Based On A Conversation I Had With My Friends Today

Alfred, dying (but this will NEVER happen cuz Alfred is invincible): Goodbye... I love you all...

Dick, crying: Alfred!! No! You can't die!!

Damien: Yes Alfred! We can't survive!!

Alfred, weakly: You'll be alright...

Jason: We really won't be

Alfred: Master Bruce will take care of you.

Bruce: I really can't

Tim: Yeah, remember that one time where Bruce was making cereal.

Alfred: What's wrong with that?

Dick: ...he burnt the whole kitchen...

Bruce: Ok! That was one time!

Jason: But what about the time where you burnt the toast? Or when you forgot to cook?

Bruce: ...

Alfred: ...

Alfred: Alright you guys won't survive.

kitties

Daily reminder that Bruce Wayne is precious.

I like to think that Peter Parker, Pepper Potts Bucky Barnes would have a club called the Alliteration Association. But hear me out

It's not an extravagant club or anything. They would probably just sit down and complain about people, work and just life in general.

It's just a place to chill and relax and do whatever you want.

Pepper would obviously be the head/leader or whatever you want to call it

Bucky would probably make the food

Peter would do what Peter does best and act cute

Wade would just drop in whenever and they'd always be happy to let him in.

They'd never have a place where they'd always be in

Once they were in the vents and Clint found out and wanted to join

He said that his name was Clint Barton and B and C are consecutive (?) to eachother in the alphabet

So they let him join.

Then Natasha obviously found out so when she asked they ket her in straight away.

Her exception was that she's badass and badass has 2 's' es

Then Steve probably found out and he could join cuz

America's Ass

And Tony would have been the last one to find out

After all the other avengers and people

And they'd let him in cuz, in Peter's words

"Tony and Stark both have a T in them"

And there would always be an exception

So they changed the name from "Alliteration Association" to "Non-alliteration Association"

Cuz nobody could think of something better

Teen Bruce (actually just me projecting lol sorry y'all)

Bruce: *gets thrown a condom in the middle of class by a classmate* wtf do you expect me to do with this???? Like I have a gf??? Or a dick?

--

Bruce, *internally*: Maybe if I sit really still the teacher will forget I'm here and I won't have to take the exam

--

Barbara: what kind of music are ya listening to?

Jason: radio static, because it's the only thing that accurately portrays my thoughts and feelings about this prison of a reality

Bruce: amen kiddo ill drink to that

--

Bruce: this literally tastes like ass

Ollie: how would you know what ass tastes like lol?

Bruce: you've SEEN my snapchat Oliver, figure it out.

--

Bruce, *texting*: alfie pls come pick me up before I eat a fourth orange

Moon knight episode 5 spoilers

Didn't khonshu turn to stone?? And now Steven?? Does that mean they both can come back since in the 3rd episode (I think) khonshu said marc can make him come back???

I'm in denial and I want Steven to come back 🥲

they are the hottest

Bruce getting stuck in a situation and having no choice but to call and wait on Clark to help him

Bruce: [trapped in a cave after an avalanche] “well shit… Clark? Clark! Clark!”

Clark: [shows up 30 minutes later. Uses heat vision to melt through the snow] “I’m here. Sorry, I was having dinner with ma and pa”

Bruce: [shivering uncontrollably] “you know what? I’m telling Martha you let me sit here in the cold so you could eat some fucking apple pie”

"Tell him to get in line"