Latest Posts by underwait-cat - Page 5

The way Lemony Snicket sat down cracked his knuckles and wrote the most trying, frantically frustrating , anxiety riddled novels back to back coming to ruin my 5th grade recess completely unbothered baffles me to this day.

me because she NEVER FUCKING APOLOGIZED EVEN TO THE END SHE NEVER SAID SHE WAS SORRY FOR WHAT SHE DID TO BOKSU

Little Archons!

| More artworks |

Venti and Zhongli have a bond that can only be formed from committing war crimes and multiple atrocities against humanity together.

After going through the Archon war and watching/actively participating in the eternal imprisonment and/or murder of most gods until there were only a handful left: wow I’m so glad we’ll never have to contribute to such a mass slaughter ever again.

Roughly 2,500 years later, in Khaenri’ah: oh no

You cannot tell me that wouldn’t create the weirdest relationship ever from an outsiders perspective.

Zhongli pulls Venti away from some asshole who keeps trying to hit on Venti and isn’t taking no for an answer. Everyone watching commends him because he’s watching out for his partner, but Zhongli doesn’t get why. Because in reality Zhongli’s seen Venti decapitate someone for the same reason a few hundred years ago and he really just didn’t want to have to clean blood out of his jacket.

If you ask him about weapons Venti is surprisingly extremely knowledgeable. People assume despite his looks he must be extremely familiar in wielding each of the weapons talked about. But the actual only reason he knows all of it is because during periods of war Zhongli would drone on for hours about different benefits of each weapon an their subtypes for different kinds of battle.

They have each thrown entire mountains/typhoons at each other not as threats or genuine attempt to hurt each other. More so because they’re both multiple millennium old gods and that’s just their equivalent of play fighting.

When they’re together They’ll casually mention something about the archon war, to people that know who they are, like it wasn’t even a big deal. And the people they were talking to have to reevaluate their entire image of the two they made in their head because whatever the most sadistic thing they could think of couldn’t even compare to what the two just admitted to.

I don’t know I just think people should play with the fact these two are VERY old and literal gods who’ve witnessed most of Tevyats history and development more

Very brave of me to make a set of illustrations that's 90% hands

Anyway. This is about my personal theories/headcanons about the vision requirements

EDIT: I made a post elaborating on my theories/headcanons! Check it out if you wanna know a bit more :D

EDIT (again): Just so you know (bc ppl keep mentioning it in the tags), I am well aware Archons don't personally give out visions😅 The Archons' hands are supposed to be more symbolic, since it IS heavily implied they have a subconcious affect on who gets one, even if they don't actually have any active say in it

The barbie movie would KILL her

have been saiki-pilled as of late

been rewatching saiki with some friends

when you hear the premise of saiki k is "a loner boy with amazing psychic powers is constantly hounded by people desperately wanting to be his friends" its easy to assume that its because they think his powers are awesome, but... they dont even know about his powers. they just all love his autism swag so much that theyll start crying and screaming and throwing up if hes not around

saiki k doodles bc i watched it 10 times last month

stupid idea became a real

when you hear the premise of saiki k is "a loner boy with amazing psychic powers is constantly hounded by people desperately wanting to be his friends" its easy to assume that its because they think his powers are awesome, but... they dont even know about his powers. they just all love his autism swag so much that theyll start crying and screaming and throwing up if hes not around

They are siblings for me.

PROTAG is MISERABLE!

I love the idea that Batman has a Dad Instinct™. Like he just knows when one of his kids is in trouble! Whatever it is, it can be because of a villain or because they are causing mischief he just knows!

It can obviously be infuriating for the batkids, like he's in the middle of an important meeting with the Justice League and suddenly he just stops talking and goes in his personal comms and starts to bicker with Nightwing saying "No, you can't go bust that cartel alone. I don't care that you and Jason are fighting you are going to take him with you-" and you can hear a distinct "But daaaad!!" from Nightwing.

Or he just says "Don't you dare." when one of his kids is in the Watchtower with him and starts looking at Flash with mischievous eyes.

Or even better he starts to treat some of League members just like he treats his kids! Like "Don't touch that." when Green Lenten takes a step too close to one of the buttons near the windows (he was going to open the windows when the sun is directly hitting on said windows, probably temporarily blinding some people). Or "57 boxes of Oreos is too much even for you, my friend." when Martian Manhunter looks at the kitchen again (he eats too much of the stuff and is starting to become a problem).

Or when he looks at our baby Billy Batson and he has a feeling that he needs to take care of him but that's Marvel! And he's clearly a grown man! Right? (It doesn't help that he just can't find anything on him)

He cares too much for his on good

“people in the JL hate Batman because he’s so strict” nah. people in the JL hate Batman because all of their sidekicks wanna hang out and train with the batfamily and come home asking questions like “so when are you going to get a plane?” and “why don’t you know how to do [complex judo move]?”

So, I know the fandom (myself very included) love to talk about JLA playing fuck marry kill with Brucie Wayne as an option...but I offer an alternative. Bruce overhears a conversation between Clark, Diana, and Hal.

Clark: No I mean if we're playing, I'd fuck you Diana, obviously it would be a wonderful night--

Diana: and all the way into the morning, obviously

Clark: Obviously. And I'd marry Batman, so sorry Hal, I guess you gotta go.

Hal, outraged: Marry Bats???? Over Me???

Clark: Yeah, hello, have you seen him? No offense and all, but if you get the chance to sleep with wonder woman you kinda have to. And if I marry Batman I get sweet gadgets, nerdy banter, awful coffee, and I get to use the little ears on the cowl as handles while I bend him over the breakfast table every morning.

(plot twist, Clark totally knows Batman's there and this is his extremely weird and roundabout way of flirting)

just imagine how stressed the jl would be after finding out that bruce has a biological son. he's batman, so of course, he's not going to get laid, right? then he introduces the new robin that acts and looks a lot like him and the jl malfunctions

Diana: So, he's not adopted?

Bruce: No, he's my son

Clark: How did you? How can you? How did this happen?

Hal: What Clark's trying to ask is, how did you get laid?

Clark: Especially with you brooding all the time

Bruce: It just happened

Diana: *Picks up Damian* He's quite cute

Damian, about to stab Diana: I am not cute

Diana, who is used to kids with a sword due to being raised on Themyscira: Oh and he's a warrior by heart

Bruce, sitting through the mandatory psych eval he created for the Justice League that Clark is also making him take:

Hal Jordan, underlining something on his clipboard: “Name a weakness.”

Bruce: “All of my questions sound like insults.”

Hal:

Bruce:

Hal: “…can you give an example?”

Bruce: “Can you not think of one yourself?”

"justice league doesn't know batman has kids" and by some freak incident, they end up meeting them all at once, after never having one single sneaking suspicion of batman being a family guy.

you've got every batkid + justice league member in the same room, and bruce tries for a total of 6 seconds to diffuse the situation before giving up.

there's bats left right and centre making completely false claims about how their family came to be, just to stir shit. also purposely trying to ruin batman's 'stoic and mean' reputation as best as they can.

jason and steph are telling everyone that they're all bio kids, and bruce does try and correct that one (some of those kids don't even belong to him in a non-bio way!!) but not before tim pipes up and goes 'well actually it depends what you count as biological, he grew me in a lab'.

dick's taking full advantage of the JL's perception of batman being oh so impressionable in the moment, and is telling stories of his childhood + batman raising his younger siblings, making him out to be the softest guy to ever exist (completely on purpose). cass is nodding along next to him, and making sure whenever she adds a comment that she uses the word 'dad' instead of batman just for the extra domestic flare.

babs and jason are explaining how they all consider themselves bats, in a way that would make anyone believe that they're in a cult. bruce is standing amidst it all, an immovable object, with dick's arm on his shoulder, and damian huddled into his side (ALL for dramatic flare. they need the JL to know that he's. just a guy with kids).

bring your kid to work day 

★bonus:  he’s impressed 

There is a sort of trope that I've noticed in DC media where Batman is infinitely stranger from anyone else's perspective than his own. In his own comics and movies and such his motives are explained to you, you have his inner monologue, but the moment you put him in someone else's story, you're met with a general vibe of 'what the fuck is wrong with that man? is that a man? might be a demon.'

And this 100% extends to the batkids.

Dick? The man has no bones. From an outside perspective, he leaps before he looks, grinning and laughing as be backflips off buildings with seemingly no plan, only to catch himself with a grapple at the last minute. He's charming and warm until he can't be, and then he's terrifying, with a glare and temper that rivals the Bat's.

Jason? He has deadly aim and a steady hand. He's hulking and strong, but he's also silent. He still moves like a bat, like he was taught to in his Robin days, despite the fact that he's taller and broader than Bruce now. The Red Hood could appear out of the shadows behind you, no matter how safe you are, and you wouldn't be able to do anything to stop it.

Tim? He's smart. They're all smart, but he's smart smart. And his ethics and intelligence don't always mesh. He could tear down any security system with frightening efficiency, then rebuild it better. Logically, he's always five steps ahead.

Damian? He's the most obviously terrifying. He's small, and angry, and he has a sword that he knows how to use with frightening efficiency. He's as viscous as his father can be, but with a temper that more unchecked. He learned how to kill before he learned how to protect.

Duke, Cass, and Steph also fall under this, but I don't know enough about them to make accurate judgements.

Anyway, what I'm saying is the rogues and the Justice League alike fear the Bats, and for good reason.

We have Bruce doing Good Dad™ things but what about Neutral Dad™ things

Mowing the lawn while drinking a cup of coffee

Standing outside and staring at an oncoming storm

Sneezes that get louder with each kid he adopts

"Hold this light while I fix this"

"Do NOT touch the thermostat"

Falling asleep on the recliner while watching a show that he'll pretend to hate when the kids ask about it

Matching cargo shorts, socks, and sandals with Clark every time they're in Smallville

A funny thought just came to me, so here's a new writing prompt:

The Justice League doesn't think that Batman has a civilian identity. For the most part, he only ever comes out at night, adding to the nocturnal rumors, but he has been seen during the day when there are huge problems or bigger rouge attacks.

And, because the JL don't think he has a civilian identity, they naturally assume that none of the other Gotham Vigilantes do, either. Signal, the only consistent day shift, is obviously a different breed than the rest. All of the others are nocturnal.

Extra points if they think they're a group of cryptids.

One day, Bruce and Tim are needed to help set up at WE for a press conference. One that Lois Lane is covering. At the same time, the JL Is having a meeting. Normally Dick would put on the Batman suit, but Nightwing is needed at the meeting, too. They can't say that Batman is off world, because all of those trips are logged and followed by the Lanterns. So, the next logical thing to do is for Nightwing to tell the JL that Batman and Red Robin were needed as civilians, but he will make sure to pass the information on to them, as well as record the meeting.

"Batman doesn't have a civilian identity," Is the response he gets. "None of you do, right?"

Nightwing, for all his training, doesn't react outside of his smile getting slightly bigger. "You don't think we have secret identities?"

"No, we kinda just assumed you all just hid away in a cave or something when you weren't needed or on duty."

Oh, these sweet summer children. Nightwing is trying very hard not to laugh at them. "We, we do have secret identities, we don't do nothing when we aren't in costume."

"Are you sure?" That's the Flash. "'Cause I'm pretty sure we'd recognize you guys out of costume." Kudos to him for being so confident about that. "Most of you only have tiny masks over your eyes. That's not enough to cover an identity."

Nightwing takes a glance at Superman, not that anyone can see his eyes move behind the domino mask. The alien's eyes have shifted left.

"I've been to Gotham plenty of time," Green Arrow speaks up, "I know I haven't seen everyone in the city, but I'm pretty sure I'd recognize your build. It's pretty distinct."

Bold. All of the Wayne Clan have met Green Arrow in and out of costume. They've actually met most of the JL in and out of costume. Should he tell them? Nah, that's not funny. He can't wait to tell the others.

Green Lantern: You know, most Superheroes are cornered into the job by moral obligations because of how powerful they are, but... aren't you just like, a normal guy? Do you ever wonder what your life would be like if you gave up the vigilante life to just take it easy?

Batman: Well--

Nightwing, suddenly vaulting into the conversation from across the room: No, no, NO, the last time we pretended to be a normal family for an hour, we played Trivial Pursuit and it ended with an arrow through the living room TV. None of us even fight with arrows. We're freaks that need to fight crime, don't take that away from us.

my favorite thing in Justice League fics is when a character fucks up so badly that their only option is to go talk to Batman. And they still — still — take a moment to figure out how desperate they are before going.

Bruce has such “don’t bother me, I’m working, also why the hell would you do that” disapproving dad energy. It’s stunning.

AU Where the Justice League forms as usual except for one slight difference where Bruce just so happens to have been the one superheroing for the longest. (Excluding Diana, who got up to it in World War 1 and then mostly didn't while she learned about Man's World)

Bruce helps form the Justice League, ignoring all of the comments as they come to the sudden realization that Gotham's baby cryptid story is actually a man in a very intimidating armored suit who can and will break your arm if you cause problems for him. They are unaware that this is not the first team he's led, and actually he's used to teams full of mostly teenagers who also happen to be his children. This should be easier, this team is primarily adults.

He realizes rapidly that he doesn't understand these people.

His kids take bonding activities to mean learning a dozen different ways to break someones leg. That doesn't fly with these people. And that is most of Bruce's ideas, hell when he was a kid Alfred took every opportunity to get him out of his room and mostly that was with the agreement that Alfred would teach him how to defend himself. He's come by it honestly.

This team is not easier. They have more drama than when his house was actually full of kids. It's insane. He doesn't know what to do with it, usually he just sent the kids to their rooms or grounded them from patrol. That doesn't work here.

He comes to a strange crossroads. That falls apart when he forgets who he's working with and snaps at Hal with a full room of heroes that the next person to throw a punch or an insult without a reason too will be sparring with him.

A long standing rule in the batcave that worked two fold to prevent infighting between the kids and too ensure that they were well and truly trained.

It works wonders. No one says a word out of line for the rest of the debrief. Bruce becomes the unofficial mediator of the league over Clark because anytime he walked in on a fight it suddenly became 10 times more civil out of sheer terror of what he'd do to them in a sparring match.

Eventually they actually meet his kids. Well, one kid.

Half way through a mission (one of the rare ones in Gotham) the Bat comes to a complete stop at the edge of an alley. Every single league member on the team comes to a stop behind him. Slowly from the shadows of the alley a man in a red helmet stalks out to greet them.

"You don't call, you don't write"

"Red Hood."

"Don't Red Hood me! We've been worried sick!"

"I was at the cave last night."

"You didn't answer my texts B. You always answer my texts."

Somehow it ends with big and scary following them through the rest of the mission with a running commentary of how much Bats has let him down in his failure to respond in a timely manner to a text send less than an hour before he ran into them in the alley. It only ends when Red Robin shows up.

And even then it only ends because Hood can't keep himself from throwing a punch and Bruce has to snap at him that if he throws another one they're sparring when they get home.

And by god is Jason giving up the chance to punch his brothers.

Can someone write a fic where Bruce is on a JL mission and they somehow get a baby that they need to take care of until they find their parents. And all the JL members just cannot stop this baby from crying (this is before Clark has Jon so he’s pretty clueless with babies still) and eventually Bruce is like, “give them to me.”

And the JL is like “uhh, we don’t know if we should trust BATMAN with a baby, but at this point… fuck it.” And hand the baby over to him.

And Batman tucks the baby into his chest and softly bounces them, talking to them gently in a deep rumbly voice. “It’s okay sweetheart. Shhh, you’re safe.” And eventually, the baby doesn’t just stop crying, but falls asleep.

And the JL just stand there, gobsmacked. Because what the fuck??? Why is the Batman so good with babies??? And the rest of the mission Batman just has the baby because a) they don’t want them to wake up and start fussing again. And b) because Batman looks genuinely happy (as happy as Batman can be without deeply horrifying the JL).