SIN - Blog Posts

(via 池 玲文／媚の全年齢版1/10発売さんのツイート: “#2016自分が選ぶ今年の4枚 元ネタに興奮して落書きしたら海外で軽く炎上してしまった夏の思い出。 元ネタ→KFC x WWE: Sando Slam https://t.co/Wd9hVsbpD9 https://t.co/TZXNiF900C”)

If god want me to stop sinning then he better stop me himself or so help all of us I will dip my Popeyes chicken leg into my Fanta strawberry soda

Hand study with Sukuna

One Speck Spoils the Glass

Awake in a photo. Black and white, head hurts too much for color. Loose black slacks drape over a barely there dress on the floor. Milk on the nightstand in front of a background of wood. My hands rest on my stomach. Is milk on my skin? Man’s milk, perhaps. I want milk. What did I do last night? Rolling over, see what I did. He has a stressed smile, spindly at the ends, emblazoned with a promise. Don’t think I want what he’s offering. A sour taste coats my mouth. Turn over, drink the milk. If only the creamy froth could make my insides in its image. The word “milk” crowns everything. I too would like to be pure white.

Crime of Passion

I saw you, anonymous among the masses, a

passerby spending some time. Come closer,

lead me into artificial intimacy. Body on body,

eat me, crave me. A strange, succulent sweet.

Are we still strangers? I feel I know you so well.

Do you even know my name? Does it matter?

Give me more and who we are won’t matter.

Under these pulsing lights we could be anyone.

I am yours, sweet stranger, just for this song.

Let the beat hide our fears, inhibitions, and

those who are holding us back. The air is hot,

you stick to me. Sweaty sheets and mussed up makeup.

Autumn

This time of year the rain turns cold.

Amber leaves rustle, threatening to fall.

Before long everything smells of golden brown.

The leaves are most striking right before they die.

They dance in the wind, wild horses with no reins,

As vibrant as a painting from the hands of Van Gogh.

The plunge starts when the will to live minus gravity equals zero.

At last the drop. A gust of wind. Finally, ground.

Once again at rest. Beauty: their last request.

Give it back, the lost color, the lost time.

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood.

God, will the cycle ever end?

Cold Shoulder

Sugared words drip from

sultry lips, making his threshold

glow with the red heat of

inner fire as he opens the door

to the jasmine scent in the evening chill.

She is the one from before.

May I come in?

He thinks it’s better she didn’t.

Jezebel in a cashmere sweater

pouts. I thought you left her.

The fire winks out.

Sex and Exes

Bitch, you wanna see me sweat?

You shoulda seen me on top of him.

When you heard the news did you

think you’d won? I hate to break

it to you, but hon, even without my

touch he still thinks I’m good in bed.

And that’s when he’s thinking with

both heads. At least he was the

only one I shed my clothes for. I’m

sorry, I’m sure you needed the ego

boost when you realized he was too

good for you. Sweetheart,

green is not your color.

Track 3

Low beats pound deep beneath our

                    skin so close under wrinkled sheets.

                    Sweat as heat penetrates our bodies,

pressed against each other, gripping,

                    unrelenting. Keep the rhythm of what

                    you’re giving to me. Please. Release the

hate you make me feel.  Least of all

                    I love you. Most of all I love you.

                    Shades of gray but I’m seeing red.

Your touch is more forgiving than any priest.

Addiction

Kiss me until it’s cliché and

I’ll tell you I hate you. Drugs

will kill me. Too bad I’m addicted.

You are the lemon in my tea.

Squeeze into my wounds.

The sting makes me love you more.

Our warmth chills me to the bone.

A yarn sweater unraveling

as you pull mine off in the

backseat of your car,

idling in my empty driveway

when I get home.

This end is a beginning

for better and for worse.

Lover, I cannot stand you.

I will run from this bi-polar

love affair. Run into your arms.

Give me a kiss. Push me away.

Even the unending waves must

come and go with the tide,

pulsing steam on frozen windows.

Poison Apple

The church is cold as I perch on my pew.

The heater is broken again, third time

this winter. The preacher has begun his

sermon, but all I hear is the silence of your

absence.

My phone rings. It should turn it off,

especially since it’s playing our song.

I know it’s you. I shouldn’t answer.

I stand and duck out to the lobby.

I know judgmental looks are following me.

Your hesitant hello send heat coursing

through my frozen veins, awakening

my stifled senses. Brother Phillip’s

voice echoes over the loud speaker,

but his words are as distant as God.

All I hear is your heavy breathing.

Stuck in July

It hits me as I see your face

smiling bright from the photograph,

green eyes shining, blond hair

brushed perfectly to the side.

I resent you for giving up on me.

I always thought things

you would come back.

You and me, together, for better

or worse.

This is worse, but we are not together.

Did you forget that you are the love of my life?

I meant it when I said it then. I mean it now.

I see your smile and I feel

the love and I resent you

for giving up so soon.

I wanted so badly to be yours.

I thought you wanted me badly too.

I guess our want was not enough.

Passing By

His heart took a swan dive,

spelunking into his stomach with

a sickening splash. He could see

the hate in her eyes,

the hurt he’d brought her.

He had to look away.

He sees his stark reflection in the

glass of the door before it

slides silently away, welcoming him

into the forgiving warmth of the store,

warmth he knows he doesn’t deserve.

Track 2

I said I never want to see you again

(with anyone but me). The jazz

from the record player challenges

you to leave. Your words break my

bones (but your kisses are a splint).

Believe me, I can live without you

(if I’m already dead). I swear I’ll

go on if you leave (everyone else

behind). Push and sway in time,

give away your heart (it’s mine).

Forgive and forget is so cliché.

I say never give away the past.

Deja Vu

I’ll make everything up to you, love.

Hands grasping hers, knee against the steering wheel.

The shadow of the steeple blankets them

through the windshield, crossing his heart.

He is Judas, throwing back the silver.

He is not who he was. Neither is she.

And yet they’ve been here before.

Love and Hate

I’d never do anything to hurt you

  On the phone

at 3 AM. The line goes dead

as I wonder if I took hold of you

The way you took hold of me.

You sank into my mind

And made it your home.

  You still captivate me.

My mind is full of you

and all your empty promises.

It’s not fair that you were

Able to grab me so quickly.

You swept me up

Before I had a chance to

See what was happening.

Why do I love you?

Why don’t I hate you?

I wish I could read your mind

Just to know what you think

When I see you walk in

at 3:47, tears in my eyes,

because I know from the

scent of that jasmine perfume

just where you’ve been.

Worst

You ask why I always

Assume the worst

And I tell you that

If I assume the worst

I can’t be disappointed.

But the truth is, I always

Assume the worst

Because all I want

Is for you to tell me

Just how wrong I am.

We-dentity Crisis

You don’t think I love you enough? How the hell

can I love you when I hardly know how to love

me? Who even am I? Why am I asking you,

if you bothered to know you wouldn’t tell me

to love you more when you know I love you

more than anything. Oh, but I guess that’s not

enough for the man who takes everything except

a chance to put someone else first.

Sweetie

Love, your friend:

Sweetie, the roses are all dying now,

They’ve withered and faded beyond repair.

And though you water them I can see how

They still have gone, despite your watchful stare.

Sweetie, the roses have all bowed their heads,

A sign of goodbye in this cold, dark room.

The stems have gone black and their bodies shed

Their petals and leaves far into the gloom.

Sweetie, sometimes I think you are a rose

He’s drying you up petal by petal.

I watch you lie down and as your eyes close,

I see your heart is now withered, brittle.

Sweetie, you know deep inside this is wrong.

Inside your heart is not where he belongs.

Lust Song

Is that love in your eyes, or are you just happy to

see me? Me, naked above you, beneath you,

around you. My bible lies open in the backseat,

Samson and Delilah. My legs clench your waist,

pulling you closer, deeper, further into this

stark truth: there’s no hiding from you now.

Every inch of me bare, my ugly flaws and

rosy lies, sketched across my inner thighs.

Am I good for a game? Love and sex are not

the same. There’s nothing to see here past

the hills and valleys of dimples and curves.

Some never learn.

Christmas eve past found the family on powdered hills,

toboggans dragged behind by stiff fingers.

I was the brave one, the first on my sled. The one who

never held the rope, even when my parents scolded,

told me it’s better to be safe than sorry.

I thought they were silly until I took a tumble,

my face slammed by the packed snow that had

seemed so soft just a moment ago.

I wish I knew how to listen.

Sin (Part Two of To Save A Wretch Like Me)

The second part of the collection, To Save A Wretch Like Me, continues the story of the two lovers once the honeymoon phase has ended. Trust is lost, hurt is gained, and as the lovers turn on each other the path that was once so tempting turns sharply into a dead end.

I want to move so badly but it's a sin right now

There was no way in HELL I was going to miss this opportunity

Noodle doodles