One Day I'm Going To Die And When They Cut Open My Body For Autopsy They're Going To See The Rot In My

I've been scrolling through your blog and couldn't help but notice all your posts have at last 200 notes. And yeah I guess it makes sense because your art is beautiful and all but I think you need to make a flop post already to y'know get the true tumblr experience

Oh no! I had no clue I was missing out on the true tumblr experience!

THIS will be MY flop post!

No art. No tags. Doomed from the start.

Behold the glory of a post with less than 200 notes!

Thank you for helping me get the FULL tumblr experience.

♥

Highlights from the conference room where they nominated contenders for Word of the Year 2023:

• They put Skibidi Toilet on the projector to explain what “skibidi” means.

• Baby Gronk was mentioned.

• We discussed the Rizzler.

• “Cunty” was nominated.

• “Enshittification” was suggested for EVERY category.

• “Blue Check” (like from Twitter) was briefly defined as “Someone who will not Shut The Fuck Up”

• The person writing notes briefly defined babygirl as “referencing [The Speaker]”. He is now being called babygirl in the linguist groupchats.

• MULTIPLE people raised their hand to say “I cannot stress this enough: ‘Babygirl’ refers to a GROWN MAN”

then go back there??

anyway follow me and reblog all my posts and be extra niceys to me

PSA FOR TWITTER MIGRANTS: HOW TO FIT IN ON TUMBLR

Follow me and reblog all my posts and be extra niceys to me

Everybody wants to be—…

i need an Osmosis Jones type movie from the body of a trans guy with all of these as quotes

The human body's response to HRT is actually admirable in the sheer indifference. Just pure I Don't Give A Shit, I Just Fucking Work Here compliance to the new instructions. You can get testosterone injected straight into your body and it doesn't even question where that shit came from, coming back from a coffee break and just going

"Okay, everything seems to be in ord- oh fuck now what? Oh huh. Alright fine. New orders came in, cancel the menstrual cycle. Dig up the genetic balding patterns from somewhere, I don't fucking know they're buried somewhere in the dna. I'm greenlighting the growing-hair-on-your-toes thing. Yeah just cancel the ongoing maintenance processes, new orders came in so this is apparently what we're doing now."

so nice of amazon to make another ineffable husbands playlist

i said a secret third thing

friendship arc,mentorship or a secret third thing

2024 MANDATE

Do NOT. Do not. DO NOT buy fake leather

Pirate everything. Burn cds. Fight the cloud

PHYSICAL MEDIA

Tip food service workers crazy style

Smile at yr bus driver

Wear more eyeliner

Read superhero comic books

Paint more blood and gore

See saw xi in theaters

DIY OR DIE

Draw messy

LIVE MUSIC

remember that old panic at the disco is good truly

Tell people you love them

Stompy boots

My Chemical Romance

Assault a customer at your retail job

Write that weird fanfic

Watch every vampire movie ever made

Wear that crop top

Start a fire

Listen to music made by angry women

Remember that you are fucking alive and do whatever you want

a mask changes everything. you can have the most cringefail guy ever and people will listen to them when their face is covered by a cool enough mask