There’s This Really Specific Experience In Growing Up With Abusive Parents, Because They Act So Emotionally

How abusive childhood teaches you to stay in abusive relationships:

you have to be obedient and submissive in your childhood if you don’t want to get beaten, you’re taught this is normal in life, so why should you doubt it when it happens in your relationship?

you’re supposed to care about everyone else more than yourself, you’re taught to provide comfort and be minimally or completely non-demanding of other family members, always put yourself last, and this is exactly what abusive partner will demand of you as well, how would you fight it if you’re taught this is just your place in life?

your appearance, interests, skills, achievements, and faults are constantly exposed to criticism, insults, humiliation and ridicule in abusive childhood, and you’re taught it’s normal, how are you supposed to fight it when it happens in a relationship?

you’re humiliated and ridiculed for seeking intimacy or try to express yourself in your childhood, how would you know it’s okay for you to desire understanding, consideration, reassurance and intimacy in your relationship?

if you’re used to being hit, humiliated, and having your objections to it ignored, or even worse, minimized and punished by even worse violence, how are you supposed to defend yourself when it happens in a sexual situation? how would you be able to know it’s wrong for another person to harm you if your parents have been doing it, and they supposedly love you?

if you’re taught to always be grateful that things aren’t worse, always compare yourself to someone who is tortured worse, how are you ever supposed to reach out and get help for being abused? how are you supposed to know when your situation is really, really bad? There’s always going to be someone somewhere in the world tortured worse, and this becomes a reason for you to suffer in silence.

Abusive parents are direct cause of abusive relationships, if your boundaries aren’t destroyed and your sense of what’s acceptable and to be tolerated in your close relationships skewed to allow abuse, you have much easier time rejecting abusive relationships later in life. 

together, soft, shining ✨

no offense but this image looks exactly like finn and rey and i’m counting on yall to use it in all your finnrey aesthetics from now on

edit: here’s where the picture is from

Also, that one guy.... "God forbid they make a movie for men." ?!?!??

**cackling b/c dude utterly misses the point**

BARBIE (2023) dir. Greta Gerwig +⭐letterboxd reviews by men

Abused kid things:

having scars on your body you can’t remember how you got them

gaping holes in memory

feeling distortion in your limbs, your body doesn’t feel yours

always feeling terrified of being called out for a mistake

worrying that you are A BOTHER to everyone at all times

guilt for wanting attention

depriving yourself of attention to cope with guilt and thinking it will “toughen you up”

guilt for receiving attention

feeling uncomfortable whenever things are about you

always feeling seconds from being targeted for someone’s anger

being overly accommodating and still feeling it’s not enough and you will PAY FOR NOT DOING MORE

feeling you’re going insane

trying to blame your own symptoms on yourself

trying to shame yourself just like everyone else has shamed you

feeling life would be better if only you weren’t the way you are

craving for something horribble to happen to you just so you could stop anticipating it

fantasies of abuse + obligatory guilt for having fantasies of abuse

self doubt over weather you actually deserved or wanted to be abused

trying to prove to yourself that you didn’t

not knowing how to prove that to anyone else

trying to soothe yourself by explaining your symptoms away and telling yourself your fears are not real

wondering why you stayed alive this far

Follow me on Instagram 🎻

Be you but remember 👆

“The most disrespected person in America is the Black Woman. The most unprotected person in America is the Black Woman. The most neglected person in America is the Black Woman.”

-Malcolm X (1962)

(Originally made on insta by @michaelabalogun)

[Multiple people have pointed out that the Sojourner Truth speech isn’t accurate. Interesting none of you bother recommending other resources to spread awareness of what it’s like to be a Black Woman while you are pulling attention away from the main point–Black Women need to be recognized. If you have such a problem with how accurate the speech is, just know I looked into it and apparently she approved the second version which also expresses how she’s feeling. Let’s move on or pm me and I can list some alternatives if it’s weighing on your mind.]

The Bird of Luck is so kyooooooot 💗

Please and thank you, lil' cutie!

Because where something comes from matters.

art is not static

big takeaway from 'cant separate art from artist' talk is that some buds have VERY hard time recognizing art is not static and its meaning changes over time. they sarcastically ask 'so if you find out someone is bad their art somehow gets worse?' UH YEAH BUD THAT IS EXACTLY IT

seen things like: 'okay you listen to song and AT FIRST you love it then you learn its by charlie manson you cant just suddenly say now its bad' as if this is gotcha moment. i assure you bud i absolutely CAN suddenly say its bad now thats literally how artistic experience works

BUD WITH EYEROLL: 'so you are saying art changes based on what you know or dont know about who made it like some objective constantly evolving thing just because of how it makes you feel?' CHUCK: 'yes now you are just describing art now over and over again as if you are making a point'