I Want To Love Myself More This New Year. I Want To Feel Daisies Growing In My Bones. I Want To Clean

straight people will never understand how therapeutic it is to hear the words “her girlfriend” or “his boyfriend” or how I ascend to heaven when I hear “her wife” and “his husband”

i’m gonna say it.

there is nothing wrong with you for liking cartoons, comic books, cosplays, dolls, nickelodeon, cartoon network, superheros, disney, fanfiction, video games, drawing, basically anything that is label to be “kids stuff.”  life is too damn short to be boring; who the hell wants to just be into things are acceptable by adult standards. 

enjoy the things that make you happy, and if it’s something that people view as immature and childish you should not be ashamed. you are fine the way you are.

The things the Hargreeves each say to Vanya in the brain eating scene match up perfectly with how they see themselves/who they are.

Klaus accuses her of faking it, when we see a performance from him for the entirety of the show. He fakes almost everything the family sees from him.

Luther accuses her of not trying hard enough, and we know that Luther thinks he wasn't a good enough Number One. He pins this on himself completely.

Allison accuses her of using her powers too much and not being able to handle the consequences. This TOTALLY follows with her s1 plotline and her decision to use and use of her powers in s2.

Ben says that she isn't ready and it isn't her fault. This is how Ben views his death, we know from s1.

Diego and Five don't say anything because they don't REALLY know themselves at all. These two have declined getting to know themselves in favor of dedicating themselves to saving others. Diego literally says he doesn't have daddy issues. Diego. And Five does not know who he is without an apocalypse, or what to do with himself when it's over.

I think this is interesting. I dunno. I don't think any of these people (except Ben) ACTUALLY feel this way about Vanya. It's an analysis on them, done by Vanya in Vanya's head, but because Vanya is the way she is, it gets directed at her.

the illusion was always that we just had to do it. just “do” the homework. the meal prep. the college application. just write the email, send the homework, follow up with that interview, clean your room. these are easy things, one-click things, two-hours-max things. we had so many people in our lives shout it at us. “why didn’t you just do it!” 

often my answer was a soft i don’t know. an i-got-tired when actually it was more like - i couldn’t. i just couldn’t. it feels like everything is covered in snow. don’t you know that i’m mad at myself too? i want this stuff just as much as you do. i want to live in a clean house with good food and have an okay job and know i’m not disappointing the people i’m coming home to. i don’t like missing opportunities and having to scramble in a panic about last-minute things.

i’m a fully grown adult. she is posing for a pic on insta. if you want a life like this, go out and get it. it’s 2pm and i haven’t eaten breakfast. i am staring at the space where i should be working. 

her video has a laugh. “just do it!”

Today I learned

This is for all the writers who:

Have never finished a project

Don’t have publishing as their big goal

Write purely for enjoyment

Can’t/don’t stick to an idea

Don’t put their work out for people to read

Write purely as a hobby

You are just as valid and talented as writers who have been published, or have finished projects. You are still a writer, even if you don’t have other people read your work. You don’t have to pursue the same goals and have similar accomplishments to other people to be valid as a writer.

You are valid, you are important, and you are talented.

Write that story because you wanna see it created. Because you wanna read it.

Because in a month or a year or maybe ten years, whenever you come back to read what you wrote, it’s like rediscovering a gift you left for yourself. Like hearing the whispers of a younger you telling a story that feels both new and familiar, wondrous and nostalgic.

So go ahead. Write that story. Write that story, for the you in the future. 📖✨

When Five first jumped into the future and found himself in the apocalypse and found his siblings’ bodies at the mansion, he wouldn’t have found Ben’s body but wouldn’t know why. 

Do you think he stayed there a while, picking through the rubble, searching for a body that wasn’t there, just to make sure, wondering what it meant? Do you think that for a while he held on to this tiny crazy speck of hope that maybe, someway, somehow, Ben had survived? His body wasn’t at the mansion so maybe he’s still out there. Maybe he wasn’t alone, maybe he had one sibling left if he could just find him somehow. 

But then of course he would have found Vanya’s book. And he learned that Ben wasn’t the lucky one, just the opposite. And Five’s smart and he’s practical. From the beginning he’d known that there was almost no chance of Ben still being alive. He’d just wanted so very badly to believe. 

That’s a turning point for Five. That moment when he knows for certain that his brothers and sisters– all of them– are dead. And he is utterly alone. And the only thing that matters, is changing that. 

Why must my feelings be "rational"? Is it not enough to sit quietly in my hawaiian shirt, deranged?

it’s honestly crazy how many ppl u meet in your early twenties who have never been in love or been in a relationship or had sex and then you’re like oh it’s actually normal and social milestones actually mean nothing bc everyone is different and has different experiences. cool!