When Five First Jumped Into The Future And Found Himself In The Apocalypse And Found His Siblings’

it’s honestly crazy how many ppl u meet in your early twenties who have never been in love or been in a relationship or had sex and then you’re like oh it’s actually normal and social milestones actually mean nothing bc everyone is different and has different experiences. cool!

The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002) dir. Peter Jackson

Vanya and Diego, 1994

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1) this is so inspired by @the-rivendell-librarian and @himbohargreeves for the whole baby hargreeves wholesome family idea.

2) this is also from an au that never lifted off because I cannot write, but I also can’t draw babies.

i just found them utterly delightful this season

Actually life is beautiful because the sound I make while trying to breathe around hot food sounds like my dog trying to eat an apple. When I yawn my cat tries to put his face in my mouth like a little dentist man and when he yawns I put my finger in his obligate-carnivore trapzone and we both know he will not hurt me. When I do not fold my clothes, they do not hold it against me.

I am demonstrably sad, and lonely, and full of fear. But there are other people who will hold my hand, who will point out the hawk overhead, who will give you That Look in a public place. The other day at a coffee shop a child said "look! It's snowing!" so all of us strangers went to go look out the windows. It wasn't the first snow and it won't be the last but wasn't it lovely, like that?

How wonderful to live in a world where birds and frogs both say beep! How wonderful to have an ocean of beautiful sharks with their dinosaur teeth! How wonderful the moon and her changing face, how wonderful the bees and their dancing to communicate, how wonderful shrimp and their forbidden layers of vision! How wonderful, you, and what you will give the world! The way we love things enough to spend entire blogs devoted to them? How people will let me explain my Pokemon team to them? How we will both jump at the scare in the movie, how we laugh so loudly, how it feels to give someone your baking? How wonderful to be alive. I am sorry for forgetting.

This is the process of getting better. With wonderful people and wonderful strangers and wonderful friends: I am getting better, slowly. Thank you, whoever you are. In some way, you've been wonderful, and left a wonderful place in the world to ripple out to me. In some small way - isn't it beautiful - I promise, you've been helping.

it goes like this:

waking up was one of the hardest things for me to do. at least, the most dreaded. and then you happened to me, and I most looked forward to going to sleep, because I knew I’d wake up to messages from you—because unless I had work, you were the one who always woke up before me.

and it was a little pathetic, but I’d go to work and text you all through lunch break and I would smile at my phone like all those stupid, lovesick girls in movies and my coworkers would ask, “oooooh is there a boy?” all suggestively, and I would shake my head and say, “my friend sent me a funny meme” because that’s easier than explaining that talking to you lit my chest on fire and I loved every second of it.

and you collected all these tiny details about me, and I you, which is a weird thing to live with in the aftermath. because I know you hate hot sauce and you were flower girl at your aunt’s wedding and you’ve never seen Matilda, and I used to pull those facts off the shelf and we’d laugh or reminisce or make plans, and now they just sit there and collect dust and there’s nothing I can do with them but know and know and know.

and the things you could do with everything you know about me. where do they go? do they sit inside your chest, collecting dust, too? or did you throw them out?

and now there is no one I talk to until I fall asleep and no one I wake up to, either. and if I’m smiling at my phone, it’s usually just a stupid meme that brings me momentary laughter but not the all-encompassing joy you used to bring me. and my chest is a lot less bright and a lot more empty, with the shape of you crawling around inside it.

and I keep telling myself that I will stop missing you and my life will close up around the space you used to take up. but it hasn’t yet.

Today I learned