Latest Posts by tsippi - Page 9

This is a Lizzie LDShadowlady Appreciation Post

you have TEN (10) minutes to Appreciate Lizzie LDShadowlady or THE BEES

Hopping on the alliance trend, I just thinks these would be so interesting (Specifically joel, scott, tango)

Everytime a toxic ranchers fan makes Scott out to be some abusive villian an angel loses its wings

Decided to make a more thorough post of how my autism and other co-occurring conditions affect me. Took a bit so I hope you like it.

i love you autistics who don't have special interests

I love you autistics without sensory issues

i love you autistics who are hyposenstive

i love you autistics who are both hypo- and hypersensitive

I love you autistics who hate routine

i love you low empathy autistics

i love you high empathy autistics

I love you autistics with lots of freinds

I love you autistics who are hyper verbal

i love you autistics who make lots of eye contact

i love you autistics who can't mask

i love you autistics who dont know who they aren't behind their mask

i love autistics who are "childish"

i love autistics that have never had a meltdown

i love autistics with catatonia

i love autistics with intellectual disabilities

i love autistics with Anxiety and/or Depression

i love autistics with Psychotic Disorders

i love autistics with Bipolar Disorders

i love autistics with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorders

i love autistics with truma Disorders

i love autistics with Dissociative Disorders

i love autistics with Eating Disorders

i love autistics with Somatic symptoms Disorders

i love autistics with Sleep Disorders

i love autistics with addictions

i love autistics with Personality Disorders

i loved autistic systems

i love autistics with multiple disabilities

i love autistics that can't work

i love autistics that cant leave their house

I love autistics who can't live alone

i love autistics who use AAC

i love poc autistics

i love people with autism who prefer person first language

i love autistics who use function labels

i love autistics with outdated diagnoses

i love autistics who were/are misdignosied

i love self diagnosed autistics

i love all autistic people

autism regression needs to be talked about more.

you can lose so many skills. lose the ability to mask. lose the ability to control stimming. lose the ability to use motor functions. lose the ability to take care our yourself.

it's so hard.. it's so scary.. we just got able to write again and it's so bad. you can come out of regression, you can gain skills back in some areas or all areas affected but it's so hard and you can always be forced back. it's not fair.

My thoughts

You can be smart and be high support needs.

You can be smart and struggle with basic care tasks.

You can be smart and be diagnosed with an intellectual disability, even if you struggle with reading writing and math.

You can be smart and sleep in an enclosed special needs bed for your safety.

You can be smart and need constant supervision.

You can be smart and need your toileting handled by someone else.

You can be smart and still have violent meltdowns.

You can be smart and still need government assistance.

You can be smart even if you were in sped your whole life.

You can be smart and still need a guardianship and/or Conservatorship.

You can be smart and nonverbal, even if you struggle with AAC.

You can be smart even if they told you your IQ is low, IQ is notoriously shit at measuring intelligence and why they use it in diagnostics is beyond me.

You can be smart and all these things and more.

You can be smart even if everyone else in the room will always think that you’re not cause of your disability.

These are all things I have seen or apply to me. Being emotionally smart is also a thing too. When I would have violent meltdowns in sped and would be yelled at or met with traumatic situations due to the teachers not knowing what to do, it was often my intellectually disabled classmates who knew how to talk me and caress me out of it and they were a hell of a lot smarter then the teachers in those moments. Don’t let people think you’re not smart for any reason and if you don’t believe you are take a good look at your strengths and come back.

Lets talk about the not so pleasant parts of Autism

This post is not to say that aren't good things about being autistic or that every autistic will have my experience. Let's just not forget that this is a disability that needs to be taken seriously no matter the person. Any autistic person is welcome to add on the the list.

I'll start with my struggles:

Violent meltdowns

Public meltdowns

VERY poor hygiene the the point of needing teeth removed and hair loss

Constant loneliness and felling depressed from it

Co-occuring conditions like personality disorders, ptsd, depression, psychosis, etc

Mourning the childhood and friends you never had

Blatant bullying

Feeling like you will never make your family proud

Rejected by family, society, medical system, literally everyone

Being taken advantage of (including SA)

Constantly putting yourself in danger

EDs and malnourishment from dietary habits

Knowing that others are purposely leaving you out

Being called homeless and other names for stimming and wearing comfy attire

Sensory issues make you feel like your skin wants to remove itself

Sensory issues making you miss important or fun events

Knowing that you may never be independent

Being belittled

Self injurious stims and low self esteem from it

Embarrassment 101

No privacy

Constant painful state of confusion

Being mocked for how you communicate

Fear of being judged for alternative forms of communication

Needing assistance to just maintain a healthy shower schedule

Having to follow very specific routines to the point of possibly putting yourself in danger if you don't follow them

...and these are just some things. This is the not so pleasant part of what I go through on a daily basis as an autistic. This list can go on forever because autism comes in many "shapes and sizes". Any autistics of any level, if you want, please add on to this list to show that autistic isn't a quirk and can have some seriously hard to live with sides.

Just make a new blog in no way affiliated with your main.

I have jokes I want to make but I know people irl on this site and I don’t want their concern so they’ll have to stay in the cupboard for now

i hope im a positive influence on somebody’s life

Here's to the autistics who are "way too aggressive". Here's to the autistics who get angry easily. Here's to the autistics who are impulsive. Here's to the autistics who have destructive meltdowns. Here's to the autistics who's anger ruins friendships/relationships. Here's to the autistics who can't control their emotions. Here's to the autistics who are bitter and mad. I see you, I love you (platonically), and I hope you have a great day.

It really really frustrates me when some people, disabled or not, say "well I can do [x thing] because I was forced to" in response to someone saying they can't do something.

"Well I had to eat whatever was for dinner or else I would have starved."

Me too! And I became severely malnourished because I could not eat what was put in front of me.

"My parents hit me if I didn't get good grades so I had to."

Mine too! Except I could not get good grades in a mainstream class no matter how hard I tried or what was at stake.

"I have to mask because I need to keep my job."

Me too! Except I can't even pass an interview because of my limited ability to mask.

"I can't have meltdowns around other people or else I'll be bullied/abused/mocked."

Same here! But I can't hold in my meltdowns.

You need to understand that some people will never be able to do the things you can, no matter how hard they're pushed or what the consequences are for not doing it. I'm really sorry that you were forced to talk, but someone else being unable to speak does not mean that they could if there was enough pressure. Stop assuming that everyone who doesn't mask/speak/etc. grew up in a safe and supportive environment. There are people who would (and do!) die because they're neglected and can't learn to just do things themselves.

I really don't want to be the "other people have it worse" guy or come across like I don't think people are allowed to complain about something just because it's less extreme than someone else's situation, but some of you need to have more compassion for people who are not like you. Just be kind. And if someone says they can't do something, don't assume that it's because they were coddled or whatever.

I think that special interests are actually a disabling part of autism

I'm tired of people (allistic and autistic) saying that it's bad that special interests are 'pathologised' because passions are good. This is because that comes from a fundamental misunderstanding of what a special interest is. Special interests are not just things you like a lot, they are 'highly fixated interests abnormal in intensity or focus'. For me (and pretty much everyone with autism I've asked about it), this means that special interests are basically your whole life. For me, my special interest is ASD. I think about autism all the time. It's the only thing I find interesting, and every thought I have can be linked to autism in some way. This is pretty disabling to me because it makes it way harder to talk about and do stuff that isn't related to my special interest.

It makes making friends really hard because, on top of my social challenges, I also don't know how to talk about anything other than my special interest, and I will bring the conversation back to my special interest if I feel comfortable around someone, and just not talk to someone if I don't feel comfortable around them. It also makes doing the things I need to do in life (such as doing work for uni, taking care of myself, cleaning my living space, etc) so much harder because my brain doesn't think it's interesting in the slightest and therefore I have absolutely no motivation to do them.

Maybe my special interests are more extreme than other people's. I wasn't diagnosed with a level, I just got a diagnosis of ASD, but I'm probably on the higher end of level 1, possibly on the lower end of level 2 but I can't really figure that out for myself. However, the ASD diagnostic criteria in both the ICD-11 and DSM-V state that your traits of autism must be causing 'clinically significant impairment' (i.e. they must be disabling) for you to qualify for an ASD diagnosis.

you "support mentally ill disabled people" until I’m too caught up in my stubbornness to think reasonably

you "support mentally ill disabled people" until I feel so threatened by your behaviour that I threaten to hurt you and you act surprised when it’s not a bluff

you "support mentally ill disabled people" until you’re in a position of authority and two children with mental disabilities come to you because someone called one of them the r-slur and you do nothing

you "support mentally ill disabled people" until I’m so codependent and clingy that I can’t go a day without you being there

you "support mentally ill disabled people" until you’ve been intentionally targeting an autistic person with known violent outbursts for over a year with loud, awful noises that they’ve begged you to stop since the very beginning

you say you support mentally ill disabled people until it actually matters

you "support mentally ill disabled people" until you see me as out of touch with reality.

you "support mentally ill disabled people" until I spend hours plucking out my hair, and now I'm covered in scabs.

you "support mentally ill disabled people" until I threaten you when I'm upset.

you "support mentally ill disabled people" until I can't even make myself as simple as toast.

you "support mentally ill disabled people" until I smell terrible because I haven't showered in so long.

you "support mentally ill disabled people" until even once I do shower, I still smell bad because I don't have the skills, strength, nor the willpower to clean myself properly.

you "support mentally ill disabled people" until I yell at you and NEED you not to yell back.

you "support mentally ill disabled people" until I throw hard objects against my wall.

you "support mentally ill disabled people" until I'm semi-incontinent.

you "support mentally ill disabled people" until I'm homicidal.

you "support mentally ill disabled people" until I feel no remorse.

you "support mentally ill disabled people" until I bite.

you "support mentally ill disabled people" until I feel no empathy.

you "support mentally ill disabled people" until I try to hit you with my cane during an episode or meltdown.

you "support mentally ill disabled people" until I throw my AAC at you during an episode or meltdown.

At that point I'm either gross, or a bad person.

I think some of you forgot that autistic people sometimes act strange and say things that are poorly worded and speak with incorrect tone and misunderstand or miss social cues because they are autistic

we usually think of mood as a scale from 1-5, but there's actually a negative scale too, where the frown turns back into a smile, but just a little insane !

Okay so @gtwscratch I’m definitely not hyperfixated on your project X au, and I definitely didn’t spend all of last night coming up with preppy headcannons for your au. <3

anyway here are some of my favourites!

[AGES]

Grian - 20

Scar - 20

BigB - 19

Joel - 19

Lizzie - 18

Ren - 18

Mumbo - 17

Martyn - 16

Scott - 16

Impulse - 16

Pearl - 15

Gem - 15

Etho - 15

Cleo - 13

Jimmy - 12

Tango - 12

Skizz - 11

Bdubs - 10

[SPECIES/SIDE EFFECTS]

Grian - He’s avian/watcher, looks mostly the same.

Scar - Part Iron Golem for his strength! The veins in his arms are silver and are very visible. He walks using a cane :D

Joel - Raccoon

Lizzie - Looks mostly normal, but she doesn’t have any pupils or iris’

Ren - If he transforms to long, attributes of the person he transforms into burns into his skin, so he has attributes of some of his friends!

Martyn - Looks mostly the same, but the tips of his ears are red and his hairs pretty messy

Scott - Little chicken wings sprouting from his back, ankles or head :D

Impulse - His veins glow purple from teleporting to much, as well as his scalera (white part of the eyes) turned black.

Cleo - She looks pretty normal for a zombie, js always stressed.

Jimmy - He forgets how to reappear sometimes, and sometimes different parts of him don’t fully go to full transparency

Tango - Blaze rods are extinguished due to the frost walker, and his hands and feet are covered in blue shards of ice.

Bdubs - Mostly the same, has a comfort blanket djakdhajjsjs, eyebags from nightmares (MY POOR BABY)

Big B - eyes on his arms, cheeks, forehead, back, legs etc. All glow yellow.

[HEADCANNONS <333]

Due to Scar getting iron pumped into his arms, and not his legs his legs forget how to work due to his brain having to concentrate on his arms so much, so the lab gave him a cane to walk, and set up a command to make him lighter and easier to carry (his friends can carry him around too!)

The other seasons are all just silly bedtime stories Mumbo wrote before he died :( Every time a younger member gets sad, they read one! (Imagine there’s way less angst and it’s just sillies instead)

Scar never joked around after the mumbo incident, but when Bdubs started calling Etho and Cleo his parents, Scar pretended they were his parents to, to cheer up Bdubs. That’s how the family started!

Tango and Jimmy have little teenage crushes on each other, Grian and Scar say they’re soulmates and Joel promised to marry Lizzie once they escaped!

When Cleo tries to get Mumbo and Skizz to act normal again, she gets Mumbo to write and Skizz to play with Bdubs (It was caused a few accidents, and Cleo always fixes it, hence why Bdubs views Cleo as his Mum/Mom!)

Ren gives Martyn tips on how to block out background sound, due to being part dog, he always had that struggle when he was younger.

Pearl likes Gem a lot because she can tell Pearl about the sky while astral projecting!

Anyways, that’s it, hope you like them!! :D

Have you ever thought of something in your own worldbuilding that you didn't intentionally plan, but just connect the dots afterwards like "wait, that actually checks out"?

Like in the story of the Book I Am Not Working On, there's the fisher folk. They don't fish, actually, they live in diaspora and nobody really knows why they're called that, anymore. They're more known for their numerous, strict and often seemingly random and nonsensical ritual purity rules, and stereotypically having absurdly large numbers of children. The twist is, they don't actually have more children than any other peoples of the Empire, their purity rules just ensure that they maintain higher levels of physical hygiene in everything to do with childbirth and handling infants - and therefore have a lower infant mortality than other peoples.

The "why do these people have huge families" thing also had another side: Fetishisation. The fisher folk's purity rules also involve no sex outside of marriage, and there's a myth on top of the stereotype that the reason why they seem to have a massive amount of kids is because their husbands are so good in bed that their wives cannot turn them down even if they're 100% done having kids. And since fisher folk do not have sexual relations outside of marriage, no outsider has had enough fisher dick to verify this.

But while they are loyal to partners, they are also polygamous, both ways around. A perfectly normal fisher marriage arrangement may feature a man and his two wives, and his second wife's first husband. One household may cover seven married partners, and all their mutual children. It's considered taboo to pry into which kids are "really" whose, paternity is unknowable and unless you were close enough to the family to know which one of the wives gave birth, the biological mother is none of your business either. Every partner in the marriage is equally a parent to each child born within it.

And this is where my own "wait hold on" comes in. Besides the lower mortality, the illusion of fishers having insane amounts of kids may also partially come from the way their families are structured. If you've just met a group of five people you don't know anything about, and they all claim that they have nine children each, it wouldn't cross your mind that they might all be claiming the same nine children.

Healthcare issues reflected in yaoi ✊😔

One of my favourite parts about autistic people is how you can use other peoples' reflections of them like an echolocation bullshit detector. Like they personally do not need to do shit for this to work, they just passively emit their own autistic vibe that bounces off every surface around them, and you can assess another person's level of self-awareness by how they reflect it back.

"Autistic people do not understand social hierarchy" nope, they understand you're supposed to be an authority here, but they won't politely pretend to respect you if they think you're incompetent.

"Autistic people do not understand humour" nope, they just don't politely pretend to laugh to humour you, and you are simply not funny.

"Autistic people are rude" nope, they just don't think it's polite to lie to you, and don't care about trying to tell you what they think you want to hear instead of telling you what they think.

"Autistic people sometimes have emotional meltdowns for absolutely no reason" nope, you're just insufferable to be around and the person with the lowest tolerance of your shit is simply the canary in the coal mine who breaks first.

The rule in Last Life about players leaving their alliances when they turn red led to a lot of tragic scenes, but one that sticks with me in particular is when Scott turns red.

Scott rolls boogeyman, and immediately he sits down the other non-reds and tells them he's the boogeyman and he isn't going to hurt any of them. He sticks to that too.

All episode Scott helps them get resources, fortify their defenses against reds, escape and protect themselves from red attacks. He has chances to kill the others. He never does. And then, finally, he turns red, a result of his decision not to hurt anyone.

They don't hesitate to tell him to leave.

He isn't even resentful.

Personally I think we should go harder with the water symbolism for Scott.

Limited Life is when it's most obviously drawn attention to, Scott is a being of the sea, it's shown in his skin and referenced a number of times, water very much symbolizes Limited Life Scott and his partnership with (and multiple deaths at the hand of) Martyn.

But that's not the only time Scott is connected to water.

Pufferfish and Axolotls are both aquatic creatures, the former being a very obvious symbol of Scott's relationship with Jimmy in Third Life and the latter being a symbol of his partnership with Cleo and Pearl in Last Life.

Furthermore, in Double Life, Scott and Cleo lived with a river separating them from (most) of the rest of the server, plus powdered snow (snow being frozen water) is a very easy symbol for the breakdown in Scott and Pearl's relationship and the ways they've hurt each other.

And then this season he builds his base on an island very far removed from the other factions with a giant water cave underneath?

The only season I can't immediately think of Scott having some kind of water-based symbolism is Secret Life, but I'm sure there's something.

I just think we as a fandom should use the water symbolism for Scott more outside of Limited Life, because it's definitely there.

Scott, Grian, and Etho team up and it's just increasingly elaborate attempts from each member to protect their teammates before the others can protect them first.

Just had two crying meltdowns and three nonverbal episodes in one day :D. Autism is lovely, school is clearly wonderful for my mental health, and the only things mentally holding me together on a day-to-day basis are the promise that my friends will still be there in the morning, and also my weighted blanket. Life is wonderful and I am doing great! Promise!

I hath finally drawn it

(Also sorry for the crappy quality I had to screen record my drawing and then edit the video and crop it so that it’ll look like jimmy just appears out of thin air)

@raylaismad

ariana griande and sabrina scarpenter

impulsesv they could never make me hate you

martyn inthelittlewood they could never make me hate you

It's being normal(tm) about Scott hours again.

Do you guys ever think about how Scott sees death as a solution? How Scott sees death as peace?

It's the way he finds his way home, the way he makes people like him, the gift he gives his allies, the apology he gives when someone is angry with him.

The players don't have much agency in this game, but if nothing else, Scott always has control over his own body, his life. So..it's become a tool. Something to trade away, something to break apart in a million different ways.

And it's not a big deal (not to him, and certainly not to the ones he does it for)

It'll always come back. Reform the same as ever. Maybe not this season, but he doesn't want to win again anyways (he exists to push his teammates along).

Of course, that's not the whole truth. It's difficult, to dehumanize yourself so much you see your own life as something to give away at a moments notice. Sometimes you see..hesitance, almost, the sparks of whatever part of him knows he doesn't just live to die again.

But death always solves his problems, doesn't it? Scott dies and he gets to see his husband again, Scott dies and he's not alone anymore, Scott dies and he's formed a new alliance, Scott dies so his teammates can win, Scott dies and he's forgiven, Scott dies and at least he was useful.

Scott's (perceived) worth is in his death. This is something the people around him contribute to (often they're just as eager to take as he is to give), but it's even moreso something Scott believes and enforces on himself.

A gift, a sign of love, a way to prove he cares, and a way to assure himself that whoever he's dying for cares too.

Because to bring an animal to slaughter is to prove you value them in some way.