... Or Give Me Death.

do you remember all the places we talked about?

they were all just dreams.

weak but still standing.

all the words that flow through me, never ending verbal sea. none of which amount to anything... not near what I think they mean. All these thoughts Above me circling. pondering if, and what if there was... some meaning? What could it be. What will this bring? wounds in mending. shaping me. Tear it down, now build it up. break my heart but you cant break me. no matter how close you think I seem.

END

breathe that breath. Breath it for me. hold it in. let it out. the one I always wanted to take, but never could find it. One that would never come again. leaving a void in my chest. the exhaling sigh of relief. The stillness. The numbness. The crushing inner peace that comes with it. Realization. and with it the knowing that its all over. That it happened. And that itll never happen again. the meaning of what it was all worth. The feeling of all the worlds weight baring down on your chest. That moment of inner peace, now to only be remembered. and to be remembered as fleeting. to long for. To make you wish the chaos had never ended and your desire for that breath never realized. The reminder that life is short. For some suffrage is life. to suffer is to be holy. The only way one can feel the true joy of having, and the loss of losing. and in the end. Its all I have and have ever had. The end was written before the beginning. Realized too late. As I live breathing. There will be no salvation. Just a yearning for what was lost, or never was at all.

Someplace unfamiliar

with every step. 

I move further from this earth. 

This being ive become. 

clouds once looming over head,  

now just a haze someplace below. 

That place. 

One I never knew and will never know. 

Could never know. 

With every wish Ive held my breath. 

let down. 

Im running out, t 

urning blue as that very color fades from it. 

Those calming words you spoke to me. 

That calming voice, 

bringing sanity. 

as there once was… 

again nothing will be. 

Prolonging pain. 

Inducing change. 

a short glimpse at clarity. 

The night provides the day. 

fire, the beauty of the flame. 

And the ashes, 

the perfect place, 

a clean slate. 

by ShawnCoss

broken windows of missed opportunity timelessly hung in a frame of regret.

I cant stand seeing the old, young, weak, loved, sad, strong, ill, infected, handicapped, unwanted, un noticed, lonely, crushed, disfigured, the religious, meaningless, free, the willing or unwilling captive. the too thin, too thick, too rich too poor, too pretty, too ugly, the just right, the in between, the conscious, the dormant, the used and the users. goldy locks and all the bears. the pigs their wolf, the lines, loops and circles. and then I look in the mirror. I wonder where the hell do I belong? between the lines, out of the details, behind the scenes. the dark side of the moon. somewhere in limbo. just waiting for a green light. waiting for my time. but somethings wrong. I must not have heard the whistle. Was I ready? I was set. and there it goes. Turned around to find lights out, curtain drawn and doors closed.

a clean escape.

The water is drawn and Im all alone.

I look at myself as I take off my clothes.

I look pretty decent.

Its the real me that nobody knows.

I know the secrets that nobody can.

nearly flawless canvas on a broken man.

Im thinking of you as Im lowering in.

Warm relaxing water just under my chin.

the last time you made me smile.

The last time you made me laugh.

This is the last time Ill take a bath.

The sleep is coming. Im going to drown.

Im dreaming of you on the way down.

I

I'm not human. I'm animal. Less in your world than mine.