would encourage those interested in feminist/radical feminist/materialist feminist literature and ebooks to consider buying directly from spinifex press instead of amazon! it is a bit more costly to do so but there is probably no other publishing company with as extensive of a feminist catalogue and mission entirely and explicitly dedicated to highlighting and dismantling sex-based oppression for women, girls, gays, and lesbians. fiction, non-fiction, black authors, native authors, asian authors, lesbian authors, bisexual authors, mothers, child-free women, atheists, the religious, spiritual women, academics, doctors, lawyers, elders, artists, young women, trafficking survivors, abuse survivors, poetry, anthologies, critical analyses, vintage works, medical histories, memoirs, and so much more all through a [radical] feminist lens. a beautiful collection of diverse feminist thought, theory, and history. even if you can't buy anything, join their free newsletter and zoom meetings!
plus, with a changing technological landscape like ours it's a good idea to immortalize these books in physical print in our own libraries. how many movies can no longer be found on any streaming site or in any library with their physical copies going for hundreds of dollars on secondhand sites?
preserve your media and support a feminist company that still has its claws and fangs!
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in fandom, "who's the top and who's the bottom" is heteronormativity to the highest degree. it is quite literally a progressive, "queer" way of asking "who's the man and who's the woman in the relationship?"
the top is always the more masculine one, big and strong, owning the bottom, doing the penetrating. the bottom is always the more feminine one, referred to as "wife," "princess," "babygirl," being owned by the top, being penetrated. and 9 times out of 10, this top/bottom bullshit is in reference to a M/M pairingโ you want a traditional heterosexual couple but you're so incredibly misogynistic you can't even bear the presence of a woman even if she is being degraded, so you make the "bottom" take her place.
i really like the definition of โadult human femaleโ because it says โthats all it is. its not femininity, makeup, submissiveness, softness, anything. all it is is biology. the rest is up to the individualโ
one thing i dont think we talk enough about is how pretty much every sex ed resource for lesbian teens tells them they should be open to sex with male partners
i remember being 14/15 and googling how lesbian sex worked and just being confronted with site after site telling me that lesbian sex sometimes includes a penis and it was uninclusive and closed minded to think otherwise :)))
i guarantee you no girl or woman searching for lesbian sex ed resources is looking for advice on how to blow a guy or have piv intercourse, theyre looking for advice about sexual relationships between biologically female partners
i think people underestimate how ashamed and broken it made me and other lesbians feel to read that over and over. after reading those resources i felt so hopeless that i tried to force myself to be asexual because it was the only socially acceptable way to rule out having a male partner
constantly adding these ~helpful reminders~ is like telling lesbians that they just haven't met the right guy yet, and there is no context in which they should forget it
some of these were government affiliated websites insisting that exclusive homosexuality didnt exist, or at the very least that it was unthinkable and unpeakable
its a very impactful and insidious form of homophobia
She's not "celebrating her sexuality" she's objectifying herself for the sake of male sexuality. Ask yourself, when straight male performers want to "celebrate their sexuality" on stage or in music videos, do they put on little booty shorts and a crop top? Do they cake their faces in makeup and shave their legs? No, they dress comfortably, and bring out women who are attractive to them dressed all degradingly. So I guess to answer your question, she can express her sexuality in a less male-gazey way by dressing comfortably, and letting the men parade around the stage half naked in degrading little outfits.
I don't know what makes me sadder; the bimbofication to become famous, or the fact that it worked.
I just saw one of the many ways that rape culture is subtley normalized in media.
I won't say what show I was watching because I don't want any spoilers, but the main character is a shifty guy who's meant to have a good heart regardless, and we're meant to sympathize strongly with him. He tricked a drunk woman into having sex with him by telling her a direct lie about who he was. She woke up horrified at being lied to and he went through his morning routine undisturbed by her outrage or her abrupt departure. The writers try to make it an amusing and light-hearted situation, like, "Boys will be boys! What a scoundrel, how funny, right?"
It isn't funny. It's sexual assault.
Imagine being the sort of "person" who lies to someone in order to get them to sleep with you with the understanding that they wouldn't come near you if you were honest about yourself; knowing that you were subverting their right to be selective about sexual partners and treating them like an object for your use rather than a human being who has the right to decide who has access to their bodies. Yet this is what this man did, and the show just moved on like it was no big deal instead of addressing what it actually was: a sign of a soulless, exploitative sexual predator, and someone no one should be sympathizing with.
There are SO many examples of this. Did anyone ever see those dumbass movies from the early 2000's, Superbad and 40-Year Old Virgin? The former is entirely about two teenage moids trying to get their classmates drunk so they'll be incapacitated enough to have sex with them, fully acknowledging that the girls would regard it as a mistake...
"๐ฌ๐ผ๐ ๐ธ๐ป๐ผ๐ ๐๐ต๐ฒ๐ป ๐๐ผ๐ ๐ต๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ฟ ๐ด๐ถ๐ฟ๐น๐ ๐๐ฎ๐ '๐๐ต ๐บ๐ฎ๐ป, ๐ ๐๐ฎ๐ ๐๐ผ ๐๐ต๐ถ๐-๐ณ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ฒ๐ฑ ๐น๐ฎ๐๐ ๐ป๐ถ๐ด๐ต๐, ๐ ๐๐ต๐ผ๐๐น๐ฑ๐ป'๐ ๐ต๐ฎ๐๐ฒ ๐ณ๐๐ฐ๐ธ๐ฒ๐ฑ ๐๐ต๐ฎ๐ ๐ด๐๐? ' ๐ช๐ฒ ๐ฐ๐ผ๐๐น๐ฑ ๐ฏ๐ฒ ๐๐ต๐ฎ๐ ๐บ๐ถ๐๐๐ฎ๐ธ๐ฒ!"
The latter is about a man getting advice as to how to manipulate women into sex, which in one scene involves targeting women who are so inebriated that they're stumbling out of the bar. The men in the movie compare "drunk bitches" to gazelles and themselves to tigers, openly admitting that they're predators.
"๐๐น๐น ๐๐ผ๐ ๐ด๐ผ๐๐๐ฎ ๐ฑ๐ผ ๐ถ๐ ๐๐ผ ๐๐๐ฒ ๐๐ผ๐๐ฟ ๐ถ๐ป๐๐๐ถ๐ป๐ฐ๐๐. ๐๐ผ๐ ๐ฑ๐ผ ๐๐ผ๐ ๐๐ต๐ถ๐ป๐ธ ๐ฎ ๐๐ถ๐ด๐ฒ๐ฟ ๐ธ๐ป๐ผ๐๐ ๐ต๐ผ๐ ๐๐ผ ๐๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ธ๐น๐ฒ ๐ฎ ๐ด๐ฎ๐๐ฒ๐น๐น๐ฒ? ๐๐'๐ ๐๐ฟ๐ถ๐๐๐ฒ๐ป, ๐ถ๐'๐ ๐ฐ๐ผ๐ฑ๐ฒ ๐๐ฟ๐ถ๐๐๐ฒ๐ป ๐ถ๐ป ๐๐ต๐ฒ๐ถ๐ฟ ๐๐ก๐, ๐๐ฎ๐๐ "๐ง๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ธ๐น๐ฒ ๐๐ต๐ฒ ๐ด๐ฎ๐๐ฒ๐น๐น๐ฒ." ๐๐ฒ๐น๐ถ๐ฒ๐๐ฒ ๐ถ๐ ๐ผ๐ฟ ๐ป๐ผ๐, ๐ถ๐ป ๐ฒ๐๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ ๐บ๐ฎ๐ป ๐๐ต๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ฒ'๐ ๐ฎ ๐ฐ๐ผ๐ฑ๐ฒ ๐๐ฟ๐ถ๐๐๐ฒ๐ป ๐๐ต๐ฎ๐ ๐๐ฎ๐๐ "๐ง๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ธ๐น๐ฒ ๐ฑ๐ฟ๐๐ป๐ธ ๐ฏ*๐๐ฐ๐ต๐ฒ๐."
This all plants the idea that there is nothing serious about men preying on women; that it's even funny in it's own way. A lot of times, these men even have their happily ever after (or something closely resembling it) with the woman they preyed upon. I'm not even ๐ต๐ณ๐บ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ to think of examples and tons of them are crashing down on me. Another is the Breakast Club, where John Bender insulted Claire the entire time, made her cry, attempted to fucking ๐ด๐ฆ๐น๐ถ๐ข๐ญ๐ญ๐บ ๐ข๐ด๐ด๐ข๐ถ๐ญ๐ต ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ under the table...
And yet at the end she kisses him multiple times and gives him her diamond earring.
Why? WHY? It makes me want to scream, cry, and vomit! I feel such despair at all of this because it's EVERYWHERE. The message of "Yeah just let men do what they want to you okay, it's normal, dont be such an uptight bitch, it's just what guys do and it's not a big deal" is all over the place and it's no wonder women have such a low standard for decent behavior from males. It's intentional. You have a million shitbag males in movies and shows who you're told to like and to root for while they abuse women who adore them at the end, after all they've done to them. Why would you not believe this is all normal when you're seeing it wherever you turn?
Sometimes it feels like such a huge problem, so all-pervasive, that I just want to throw in the towel. But ALL through my most impressionable years, no one pointed out any of this to me. No one said, "Look at what they're trying to make you believe is normal. Isn't that disgusting and pathetic?" ๐๐ฐ ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ฆ talks about it, and I wish someone had! So if even ONE woman becomes more vigilant about the messages she's being fed through these storylines, and the way these situations are portrayed as normal, funny or charming, and these characters as "good guys" when actually they are ๐ด๐ฆ๐น๐ถ๐ข๐ญ ๐ฑ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ฅ๐ข๐ต๐ฐ๐ณ๐ด and NONE of this is normal or okay...
Then it was worth writing a post about.