Latest Posts by waitingrm - Page 5

okay im on anon but only because this take is too hot but; ben is the most shippable loser because everyone is in love with him. mike is a close second but only because the losers met ben first and were already in love with him when they met mike

i sent murryn ( @pattyblumuris ) a screenshot of my inbox yesterday to show her a different ask and the first thing she said was “the second anon [this one] is right and should say it” like before even responding to what the screenshot was about and that pretty much sums up how i feel about this! ben 🤝 mike always (also while we’re on the topic. i KNOW bike is hanbrough but if i ever say bike there’s a 50/50 chance i’m talking abt ben/mike bc their other real option is. men. which is worse i think... recently i’ve been playing with benlon as well)

richie teases ben like. constantly. partially bc he has no filter at times but also partially bc he’s constantly craving ways to express affection whilst deeply afraid of being vulnerable and so he wraps up his truth and affection in amusement, presents in a way that’s easier for him to swallow. and sometimes he thinks ben’s the bravest of them all, because he cares so genuinely and openly and earnestly, and that’s kind of mind-blowing, even if it’s corny. anyway richie’s constantly slinging an arm over his shoulder, flopping down with his legs on ben’s lap when sitting in the grass in spring time, dramatically fake fainting into his arms bc he knows ben will always catch him (yes this is a scene in the fic i’m currently writing don’t @ me those of u with access to the google doc)

genuinely don’t let me talk about denscom i simply won’t shut up. something i will always thank the muschietti films for is denscom rights. the first time i saw ben on the back of silver in chapter one?? showstopping. and chapter two is so funny with the love triangle bc i swear mcavoy’s bill spent more time giving ben Looks than he did looking at bev (like hanbrough rights but also bill @ ben in the cistern > adult bill @ anyone other than mike all film). anyway ben sits in bill’s heart from the moment he sits with eddie when bill has to go run fill up his inhaler and sometimes they just sit together and sketch things (ben sketches designs. bill sketches ben)

stan and ben are so different at first glance that sometimes it surprises people who don’t know them how much they love each other. but ben sits patiently with stan, listens to him talk, listens actively and intently, and cares. richie is stan’s best friend, but ben’s the one stan goes to when he wants to exist quietly in a space. they’re very good at making space for each other. richie’s also the one ben goes to when discussing the mathematics and physics of architecture, but stan’s the one he talks his ideas out with, the one who listens and thinks and frames things in the context of what they’re useful for, in the context of what’s real. (stan takes a little bit to warm up to ben, but one day ben just. it’s something so small, so simple, but they’re outside, and richie and bill are fucking around, and ben just moves stan’s sweater out of their path of chaos. stan doesn’t ask him to, and ben doesn’t even move his own stuff—he’s just thoughtful enough to show care to stan’s belongings, and stan just. loves him in that moment)

eddie’s a bit of a motormouth, but even though he’s just listed off twenty three reasons why they shouldn’t help ben (ben counted), he gets supplies and immediately sets about to patching him up anyway. when ben doesn’t even know eddie, not really, he sits with him, has his back when bill goes to fill his inhaler, is a constant target for bowers and his cronies and yet stubbornly sticks by the side of a vulnerable boy he barely knows. eddie doesn’t love widely, but he loves fiercely, ferociously, completely, and that is how he loves ben. (ben loves more gently, in a way that isn’t cautious but is careful, like he knows how delicate hearts are to hold. one day, when ben waits at the altar as richie walks alongside the woman he loves, eddie stands at his side. eddie’s love is an unwavering force, and it’s what ben wants at his side that day)

bev loves bill like he’s an escape, like he’s an answer. bev loves ben like breathing. she’s spent her life looking for exits, and ben makes her feel safe enough that she finally learns how to stand still. he’s endearing and lonely and alone, he’s soft and gently courageous, he’s a constant target who throws himself immediately into the crossfire for her. she loves him at eleven, thirteen, sixteen, forever. january embers and a smile to herself at the edge of the bathtub, sure, but also: the way he grins as he hums to his music, his hand in hers as he helps her to her feet, the good natured way he rolls his eyes at richie’s ribbing. she buys sweaters several sizes too big, just so they can share them. she’s a little in love with him years before she’s a lot in love with him, and he’s the kind of selfless that never fails to take her breath away, because she never got to see that much of it before she met him

when ben meets mike, it’s a fight, but they’ve always felt like peace to each other. they’re the ones to say wait a minute, let him speak — they’re the ones to trade smirks when richie and bill make indignant noises after the ben and mike team up with bev to prank the other two — they’re the ones to bring easy smiles when meeting new people, earnest and genuine and so fucking funny at two am that stan literally cries from laughing when they’re studying for exams in their final year of high school. they love each other immediately, trust each other wholly, and the others just, like, shrug, because... yeah. they’re a little in love with both of them too. they totally get it

i knew i was going to die when i saw you for the first time in twenty-seven years. 

your voice, first—oh, that voice—and then i turned and saw you, across the room, across the great divide—and i swallowed hard because i knew. i was going to die for you because i would always die for you. remember? all those times i ran for you, jumped off the quarry for you, drove your truck fast down the highway because you liked when i got reckless—all that stupid shit i did for you, no question (a little pushback, maybe). i would die for you, simple. and i knew when i looked to you and you looked back to me that i was going to.

but i didn’t want to. i fought it every step of the way. i could see—if i just made it through the dinner, if i just made it through the pharmacy, if i just made it through the ritual, if i just made it through the sewers—there was a life with you, waiting patiently.

i wanted to make it.

we have lived a life of should-haves. all of us—and it goes back further than that summer: we should have turned left on jackson instead of right when we were just kids and maybe we never would have found ourselves in it’s path. and i should have told you, so many times. i had every chance. i should have followed you, gone wherever you wanted, driven west in that car i saved up for and forgotten all about new york, forgotten all about anything that wasn’t you. but we never really got it right.

when the claw went through my chest, it didn’t hurt. when i said your name and my mouth filled with blood, it didn’t hurt. when you laid me against the rock and pressed your hand to my stomach, it didn’t hurt. 

but it hurt when i laughed and it hurt when you smiled that split-second smile. (that’s when i knew i would not last much longer). it hurt when your smile fell. it hurt when you walked away from me. it hurt knowing i could not get up and follow you. and it hurt knowing that when you came back to me, you would have to find me dead and i could not hold you—i would never be able to make the pain go away anymore and i would be the cause of it.

i knew i was going to die for you a long time ago. i had just forgotten for a while. i didn’t know it would be like this—i thought maybe you’d hold me a little longer, maybe i’d tell you then.

i don’t know what i said while i died. i wanted to say, i wish you wouldn’t go. i wanted to tell you i was sorry i would not keep my promise to hold on. i hope you know i wanted to. i remember the blurry and fragmented image of you, walking away after slipping your pinky from mine. most of all, i wanted to tell you that tomorrow, we should get up early and go back home to our place, how about it my love?

but the last thing i remember is you, behind me on the cliff at the quarry on a summer day, reaching out to take my hand before we jumped, your voice shouting my name. and then—

would it be a nice day tomorrow? would the sun be shining on you, the way i always liked? 

i wonder. 

WAIT. Not to be controversial but. What if I just enjoy life for what it is right now instead of stressing about what I’ve yet to get out of it. What if I choose to enjoy this time……I know that once it goes, I won’t get it back from anywhere

It’s okay if you count on your fingers, if you continually change how you look, if you’re passionate about something you aren’t good at, if you’re confused about your identity, if you score low on tests often. It’s okay if you have an irregular skin tone, moles, frizzy hair, unevenly clipped nails, crooked teeth, acne, eczema. You’re enough, and you’re deserving of love.

I’ve been a fool! 

How often is Stan sad, for whatever reason, and he’s a sulker. Always looking worriedly into the distance, sighing heavily, hiding his head on his knees… and Richie sidles up next to him and like, pokes him and is like “Staaaaaan…”

And Stan mumbles “Stop it Richie,” and Richie spends the next indeterminate period of time making bad jokes and doing lame impressions and Stan’s like “You’re not funny Richie,” but Richie is like “Then why are you smiling?”

And Stan’s like “I’m not smiling!” Only because of that he has to start fighting back a smile. And pretty soon Richie cracks his worst joke yet and Stan full on grins and Richie’s like “Holy shit we’re witnessing a miracle!” and he does another terrible impression and Stan pushes Richie away like “I mean it Richie,” only it’s too late.

Because Stan is full on giggling now, and then Richie goes in for the kill: Stan is ticklish. Only Richie has access to this arcane and powerful knowledge. Stan basically made Richie swear not to tell anyone else, and as collateral he has a polaroid of Richie dressed up as Sailor Moon.

It’s too effective, and soon Stan is crying laughing and he forgot what he was even moping about. And Richie sing songs his refrain of “Smile for me Stanley!”

Because Richie wants everyone around him to be happy. If Richie can’t be happy, he tries his hardest to make everyone else happy. Poor Richie. Good thing Stan is a perceptive bitch! Because when Richie is down he always brings him little gifts. Home baked cookies, the latest comic book Richie was eyeing at the store after he blew his allowance on ice cream, maybe a pressed wildflower?? 

This is for all the writers who:

Have never finished a project

Don’t have publishing as their big goal

Write purely for enjoyment

Can’t/don’t stick to an idea

Don’t put their work out for people to read

Write purely as a hobby

You are just as valid and talented as writers who have been published, or have finished projects. You are still a writer, even if you don’t have other people read your work. You don’t have to pursue the same goals and have similar accomplishments to other people to be valid as a writer.

You are valid, you are important, and you are talented.

richie performing his own material like *goes off script every 5 minutes*

i knew i was going to die when i saw you for the first time in twenty-seven years. 

your voice, first—oh, that voice—and then i turned and saw you, across the room, across the great divide—and i swallowed hard because i knew. i was going to die for you because i would always die for you. remember? all those times i ran for you, jumped off the quarry for you, drove your truck fast down the highway because you liked when i got reckless—all that stupid shit i did for you, no question (a little pushback, maybe). i would die for you, simple. and i knew when i looked to you and you looked back to me that i was going to.

but i didn’t want to. i fought it every step of the way. i could see—if i just made it through the dinner, if i just made it through the pharmacy, if i just made it through the ritual, if i just made it through the sewers—there was a life with you, waiting patiently.

i wanted to make it.

we have lived a life of should-haves. all of us—and it goes back further than that summer: we should have turned left on jackson instead of right when we were just kids and maybe we never would have found ourselves in it’s path. and i should have told you, so many times. i had every chance. i should have followed you, gone wherever you wanted, driven west in that car i saved up for and forgotten all about new york, forgotten all about anything that wasn’t you. but we never really got it right.

when the claw went through my chest, it didn’t hurt. when i said your name and my mouth filled with blood, it didn’t hurt. when you laid me against the rock and pressed your hand to my stomach, it didn’t hurt. 

but it hurt when i laughed and it hurt when you smiled that split-second smile. (that’s when i knew i would not last much longer). it hurt when your smile fell. it hurt when you walked away from me. it hurt knowing i could not get up and follow you. and it hurt knowing that when you came back to me, you would have to find me dead and i could not hold you—i would never be able to make the pain go away anymore and i would be the cause of it.

i knew i was going to die for you a long time ago. i had just forgotten for a while. i didn’t know it would be like this—i thought maybe you’d hold me a little longer, maybe i’d tell you then.

i don’t know what i said while i died. i wanted to say, i wish you wouldn’t go. i wanted to tell you i was sorry i would not keep my promise to hold on. i hope you know i wanted to. i remember the blurry and fragmented image of you, walking away after slipping your pinky from mine. most of all, i wanted to tell you that tomorrow, we should get up early and go back home to our place, how about it my love?

but the last thing i remember is you, behind me on the cliff at the quarry on a summer day, reaching out to take my hand before we jumped, your voice shouting my name. and then—

would it be a nice day tomorrow? would the sun be shining on you, the way i always liked? 

i wonder. 

alright kids, so i’m just about finished re-reading IT and i would like to share the bichie highlights with you in case anyone who hasn’t read it is interested. buckle up.

Richie is the only one that Bill confides in about his guilt over Georgie and Richie is very sincere (a rarity) when comforting him.  “What Richie had just said had made him feel better about George’s death for the first time in months…”

This is also the point where Bill begins to cry and feels insecure about it and Richie tells him it’s okay to cry and that he would do the same.

Whatever this is: “Bill was here and Bill would take care; Bill would not let things get out of control. He was the tallest of them, and surely the most handsome. Richie only had to look sideways at Bev’s eyes…to know that. Bill was also the strongest of them - and not just physically. There was a good deal more to it than that, but since Richie did not know either the word charisma or the full meaning of the word magnetism, he only felt that Bill’s strength ran deep and might manifest itself in many ways, some of them probably unexpected. And Richie suspected if Beverly fell for him, or “got a crush him”, or whatever they called it, Ben would not be jealous; he would accept it as nothing but natural.” cont.

Keep reading

remember the brief trend earlier this year of celebrities posting their co-stars middle school pics and captioning them "it makes me so mad I can't hang out with this kid"??? Richie and Bill, within seconds of each other and without mentioning their plan to each other first, both post pics of them like hugging as kids captioned "it makes me so mad that I HAD to hang out with this kid" lmao

omg ok but this would be so hilarious if they roasted each other while no one knew that they were childhood friends. like obvs before derry they didnt even know each other so the fans would have no reason to associate them in any way but then after derry. richie and bill dont make a post like ‘hey we’ve actually known each other for a long time’ or anything like instead richie just tweets a pic of bill as a child one day with some caption like “anyone else think he looks how cold fries taste?” which just causes Mass confusion bc hUH??? like richie didnt tweet anything abt bills writing so it doesnt seem like he just read one of bills books and was upset by it. but ppl still dont have any reason to think richie and bill know each other. so in the end ppl just think that comedian richie tozier woke up one morning and was like. you know what? Fuck that horror novel guy

note to self: just because someone did the thing you were thinking about doing, and did it way better than you could ever hope to do, doesn’t mean it would be stupid or pointless to go ahead and try to still do the thing anyway. 

Resources For Writing Sketchy Topics

Medicine

A Study In Physical Injury

Comas

Medical Facts And Tips For Your Writing Needs

Broken Bones

Burns

Unconsciousness & Head Trauma

Blood Loss

Stab Wounds

Pain & Shock

All About Mechanical Injuries (Injuries Caused By Violence)

Writing Specific Characters

Portraying a kleptomaniac.

Playing a character with cancer.

How to portray a power driven character.

Playing the manipulative character.

Portraying a character with borderline personality disorder.

Playing a character with Orthorexia Nervosa.

Writing a character who lost someone important.

Playing the bullies.

Portraying the drug dealer.

Playing a rebellious character.

How to portray a sociopath.

How to write characters with PTSD.

Playing characters with memory loss.

Playing a pyromaniac.

How to write a mute character.

How to write a character with an OCD.

How to play a stoner.

Playing a character with an eating disorder.

Portraying a character who is anti-social.

Portraying a character who is depressed.

How to portray someone with dyslexia.

How to portray a character with bipolar disorder.

Portraying a character with severe depression.

How to play a serial killer.

Writing insane characters.

Playing a character under the influence of marijuana.

Tips on writing a drug addict.

How to write a character with HPD.

Writing a character with Nymphomania.

Writing a character with schizophrenia.

Writing a character with Dissociative Identity Disorder.

Writing a character with depression.

Writing a character who suffers from night terrors.

Writing a character with paranoid personality disorder.

How to play a victim of rape.

How to play a mentally ill/insane character.

Writing a character who self-harms.

Writing a character who is high on amphetamines.

How to play the stalker.

How to portray a character high on cocaine.

Playing a character with ADHD.

How to play a sexual assault victim.

Writing a compulsive gambler.

Playing a character who is faking a disorder.

Playing a prisoner.

Portraying an emotionally detached character.

How to play a character with social anxiety.

Portraying a character who is high.

Portraying characters who have secrets.

Portraying a recovering alcoholic.

Portraying a sex addict.

How to play someone creepy.

Portraying sexually/emotionally abused characters.

Playing a character under the influence of drugs.

Playing a character who struggles with Bulimia.

Illegal Activity

Examining Mob Mentality

How Street Gangs Work

Domestic Abuse

Torture

Assault

Murder

Terrorism

Internet Fraud

Cyberwarfare

Computer Viruses

Corporate Crime

Political Corruption

Drug Trafficking

Human Trafficking

Sex Trafficking

Illegal Immigration

Contemporary Slavery 

Black Market Prices & Profits

AK-47 prices on the black market

Bribes

Computer Hackers and Online Fraud

Contract Killing

Exotic Animals

Fake Diplomas

Fake ID Cards, Passports and Other Identity Documents

Human Smuggling Fees

Human Traffickers Prices

Kidney and Organ Trafficking Prices

Prostitution Prices

Cocaine Prices

Ecstasy Pills Prices

Heroin Prices

Marijuana Prices

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Earnings From Illegal Jobs

Countries In Order Of Largest To Smallest Risk

Forensics

arson

Asphyxia

Blood Analysis

Book Review

Cause & Manner of Death

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Cool & Odd-Mostly Odd

Corpse Identification

Corpse Location

Crime and Science Radio

crime lab

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Cults and Religions

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Document Examination

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Firearms Analysis

Forensic Anthropology

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General Forensics

Guest Blogger

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Interesting Cases

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Interviews

Medical History

Medical Issues

Misc

Multiple Murderers

On This Day

Poisons & Drugs

Police Procedure

Q&A

serial killers

Space Program

Stupid Criminals

Theft

Time of Death

Toxicology

Trauma

some fucking resources for all ur writing fuckin needs

body language masterlist

a translator that doesn’t eat ass like google translate does

a reverse dictionary for when ur brain freezes

550 words to say instead of fuckin said

638 character traits for when ur brain freezes again

some more body language help 

Writing a First Draft

I’ve seen a lot of advice posts that encourage writing a “bad” first draft, or saying that the point of the first draft isn’t to be “good” just to be done, but I have yet to see any examples of what that actually means (which is unfortunate because for a lot of first-time writers that may just mean that their best effort on a first draft isn’t “good enough”), so that’s what I’m here for! The ultimate advocate of ugly writing, babey! Let’s write some “bad” first drafts!!

Forewarning that this is going to be difficult for you perfectionists out there (same hat tho!!!), but really, if you’re looking to finish a first draft within a reasonable time frame (and not continue to rewrite the beginning 50 times to get there, only to be disappointed when the next scenes aren’t as “good” as the beginning), then this really is the way to go. Perfectionism comes in super handy in later drafts, but it’s a real burden in the first draft, and I really really relate to that. What I find that helps keep my perfectionism in check while I’m drafting is to keep a separate Word doc open (or a notebook and pen at hand) to jot down new ideas or things that have changed throughout the draft. Putting a page number down next to the notation will save your life as well. Your future self will thank you!

Okay, so let’s get into it! You have an idea, and you need to get that first draft out before you lose motivation or move on to a shiny new WIP idea. What’s that first draft going to look like?

Write the scenes you’re excited about first. If you’re someone who, like myself, needs to write things in chronological order, then write these scenes in chronological order - but! if you have the conclusion figured out, then write it now, yes, even before that one bit in the middle you’re not sure about. Is it likely that some details in these scenes will change as you keep writing different parts of the book? Yes! Do it anyway! Anything you write will be helpful for later drafts, so write those scenes!!! Plus, if you start with what you’re excited about, you’ll want to keep writing even after they’re finished, because your brain will just keep generating other super cool ideas for those in-between scenes. And yeah, there will definitely be filler scenes to write, but you can probably worry about those in the next draft.

If you’re on a roll, don’t worry about punctuation, grammar, or spelling. I mean it! If those red squiggles in Word bother you, turn them off (they’re really only semi-helpful for editing, and we’re not doing that right now). If you write faster and think better using “internet grammar” (minimal/excessive punctuation, no capitalization, weird spelling, etc.), then do that! If it helps you get words on the page, it’s worth doing.

If you’re not on a roll, try putting some space between what you’ve written and what you need to write. For me, that frequently means hitting enter (even mid-sentence if I suddenly get stuck), typing “monkey,” and then hitting enter again, as many times as it takes for my brain to reboot and remember what the hell I was going for. If that means I have a chain of 20 monkeys in the middle of a paragraph, so be it. They get to hang out there until I come back in draft two and delete them. 

I’ve also written “uhhhhhh” and “oh fuck now what” several times in a first draft. It happens. It’s easier to write in a way that mirrors your thought process, so just do what works. Use memes in your prose to keep it moving - it’ll make future you laugh when you go back through on draft two!

Don’t be afraid to change major pieces of plot - but don’t you dare go back and rewrite earlier pieces to match! Let’s say you’re at the end of act one and you revealed some tragic detail about your MC’s backstory, but now you’re in the middle of act two and you’ve realized that it no longer fits your idea of MC and you no longer want it to be true. Simply make a brief note of it and keep writing like that scene in act one never happened. Deleting, rewriting, and repurposing are all for later drafts! The goal on the first draft is literally just to reach the end - and it’s inevitable that you’ll find and change the story along the way.

Forget about foreshadowing. No matter how detailed of an outliner you are, the fact is that in the first draft you really don’t actually know what’s going to happen yet in your book (see point 5). So forget about trying to foreshadow. Spell out what’s happening plain as day - because the first draft is just one long exposition dump to aide you in future drafts. If you get halfway through and a sudden twist or weird piece of backstory jumps out at you, write it in as if you had foreshadowed, even though you haven’t yet. Make a note of it, and maybe even note where you could foreshadow this in the next few drafts, but keep moving forward. 

Changing perspectives is fine even if it goes against how you know you want your final draft to be. If you have a scene in mind that you know you need to include, but you have no idea how MC would react during it, but you know how your side character would react, write the scene from the side character’s perspective. You can think about MC’s POV in that scene later - again, the point is just to get it written, so if switching POVs gets you through the scene, do it.

Ultimately, this is what people mean when they say your first draft is going to be “ugly.” It’s going to be a little (or a lot) messy. But that’s okay. The struggle of the beginning writer is realizing that your first draft is not going to look like anything you’ve read before - because those are final drafts. And to the gifted writers who breezed through school (like I did) by submitting their first draft essays for grading - that’s not going to work here. Every time you rewrite a piece, it gets better. If you try to make your first draft perfect, you will just end up frustrated and disappointed at the time you wasted, because you’ll end up reworking 80% of it or more in the subsequent drafts. Your writing style will change and improve, and your knowledge will grow, and every time you revisit a draft, that will be reflected.

So write that ugly draft. Insert so many author’s notes mid-paragraph that you look like an early 2000s fanfic writer. Contradict previous scenes like you’re constructing the most elaborate Winchester Mystery House -esque draft the world has ever seen, complete with paragraphs that lead to nowhere and mysterious monkey chains cutting sentences in half. 

And then, in the second draft, make it look as though the first draft never happened.

it au where everything’s the same except they’re all wearing taylor swift merch

SITES FOR WRITERS

Fantasy name generator

Fighter’s block - try to defeat a monster by writing

Child’s Traits Calculator ; predict a child’s appearance 

Child’s Traits Calculator ; predict other traits

Fifty Plot Twist Ideas For Your Work-In-Progress!

Name generator (Character, Baby, Last name, etc.)

Plot generator ; Inspiration for your next novel, film or short story

Character generator ; Generate Rich Characters in Seconds

Writing Exercises ;  This site provides (completely free) writing prompts and exercises to help you get started with creative writing and break through writing blocks. 

Notebook ; create your characters, worlds, objects, places, etc. and save them

Festisite ; Create a fake license, marriage certificate, credit card, ticket and you can find other stuff as well.

The most common last names in the US

Lists of most common surnames

List of most popular given names

List of the least common surnames [last names] in America, rank 16,001-20,000

Fantasy name generator (again)

Random Name Generator (Choose origins, gender, etc.)

Said is dead (Remember that you can use said, don’t use it to less.)

How Much Blood Can The Human Body Lose? 

How Long Can Someone Go Without Breathing?

The 6 Types of Collars Every Man Should Know by Name 

18 Different Types of Sleeves Design Patterns

What are the most widely practiced religions of the world?

Differences Between a Short Story, Novelette, Novella, & a Novel

Hemingway editor ;  It grades your writing by its readability. 

Zen writer ; writing without distractions (Might not be free after a while)

33 Ways to Write Stronger Characters

75+ bad habits for your character

30 SCENE IDEAS FOR CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT

10 Things Writers Don’t Know About The Woods

British and American terms

Free writing worksheets

Feel free to add more!

Ooo can you do some hc's or a fic where Richie's feeling like dead weight to the group, and starts to seperate himself because he feel like he's annoying everyone?

holy guacamole just stab me in the heart okay also btw this is modern

-richie’s always known he was annoying

-certain people just kinda know

-he’s been told so many times, by his peers and parents alike so he’s just kind of come to accept it. he makes jokes to cope with childhood trauma. he oversexualizes things because he’s scared of his sexuality, it just be like that sometimes

-but recently he’s been feeling kinda different and it’s hard for him to articulate it but it just feels wrong. 

-it started as a joke actually. go figure right? richie ends up being the butt of his own joke. he wanted to see if he could go the whole day without contacting his friends. he didn’t anything on instagram or snapchat. didn’t respond to anybody’s stories. no texts or calls or memes or likes or anything. 

-and it’s not like he expected some big hoopla in the groupchat like OMG WHERE’S RICHIE IS HE DEAD but he at least anticipated some sort of reaction

-maybe from stan y'know? like “this groupchat isn’t making me want to kill. myself, where’s rich?” but no. there was nothing. and it wasn’t like the chat was dead either, bill was going off on this whole big rant about the solar system or some lame shi like that and not once for the entire day did anyone say anything to or about richie 

-he didn’t receive any calls or texts sending him things or asking where he was. and that made him feel something painful in his chest. so he tried it again the next day, maybe it was a fluke. maybe everyone was just busy with their own things to notice richie’s little experiment. but the next day was the same as the first, there was no sign of richie and no one seemed to notice

-this little experience led richie down a dark path. he eventually started wondering how big of a nuisance he actually was. how annoying did the others really find him? had he really overestimated how much his friends cared about him for this long? and you might think this is dramatic but hello this is richie tozier

-and maybe richie would try to like not go to school just to see if anyone would notice but he ends up going anyway because contrary to popular belief my boy’s wicked smart and he wouldn’t want to fall behind on his work

-so he goes to school but he’s quiet and that’s very different for him. he refrains from making ‘your mom’ jokes, he’s not really laughing at anything or doodling. he just goes, does his work, and goes home. 

-this routine continues for like two days before bev is finally like ‘alright asshole what gives are you sick or something?”

-and he’s like no?? wym

-”you’ve been quiet and a little mopey all week and it’s giving me the heebee jeebies what’s up with you?”

-so he explains what he’s been feeling “not like anyone would care but” and he tells bev that he’s felt like deadweight and unimportant and she almost crIES because richie is her best friend and she feels terrible for making him see himself that way

-bev tells him that she’s so incredibly sorry for making him feel obsolete and he’s like “it’s really okay like #notmad and it wasn’t just you anyway”

-so naturally bev tells EVERYONE and they all show up to richie’s house after school and swarm him with apologies and hugs and richie’s almost crying bc 1. he’s a big baby and 2. he loves his friends so much?? and affection is the best??

-eddie starts crying (obvs) just talking about how much he loves his boy and that he was just swamped with homework but that didn’t mean that richie wasn’t important 

-mike and ben obviously give richie the bIGGEST hugs of his entire life and sidenote: mike and richie are pals and whenever richie feels upset he goes to mike for a hug and mike just kinda holds him for 5ever but that’s only ever in private but he’s doING IT RIGHT NOW because he loves richie & doesn’t care who knows it

-bill’s like “i l-love you m-m-man, i never would’ve got this f-f-far without you” and bev is like “i tOLd you we loved you”

-stan is kind of shook the most because he calls richie annoying on the daily so he feels bad but richie’s like “no ur my best friend you have the right to call me annoying”

-they all have a big sleepover and live happily ever after bc richie is feeling loved and appreciated the end 

growing up is so weird because when I was in high school, it felt like the whole world. and I know that sounds dramatic but teenagers are dramatic and I made myself sick stressing over so many dumb things, like my senior quote and how I looked in school pictures, who liked and disliked me, and whatever the latest drama was.

and now I look at that building and it seems so small, and I realize it’s because—yeah—it was always small. everything that felt so big and overwhelming shrank in size the moment I stepped back from that place, and I wish it was something I’d been able to see while I was in high school so I wouldn’t have been so sad over things I’ve already forgotten.

anyway, I guess for any of my younger followers on here, just remember that sometimes you can’t help but get caught up in rush of high school, and because you spend so much of your time there, it becomes your whole world, but don’t forget that there’s a huge world outside of it and one day you’re gonna get to explore it and it’s gonna be huge and terrifying, but you’ll look back and see that so many things you stressed over in high school just weren’t worth it.