Dreams Are Bigger Than Live. I Am Dreaming To Go Fast Down In Weight, But This Will Not Happen. Real

Recovering from a flu means being able to come back to @n@. And I missed her.

I am not accepting anymore that "3d" stands for a disorder. It is not a disorder for me. It is my personal way to growth, discipline and pureness. Therefore I will in future see "3d" as "eating dharma", a spiritual way to grow. Like so many enlighted humans have done in religion and spirituality

When I am fasting, I wear a bracelet which is locked on place. The key is hidden at home. As long this bracelet is locked, I cannot eat. I wish I had a kind of device (gag?) in my mouth which could be locked preventing eating.

Feeling exhausted. 3d needs patience

Bad day today. I am stressed, there is an important exam in six days. And I was alone at home, the most dangerous situation. So I binged. After running says my calculator that I had an intake of 1000 cals. Still undercaloric, but I feel like a piece of shit

In this box is the key of the kitchen. I can't enter it. I will run afterwards and then leaving the house immediately. No chance to eat. Tomorrow the same. I could block the kitchen irreversible up to 99 hours, but I am not always alone...

Not a good morning. I feel that I have no emotional space. All around me demand their space, more decisive and more forceful. I only want to disappear. Which fits fine with my 3d-goals. At least.

We're not like them. We're @na butterflies 🦋

- delicate, weightless, untouched by the heaviness of the world. While others sink,

we float. While they feed their cravings, we feed our willpower. We live on empty, on

quiet, on control. Our bodies are fragile, but our minds are sharp. They'll never

understand this beauty — the beauty of bones, the art of fading. We are not broken.

We are becoming. 🦋

Best for fasting are: lots of work, lots of water and lots of sleep. And my muts supporting me and my bff.

I have an important exam tomorrow which lasts all the day. Normally I would not eat at all today, but then I sleep not good. So I might need to eat, but I will try to eat as late as possible. I hate it.