Latest Posts by thesadpandagod - Page 4

POSTING THIS AGAIN!!!

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE BE CAREFUL OUT THERE!!!

Have you guys seen the golden cow its pretty cool. probably even cooler than God

For the apostate ask game:

3. Have you gotten emotional support from friends in deconverting/deconstructing? Would you like more support? Have you found any online?

7. Do you like angels or demons?

3. Yes, I have! As I realized I no longer believed I tried to reach out to people outside of my cult to reconnect. I was very surprised about how many people were happy to hang out again, and when I told them my situation were super supportive and understanding! It was so affirming when one of them told me how brave and proud of me they were for leaving. I also found out my closest friend in the cult was also questioning shortly before I formally left. Being able to maintain our friendship and be honest about our experiences has been so nice.

While I was still with my family and PIMO I really appreciated this blog as a way to vent and see others with similar experiences. Now that I'm out of immediate danger, I'm doing a lot of trauma work in therapy. I've got a lot to work on but I think I have sufficient support for now.

7. Oh 100%. Unfortunately Jehovah's Witnesses don't have as much artistic flair with their worship, but other's religious imagery was always seen as taboo. This makes it fun now lol. I'm also very into religious studies. I think the psychology and cultural parts of religion are fascinating now that I've spent so much time dissecting my old faith.

Ask Game for Apostates, Exchristians, Deconverters and Questioners

(Send a number to me/reblogger’s ask for an answer. Be compassionate, these are personal and not everyone will want to answer all of them.)

1. Do you identify as an apostate, exvangelical, ex-(denomination), heretic, or something else?

2. How would you describe your current beliefs?

3. Have you gotten emotional support from friends in deconverting/deconstructing? Would you like more support? Have you found any online?

4. Was any person, book, or something else instrumental in your deconversion?

5. Who have you told about your deconversion/change in beliefs?

6. Favorite piece(s) of media that speaks to your experiences?

7. Do you like angels or demons?

8. What gives you purpose?

9. Whats one thing that makes you glad you left?

10. What do you love about the world?

11. Has deconverting impacted your experience of gender or sexuality?

12. What are some things that make you happy?

13. (tw) Do you relate to the concept of Religious Trauma Syndrome?

villains are fine when they kill people I draw the line at being horrific parents though

Enemies to lovers but it's two people who go from being mormon and jw to exmormon and exjw

I wish all closeted LGBTQ+ people a very happy pride month.

 tbh i fully believe that healthy kids should be getting in some stupid trouble.

like, a child that’s in trouble all the time, frequently skipping school, getting caught doing crimes? that’s a kid that desperately needs literally any positive attention. that kid needs help. obviously.

but a child that is perfectly well-behaved, never speaks up for themself, is seen and not heard? that’s a child that’s afraid. they also need help.

I love color theory :)

The original pride flag and the sewing machine it was sewn on

Update:

So we are on speaking terms. The elders aren't pushing too hard about meeting or formally disassociating because the CO (their higher up) was visiting at the same time. Despite all their freaking out they contact me like nothing has changed now.

I plan to leave things like this for now and am glad I can still talk to my younger brother. Curious to see if things will change as I'm more honest online.

I finally moved out and told my parents I was leaving the cult. Moving was fine i suppose but the phone conversation explaining my stance was much more emotional than I expected.

My parents aren't the type to question their beliefs so I wasn't going to put effort into explaining myself, but they kept pushing. They had preconceived notions that I was just bitter or foolish and kept poking only to have me explain how their bigotry made my life hell. My dad tried to play off the slurs and awful things he said as jokes only to have to come to terms with the fact that I grew up feeling unlovable and disgusting because of him.

Now I'm waiting for them to decide if they ever want to talk to me again. They're crushed but still miss the point. Rather than realizing "homophobia bad" they took "we did homophobia wrong". While I can't say I wanted to spill so much to them, I'm happy that they have to live with what they've done.

Mother's Day can be a painful reminder, so here's a salute to all the kids and adult children who grew up with absent mothers, angry mothers, negligent mothers, abusive mothers, overly-critical mothers, codependent mothers, overwhelmed and struggling mothers, mothers who ignored your cries for help, mothers who sacrificed your happiness to placate others, mothers who tried to do better but failed, and mothers who didn't try quite hard enough.

And to every child and adult who has a complicated relationship with their mother or caretaker--it's okay to feel conflicted. It's okay to feel hurt and love and resentment and pain and sympathy and longing and guilt bundled up into one big tangled ball. It's okay to struggle to reconcile the bad memories with the good ones that simultaneously exist. It's okay to be angry about the ways your parent failed you, and also aware of their personal struggles, and the way their parents in turn failed them. It's okay to recognize that you were loved but also that you were treated unfairly, unkindly. Contradictions are the natural state of the world. Multiple truths coexist. It's okay to be conflicted.

Parents are humans. Human relationships are complicated, and cannot be summarized by a greeting card. Wherever you are coming from, I hope your future holds healing and love, love, love.

May God bless you in all of your gay endeavors

I finally moved out and told my parents I was leaving the cult. Moving was fine i suppose but the phone conversation explaining my stance was much more emotional than I expected.

My parents aren't the type to question their beliefs so I wasn't going to put effort into explaining myself, but they kept pushing. They had preconceived notions that I was just bitter or foolish and kept poking only to have me explain how their bigotry made my life hell. My dad tried to play off the slurs and awful things he said as jokes only to have to come to terms with the fact that I grew up feeling unlovable and disgusting because of him.

Now I'm waiting for them to decide if they ever want to talk to me again. They're crushed but still miss the point. Rather than realizing "homophobia bad" they took "we did homophobia wrong". While I can't say I wanted to spill so much to them, I'm happy that they have to live with what they've done.

I've been thinking a lot about queerness lately and I keep getting stuck on how deeply I want it to be normal. I want little girls to come home excitedly telling their parents about a pretty new girl in school that they have a crush on. I want young boys to have their first kiss with another boy and be able to tell their friends about it. I want them to be impressed and slap him on the back and say congrats. I want to bring home a woman to my family and have my father give her that whole fake threatening, "you better be good to my daughter" speech before offering her a handshake and a beer. I want people everywhere in the world to be able to hold hands in the street and not even think twice about it, not have to feel afraid, not have to feel like they're making a statement. I want so desperately for the world to catch up with something that so many of us already understand as normal. I don't want to be merely tolerated, and I wish pride wasn't necessary. I wish that having confidence in myself wasn't a revolutionary act.

happy lesbian day/week of visibility to disabled lesbians. when we see lesbians in the media, they’re almost always able-bodied. we rarely see any representation of lesbians who look like us. we struggle so much every day and hardly get any respect from the rest of the lgbt community.

we’re all so strong and beautiful. keep your head up and know your worth!

i hope all you lesbians are having an especially great week this week, i love y'all

all the lesbians get a little forehead kiss this week, i don't make the rules

If you struggle with mental health, you will see alot of people saying "it will get better!" and others saying it never will. Dont expect wide generalizations like either to be accurate to your life. There are so many things that affect your mental health that you might not even be aware of yet. Just know with help, it always gets easier and sometimes that's enough.

what’s one piece of wisdom you wish you could share with people going through issues similar to what you survived when you were younger?

Being in a cult is like having this huge plant take root in your mind, and the longer it’s inner the bigger and more complex the root system.

Finally realizing it’s all a lie and getting out is like yanking the entire plant out of your brain, it’s tough and annoying until you take one massive tug and it’s out. And it fucking hurts.

And now there are holes where the roots used to be. But if you leave them empty the structural integrity of your mind will be damaged. You have to find something else to fill them with. Preferably something healthy.

And if the roots were complex enough, the one tug that pulled the plant out won’t have been enough to free all the roots. A lot of them are still in there, that’s all the toxic internalized ideas you still have stuck in your head. Unlearning them is like pulling those root fragments out, it’s slow and complicated and painful.

Back on my bullshit - keep your eyes out for a ‘How would you meet your end in Ancient Rome’ quiz

reblog this post to give the person you reblogged from a fruit gummy

🍇🍈🍉🍊🍋🍓🍍🥭🍎🍏🍐🍑🍒🍓🫐🥝

Every time I see someone who is dealing with an issue with abuse come up on the news, I am bombarded with the simple reality that the society I live in will always perpetuate abuse, and reward abusers.

The social response to the #MeToo & BLM movements are the easiest (for me) to point at, but are definitely not the only ones. Victims of abuse are the unwanted voices in the social sphere. We break the belief that the world is just. We must be brought in line. Discredited, muted, obscured.

"It was just a joke. You're overreacting."

"Well, you did drink too much that night."

"I mean, you did do weed / cheat / drink / shoplift when you were younger."

"You wore that? No wonder."

"Well not all christians -"

"You can't call them narcissistic / an abuser / a rapist / a racist -"

"I've met them and they were lovely, you must have done something / be lying."

"They never beat you or anything, right? You should just forgive them. They're human, after all - we all make mistakes!"

It is an odd thing. Piling onto abuse, to preserve an illusion that there is none.

I’m gonna start a league of evil aspec people; you are all invited to my evil lair to commit nefarious acts anytime

I just secured an apartment!

So I finished my college classes recently and spent time looking at apartments. I found one that fits me really well and I'm so excited!

There is so much in my life that's gonna change after this, which is scary, but I'll finally be free. No more meetings, or lying, or dealing with my shitty parents. I might finally be okay, ya kno?

Also I now know about about apartment hunting, so if there are any PIMOs or others who have questions feel free to ask. I had to get help from my parents and they purposely gave me scary information to discourage me from moving. So, if you don't have someone to shoot stuff off of I'm here.