possible variations: Hey you, buddy Usage: An impolite or blunt way to get someone's attention, often implying annoyance or frustration.

Traditional/Simplified Chinese

給我離開這裡，朋友。 给我离开这里，朋友。 Get out of here, friend.

Possible variations: Partner, pal, fellow Usage: Can be used warmly but might be neutral rather than a direct term of endearment.

"Borderline homophobic"

Spanish

Largo de aquí. Get out of here.

I am sorry, Spanish, are you perhaps missing something?

Portuguese (Brazil)

Sai daqui, anda. Get out of here, come on.

Welp, at least we have the “come on” part.

Czech

Padej odsud. Get out of here.

Possible variations: Scram Usage: An informal and somewhat harsh way of telling someone to leave.

Japanese

お前は下がっていろ  Stay back.

He did, in fact, stay (in the) back. And then he STABBED in the back. MUHAHAHAHA

This concludes my peachy list! If you find any mistakes or have additional comments on potential variations and usage, I would greatly appreciate your input!

And here are some Armenian variations from me:

Գնա / Կորի / Կորի գնա / Գնա կորի / Մի կողմ գնա/ Գնա ստեղից /Շարժվի՛

Transcription: Gna / Kori / Kori gna / Gna kori / Mi koghme gna / Gna steghits / Sharzhvi!

Meanings: Go away / Disappear / Move aside / Get out of here / Move!

Անուշիկ(ս) / Սիրուն(ս) / Բալիկ (ջան) / Ախպեր (ջան) / Տղա (ջան) /Բլբուլ (ջան) / Ջան

Anushik(s): "Sweetie" / "My sweet" (-ս/s makes it possessive ("my sweet")) Sirun(s):"Beautiful" / "My beautiful" Balik jan: "Little one" / "Dear child" ("ջան/jan" adds warmth and affection) Akhper jan: "Brother" / "Bro" (affectionate and common between close male friends) Tgha jan: "Boy" / "Lad" Blbul jan: "Nightingale" (used for someone talkative or charming) Jan: A general term of endearment, meaning "dear" or "soul" (used after names or words to show affection)

Let me know how it sounds in your language as well!

Edit I

Slovak variation (suggested by @pande-monty-um)

Some fun ways of saying "Get out of here/scram"

Zmizni: Dissappear Choď preč: Go away Vypadni: Literal meaning "fall out of here" like a window (lol just a very fast exit) Choď do riti: Literal meaning "go into an ass" Zmizni mi z očé: Dissappear from my sight/eyes

Most common term of endearment:

Zlatko: Gold/Goldie. Similar to sweetie, sweetheart, honey Zlatíčko: An exaggerated "baby talk/sweetheart" addition to zlatko Miláčik: My love/lover Chrobáčik: Little beetle/bug Srdiečko: Heart/my heart The čik suffix is used to obtain the diminutive form.

Alternative "peaches" explanations:

Dig at Staci’s peach fuzz, considering EG is beard country or something related to Peaches the cougar. (@doritofalls)

Peaches the cougar was giving cultists a hard time, and Jacob is implying that Staci is being equally difficult to tame (@leviastan).

As a matter of fact, there might be some connection to Peaches the cougar as “Peaches is the only animal companion that Staci is positive about”. You can see his voice lines and attitude towards animals here.

Our poor boi is scared of dogs and bears T.T

He likes pussies tho it seems ≽^•⩊•^≼

I mean, that's

Staci “You know why I became a cop? To get laid” Pratt

for you, ladies and gentlemen.

Three wise monkeys

Brought to you by the "Documentaries From Hell" series

To leave this purgatory, you must see no evil hear no evil speak no evil

Ok, this is peak Jaci for me

A team of wild judges couldn't tear them apart

the uncontrollable jacobian urge to hug a smol pratt

Caravaggio Meets Jacop and Bosstaci

Anyway, I have decided to bother chatGPT with the dirty cop x cartel boss AU stuff.

Warning:

All the images below were generated by ChatGPT based on my screenshots of Bosstaci & Jacop, and Caravaggio's style (with a single exception). If you do not like AI art, you are free to scroll by.

So, ofc a Jacop sitting cozily on the floor. Also, no matter what I do about Seeds, it always ends up with,

HIM???

The spirit of Charlie Hunnam truly haunts the Seed family.

Onto Bosstaci now:

The boy looks ill and sad, like anyone would in 16th century.

Ofc, we need a group (of two) photo as well:

I have no clue what Jacop finds so funny, and neither does Caravaggio Bosstaci, it seems. He looks like he is tired of Jacop's shit.

Lastly, I have asked Chat to produce its own image, in any style it chooses, based on my endless yapping about them sweet bois. It decided to take heavy inspiration from the neon-night-rainy setup, and came up with these:

I will end by quoting the trully wise words of my good friend GPT:

two bros chillin’ at a hot spring 1.5 feet apart

am i interrupting something here?

Don't ask me about Jacob's accessory choices, pls.

In the wise words of @pande-monty-um "HE IS EVERY OLDER BUTCH LESBIAN"

Sorry (?), not sorry(?)