Otter Pop, My Method Of Transportation When I Was Little At The Store, My Cats Favorite Toy

nom

(at last night's queer cabaret)

person announcing the show: "now i don't want to see any heckling tonight, no racism, no sexism... none of the isms"

person in crowd: "what about autism?"

announcer: "yeah autism is fine"

Those people who constantly reblog your stuff but you never really talk:

the other day I had this weird dream where someone broke into my house with a ski mask on, like with two eye holes and a mouth, and I was like, 'oh hell no' so obviously instead of calling the police I grabbed my sword but I haven't sharpened it yet so it's just blunt painful steel. so I bludgeon this guy in the neck until he goes off to join Hogwarts if you know what I mean and when i finish I'm like 'let's see who it is' and I pull off his mask and it was the president of United states, like it wasn't a real president it was just dream logic but then I woke up

What to do if you find yourself homless- written by someone who has actually been homeless

Most important: Spend the money you have on a motel. Churches probably will not actually help and shelters can be dangerous or turn you away. At a motel you have free breakfast, access to running water, and a lockable place to sleep. Do not waste money on a gym membership like the popular version of this post says to do, YMCA memberships are like $40.

2. Contact family and friends. Now is not the time to worry about being a burden. Your survival and safety comes first and that is all that matters, anyone worth having in your life will agree.

3. Start a gofundme. Even if someone can’t offer you a place to stay, they might be willing to toss out $5 so you can eat today.

4. Libraries have free wifi. Apply to any and all jobs you can think of if you aren’t already working.

5. Any home is a good home. Even if it’s a dingy apartment in a bad neighborhood. If its cheap and you can afford it, snatch it up. 

6. Pancake mix and peanut butter are filling, cheap, and last a long time.

PLEASE SHARE THE FUCK OUT OF THIS

The cops are calling it arson and insurance fraud but to me it was simply the risks that come with my famous gasoline toast

was I the only one totally unaware that there was a solar eclipse today??? Please tell me I’m not