Latest Posts by wilthing-rose13 - Page 8
Some more BNHA student enforced dorm rules (pt3)
61. 3am is a dangerous time. Going anywhere near Denki, Todoroki or Midoriya’s room during this time will almost always result in witnessing something extremely confusing.
62. Toasters scare the crap out of Todoroki. We don’t know why and we don’t ask, but they just do. Don’t make toast when he’s in the room.
63. It has come to our attention that everyone has been playing a “game” where when Todoroki has his right hand occupied, someone shouts “think fast!” and throws him a popsicle and he’s forced to catch it with his “hot” ( or left ) hand. The mess gets all over the floor afterwards, and Bakugo is clearly getting sick of cleaning it up, as well as everyone who keeps stepping in it.
64. If anyone is ever feeling down, please report to Iida, Midoriya, Mina, Tsuyu or Ochako’s room as they are happy to shower you with unlimited amounts of hugs and affection.
65. There is a Class 1-A groupchat, as everyone knows, policed by Iida. Both Midoriya and Denki have both been put on temporary suspension. Sending everyone a link to a bass-boosted version of the Ponyo theme song at 2:36AM is not allowed.
66. Every time someone catches Midoriya accidentally calling All Might “dad”, please report to the common room and place a tally mark on the board under “All Might’s secret love child”( submitted by Todoroki ).
67. Tag is no longer allowed in the dorms.
68. Games that are in any way similar to tag but are called a different name by Sero or Tokoyami because “it’s not technically tag” are still not allowed in the dorms.
69. Kirishima is on cat poop duty for the next three weeks. This is his punishment for replacing everyone’s shoes with multicolored crocs.
70. The saying “women and children first” does not apply to bomb-simulation exercises. We’re looking at you, Bakugo.
71. Bakugo is infamously bad at playing Mario Cart. Do not let him play. He will want to, simply because he doesn’t like the thought of a little toad defeating him. Do not let him, though, as the damage repair needed afterward far outweighs the laughter that ensues as you watch him play.
72. If the bento boxes in the refrigerator have a name on them, do not take them. Mineta, this is specifically aimed at you.
73. We have a “bring your dad to school day” so that Todoroki can receive hugs and affection from dads that aren’t messy garbage fires.
74. If Midoriya is up to something that needs to be stopped, Todoroki must also be found immediately. Those two are almost always on the same crap.
75. Mispronouncing words on purpose in front of Momo is most likely one of the worst possible things you could do.
76. It may have been funny on “The Office”, but encasing Bakugo’s belongings in jello will inevitably end with a severely broken limb.
77. Denki is the official Class 1-A nail painter
78. Bakugo is the the official Class 1-A hair stylist. You have to ask extremely politely, but he is surprisingly good at working with hair. May that be short or long hair.
79. Momo and Jirou host study sessions every Sunday night before school starts up after the weekend. It’s not technically mandatory, but Jirou has now deemed it mandatory.
80. Every time someone makes a self deprecating comment about themselves, Iida is allowed to shoot them with a nerf gun. We’re trying out positive punishment.
81. We didn’t know this rule would ever have a need to be made, but please do not bite the decorative cacti.
82. You cannot replace the school uniform shoes with jocs. To clarify, this is a type of croc that Kirishima crafted completely out of jean material and passed around to every student of Class 1 A and B.
83. Die Hard and Inception are no longer options for movie night.
84. We have deemed Aoyama’s room a official hazard zone. Please wear some sort of protective glasses before entering. We do not know how he handles it himself.
85. The app Tiktok has now been banned from the dorms. Further explanation can be provided by Denki.
86. Endeavor merch is banned from the dorms
87. Todoroki has a nasty habit of guessing what’s going to happen next in the movie during movie night out loud. When he does this, everyone is then allowed to throw popcorn at him.
88. Bakugo sleep-vacuums. When this happens, Kirishima is needed to get him back to bed.
89. Denki has claimed a specific spot on the couch in the common room, and if anyone else sits in that spot, he will scream like a pterodactyl until you get up. So please do not sit in his spot.
90. Addressing rule 30 and 40, we have deemed it unsafe to except any food item at all that Sero offers you.
(Pt 1 is here)
(Pt 2 is here)
30 more student enforced dorm rules (pt2)
( technically it’s 29 but that doesn’t look as pleasing as 30 )
31. Jirou is not allowed to have her speakers during school nights, as last time we allowed her to keep them in her room she started blasting “gravy train” at one in the morning.
32. There is always one person on Bakugo duty when it gets chilly outside. He won’t admit it, but he is cold, and needs a jacket.
33. We don’t know how or why Denki got TikTok famous, but that app is not good for his health. He’s on it constantly. If you see him on it, slap his phone from his hands.
34. Just because Tsuyu can regurgitate her stomach does not mean you should ask her to. We’re looking at you, Mineta.
35. Attempting to scare Koda by placing fake plastic centipedes around the dorms is not wise. He has a surprisingly high pitched scream and Uraraka had ringing in her right ear for two weeks after someone did it to him the first time.
36. Organizing another “sit on your desktop” protest to combat Iida’s swatting might actually give him a literal heart attack. Please be courteous to our class president and sit in your darn chairs before he spontaneously combusts.
37. Trying to translate anything Aoyama says is a bad idea. We don’t know why he chooses to only say certain sentences in French, but most of the time they’re just weird.
38. We don’t know who keeps doing it, but the name plate on Sero’s room door is constantly being changed to “sticky daddy” and the staff of Heights Alliance are not happy about it. We advise against continuing this.
39. Todoroki is unbeatable in Mario cart. Not even Shoji has been able to take him down. For the safety of all, do not let Bakugo and Todoroki play against each other. Those consoles are expensive to replace.
40. Addressing rule 30, Sero has started making cookies. Do not be fooled, they are baked with the same ingredients as the brownies. Todoroki made the mistake of eating one and was found in his dorm room trying to act out Elsa’s “Let It Go”. That was a lot of damage to repair.
41. Todoroki and Deku adopted a pet cat named Cheese. We’ve agreed to keep Cheese a secret. He’s part of the family now. If anyone rats Cheese out, I ( Ochako Uraraka, hmu @ room 113 ) will fight you in a Calvary battle.
42. Yelling “sneeze” over and over until Todoroki sneezes has proven to be a bad idea. Last time that happened Todoroki froze Aizawa to his desk.
43. Deku will start crying if you play the ASPCA commercial. He won’t stop for hours and Todoroki has to handle it. If it turns on, immediately turn it off. Those tears could bring down the building.
44. Mineta has a specialty mandated school computer. If anyone sees him using his personal one outside of his room, please inform Aizawa. He uses the voice option of google translate to interrupt class with inappropriate words and pulls up restricted content.
45. If Jirou approaches you holding a pair of earbuds, telling you to “check this out” do not take her up on the offer. Denki was temporarily hearing impaired for a month until he recovered.
46. Asking Sero to use his tape as spider webs like spider man is a horrible idea, and does not have the same strength as the real thing.
47. Someone needs to remind Iida to sleep if he’s been studying. He starts to hyper-focus and doesn’t realize 8 hours have passed. The boy needs rest.
48. Denki is not allowed in the communal bath when he’s sick. If he sneezes, everyone in that bathroom will die.
49. Bakugo will act like his hearing aids are off when he’s pissed at you. There’s no use trying to talk to him then, even if he can actually hear you.
50. Touching Deku’s hero notebooks is one of the worst ideas you could possible have. Do not.
51. Saying “wanna fight” as a joke around Todoroki and Bakugo is quite possibly the worst thing you could ever do. They’re not good with social cues, and will take you up on the offer. We advise against it.
52. Todoroki is too stubborn to admit when he’s sick. He will walk around as if nothings wrong with a 105 degree temp in the name of not showing weakness. When this happens, please immediately contact Midoriya.
53. Kirishima will shout “dibs” whenever Bakugo enters the room. Let this happen. It’s cute.
54. Do not hand Bakugo a Snickers and say “you’re not yourself when you’re hungry”. Denki has attempted this and he ended up with half the bar stuck down his trachea. Ergo rule 54.
55. Truth or dare, more specifically the dare, is no longer allowed in the dorms.
56. Mineta is required at least one person to keep him in check on Valentine’s Day. There’s too much opportunity to be nasty, do not be afraid to hit him.
57. We have a special “Shouto Squad” for whenever Endeavor makes trips to the school for hero lectures. Midoriya and Iida lead the squad. Contact Midoriya for more information.
58. Bakugo, Jirou, and Denki are no longer allowed in the dorm kitchen.
59. Just because Midoriya hugs Todoroki does not mean just anyone can. That is a exclusive privilege, and attempting to do this could end in sudden life threatening injuries.
60. Absolutely do not wake Momo up before 11 on the weekend.
(Pt 1 is here)
(Pt3 is here)
30 student enforced dorm rules
1. Never play scrabble with Momo. She will always win. No exceptions.
2. Never wash any dishes or turn on sinks when Bakugo is taking a shower. Last time that happened he got so surprised that there’s now a hole in the bathroom wall.
3. There are no kettles allowed. No one knows why, but every time they buy a new one Deku hides it. It’s best to just not buy them anymore as clearly it’s a waste of money.
4. At least 3 people need to remind Todoroki that dinner is on, because he will forget to eat.
5. Never talk about heroes at the dinner table. Bakugo, Deku and Todoroki almost always end up in a heated argument and all three never finish their dinner.
6. Do not ask Tsuyu to grab something with her tongue just because it’s too far away from the couch. She’s too nice to say no.
7. Movie nights are every Saturday night. It’s kinda mandatory. A different person is allowed to pick the movie genre every week in rotation. Movies in that genre are then voted on.
8. If Deku falls asleep on you, you’re stuck. If you move, he will literally squeeze the life out of you.
9. Todoroki is not your heater
10. Todoroki is not your air conditioner
11. Having Ochako float marshmallows while Todoroki shoots fire at them is not the correct way to roast marshmallows. Do it the normal way.
12. Dark Shadow is not the class pet. He is very dangerous and Tokoyami is sick of everyone trying to pet him.
13. Sensei Aizawa may have given you his number, but it is for emergencies and cat pictures ONLY. Please don’t text him asking for homework answers. You’re not funny.
14. If you occupy the dorm rooms in close approximation to Ochako’s, please remind her to make sure to either wear kitchen mittens or strap herself down in bed before she goes to sleep. It’s quite horrifying to walk into her room in the morning and see her sleeping on the ceiling, and it’s not good for her blood pressure.
15. Mineta is not allowed to even step foot in the girls corridors. If he’s seen there, you’re welcome to literally kick him out.
16. No one is allowed to break into Deku’s room to hide behind his cardboard figures and jump out to scare him. He almost died of a heart attack last time and he is very capable of destroying the building if scared.
17. Pranking Todoroki is a horrible idea. He has amazing natural reflexes and you will probably die.
18. Please be mindful in the hallways, you can’t always fully see Hagakure but she’s there and doesn’t appreciate being bumped into.
19. As of the next three months, Denki is on trash duty. Do not let anyone else do it, it is his job. This goes to show that you’re not allowed to reenact the scene of Ratatouille where Remy gets struck by lighting on the roof.
20. Mineta is excluded from being able to help pick movies. He only picks vulgar movies, and we are very concerned by the amount of films he knows by heart. Do not encourage him.
21. Any and all Vogue magazines go to Mina. She will fight you for them, so it’s best to just give them up.
22. Anyone in the rooms next to Todoroki and Bakugo are on constant fire extinguishing duties. They both generate flame when they sleep, and we’re sick of waking up to fire alarms.
23. Flirting with Deku as a joke to make Todoroki jealous is not smart. He is very scary and will probably internally plan your murder.
24. If Deku texts you at 3 in the morning with a link to a reddit post, do not click on it, do not engage. Tell him to go to sleep, and threaten to wake Todoroki if he doesn’t let up.
25. Having Kirishima burst through a wall and scream “OH YEAHH” as the Cool-Aid man is not worth the money it takes to replace the wall.
26. Oujiro has a tail. This should be obvious. Please be courteous and pay attention before you sit down next to him.
27. Deku can and will physically harm you if you speak ill of All Might. Do not speak ill of All Might.
28. Please don’t leave dirty dishes out. This should be obvious, and it drives Bakugo insane. He’s up past 8 to clean them, and that’s his bedtime.
29. Denki is not a phone charger. He will agree to charge your phone, but if he sneezes you’re all screwed.
30. Do not accept brownies from Sero.
( Posted and written by Iida Tenya, put into more modern terms by Mina )
(Pt2 is here)
(Pt3 is here)
— That is our goal.
— That is our goal.
Bill Nye for most of his career: Imma do science for kids. Science without politics. Nice, tame science for the kiddos.
Bill Nye now:
The next time I see one of those “millenials will be photographing the end of the world” posts I’m gonna scream because let me tell you, I just went through a natural disaster and Snapchat literally saved people’s lives. Thanks to snapchat I knew exactly what roads were flooded, what stores were open, what my HOUSE looked like (since I wasn’t there), and which shelters I could go to. People were snapping/tweeting asking to be rescued and THEY WERE. I didn’t get my news from the tv, I saw it in real time on social media and I will never not be grateful for that.
short summary of the situation in Sudan
important reminder
Happy pride y’all!
If you want to support a little lesbian artist and express yourself in the form of a dragon, you can find all my pride flag buddies here and get them printed on shirts, phone cases, stickers, bags, what have you!
Tv shows that -though widely different- somehow share the exact same chaotic energy:
Pls add more it’s the exact kind of shit I like
via @extramadness
Reasons why you need to see Power Rangers (NO SPOILERS)
1. VERY FIRST ON SCREEN AUTISTIC SUPERHERO
• Said autism is not treated as a weakness and really makes said character the stand out of the movie
2.VERY FIRST ON SCREEN LGBTQ+ SUPERHERO
• It’s not a topic that is dealt with throughout the whole movie. They talk about it for like two minutes
• No one treats said character any differently after the reveal
3. THE WOMEN ARE NOT ONCE DOUBTED TO BE ABLE TO HANDLE THEMSELVES
• Not a single sexist comment throughout the entire movie. Not. One.
• (At least I don’t remember any. I may be wrong but I’m 99% sure I’m right)
4. EVERYONE IS FLAWED OR HAS A ‘disability’
5. ONE OF THE MESSAGES IS THAT DOING AN AWFUL THING DOESN’T MAKE YOU AN AWFUL PERSON
• I can tell you a lot of people need someone to tell them that
6. IT TACKLES A SHIT TON OF ISSUES AND I LOVE THE MOVIE FOR THAT
7. ALPHA FIVE ISN’T HELPLESS AT ALL
8. ZORDON ISN’T PERFECT AND KINDA SELFISH
9. THIS MOVIE WILL FUCK YOU UP WITHOUT A DOUBT
• I cried like three times
10. THE SOUNDTRACK IS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING
• Includes The Score, twenty one pilots, Fitz and The Tantrums, and Tove Lo
11. IT’S STILL POWER RANGERS JUST LESS CHEESY
12. IT’S PRETTY FUCKING FUNNY AT SOME PARTS
13. THEY DON’T GET ALONG AUTOMATICALLY
• It takes a lot of the movie for them to be able to be open with one another
14. THERE IS CAMEO FROM THE ORIGINAL PINK AND GREEN RANGERS
(KK THAT’s ALL I CAN THINK OF RIGHT NOW SO PLS GO SEE IT)
Power Rangers Living Together Headcanon
Created with the help of the lovely @catyz101 and the wonderful @vintagecarter go ahead and give them a follow please.
- Two years after the attack, when the rangers graduate highschool, they decide to build a house together in the mountains near the ship.
-When goldar went down billy managed to save a lot of gold “Like my dad said, you find it you keep it” Needless to say they’re fucking loaded.
-Kim and Trini adopted a cat courtesy of her brothers. The twins found him and managed to keep him for a week before their mom found out and he was sent to live with Trini. “Take care of gato for us” “Wait you named i-” “GATO, is in great hands”
-The cat loves everyone but Zack and Jason. Every time the cat cuddles up to Billy “traitor” can be heard faintly whispered through the house.
-Zack goes to the kitchen at 1 in the morning and finds the cat just sitting there staring at him, they have a staring contest for two mintues until he slowly backs away back into his room.
-They rotate dinner every night. They all make something thats authentic to them but the weekends are take out nights. It an unspoken rule of the house
-Zack almost breaking his neck doing a double take on Trini leaving from Kim’s room in the early morning
-“ITS NOT A WALK OF SHAME IF ITS YOUR OWN HOUSE” Kim passing by headed to the kitchen “you are definitely doing the walk of shame babe.” “KIMBERLY”
-Billy quietly comments from the back “why are you so surprised, thats the 5th time this week.” “Billy, its tuesday”
- “Hello, yes, i found your number in the yellow pages i was calling to tell you that MY BEST FRIEND JUST GOT LAID also a large pizza please”
-Trini watches a novella one day outta habit, and suddenly Jason and Zack are addicted. “No, trini you cant change the channel we are watching that!”
-Kim puts pink hair dye in her shampoo to figure out who keeps using it. The culprit was Jason…… and Trini
-“Who the fuck put jello in the toilet” “You see its not actually jello its this silicone-” “BILLY?!” “I’ll take it you’re upset with me….”
-Theyre the hardware stores best customer. The owner thinks they own a construction company. He is yet to be corrected
-One day the boys come back from the store early and hear a scream in the house. They all barge in too kims room and walk in on the girls. “Oh my god GET OUT” Billy closes his eyes and runs smack into the wall putting a hole in it while jason and Zack are running out dodging pillows.
-“Steve come here girl” “Zack we are not naming our dog Steve” “what about zordon?” “you wanna name my daughter after wall dad? How dare?” “you were about to name her Steve?!” “Personally i thik she looks like a Steve…” “Thank you billy”
-“Oh well if it isnt satan himself coming to visit my room when it does not belong here!” “Guys the cat isnt that bad” “Billy do not speak on matters that do not concern you”
-“Who taught you savages to do the laundry?” “Trini relax.” “Relax? Jason, Isnt it bad enough my hair is pink but now my white tshirts are too because Zack put your shirts in with mine.”
-“Hey yellow, pink, your hell cat just attacked steve.” “Do you dare slander my cats good name?! YOU CAN MEET ME IN THE PIT!!”
-They have color coded bath Towels. Zack likes to steal someone elses each week which isnt a problem until he struts out the bathroom in pink towels when Kim’s parents come to visit.
-“I know DAMN well i had last nights episode of Rupauls drag race recorded who DELETED IT?!?” “Sorry Zack that may have been me, but dont worry i have it recorded on my tv too” “Billy, you are my hero”
-Gato steals steves bed all the time and its the leading cause of argument in the house.
- “Satan’s spawn please, my daughters bed is too big for you and she cannot sleep in your small bed” hiss hiss “Okay that was rude” hiiiisss “TRINI! CONTROL YOUR SON AND GET HIM OUTTA MY DAUGHTERS BED RIGHT NOW”
-Fire alarm goes off at six in the morning. Multiple voices are heard screaming “KIM” from 4 seperate rooms
-She was just making toast.
Ok, so Brie Larson says she thinks an all female Avengers movie would be cool (A Force!) And all these dudes loooooosing their mind. “What about an all MALE Avengers film?” Uh….the first Avengers films you mean. I get that Black Widow was in it, so I’ll compromise. We’ll have Captain Marvel, Scarlet Witch, She Hulk, Wasp, Photon, and Storm…..and Hawkeye.
A Finale Dance
As they danced in that empty, dimly lit gym hall, with none to criticise or see ,they were free from the chains that held them down. They could dance and sing to the beats of their hearts, like the day in the ice rink or the woods.
He was like fire, filled with love and compassion, twirling around letting the air guide him, as his steps were full of life.
She was like water, following through an endless ocean fording her own path, destroying those that doubted her as her heart guided her, making her steps were light and sure.
And as they dipped and lifted each other up, it was like a swirling tornado of hot and cold air. As they twirled around each other, pulling each other close and pushing each other away. Like their hearts verses the world. Forcing each other apart as they desperately wished to pull each other close.
But as the song came to an end, and the heavens finally looked away they knew that it would never be the same even if they wished it to be. They needed each other, to dance, to believe, to be.
But now was not the time, not for them but for the world. So as they stepped apart they decided to let the stars die, before something tried to kill it. Cause they weren't ready for the task ahead, they weren't ready to make history. Not ready to write all the desperately needed to be written, to show all that needed to be known.
Cause they were just two people with stars in their hearts wishing to reunite, they were people with a thousands of stories of tragedy hidden on their skin and a fire in their eyes. They had no armour, no skin of steel, no hearts with barricades. They were just two people wishing to hold each other, two people with souls who have never had the time. Two souls that fell at the wrong time and in the same way.
And so in that empty, dimly lit gym they knew that the right time would never come, it would always be to late or to early. But they couldn't risk it. They no longer had army's guarding their hearts or armour guarding their skin they were human. And they were carrying exhausted souls through the same streets of tragedy, carrying they same love and pain.
So as they looked at each other, hearts heavy, souls tired and deeply in love they turned away. Each walking their own path waiting for a when the time was right. But they knew that the only chance would be to look back and run to each other.
However that would be the guilt and pain they would bear. Alone and healing, wishing for another dance.
But time goes on. Even in heart ships, they will heal, cause they've survived a lot more hardships trying and failing of course. One day though they may succeed. They might get that last dance.
Hey guys, guess what, I’m crying
Now let me tell you why
@astralgabriel posted this gif recently and I realized
Look who he makes a bee-line for
He doesn’t even look at anyone else, he just books it to Sam immediately and he jumps in front of him no one else. He looks almost worried, very protective.
He stops immediately in front of Sam and turns around ready to fuck shit up, knowing damn well he isn’t strong enough to take them, but he still planted himself in front of Sam and I’m emotional.
LOOK AT HIM SQUARING UP IN FRONT OF SAM
He only starts to relax when he realizes Lucifer killed the angels. But guys if you notice, everytime there was something major happening he always checked on Sam and focused on Sam. Just like he stared at Sam before he stepped up to Michael. He looked at Sam back in hammer of the gods. Sam always seems to be the most important thing in his mind in stressful situations. I feel like that little scene in exodus should get more recognition so here @softiesabriel please notice my post ahh. @letbuckyeathisgoddamnplums
Hey guys, guess what, I’m crying
Now let me tell you why
@astralgabriel posted this gif recently and I realized
Look who he makes a bee-line for
He doesn’t even look at anyone else, he just books it to Sam immediately and he jumps in front of him no one else. He looks almost worried, very protective.
He stops immediately in front of Sam and turns around ready to fuck shit up, knowing damn well he isn’t strong enough to take them, but he still planted himself in front of Sam and I’m emotional.
LOOK AT HIM SQUARING UP IN FRONT OF SAM
He only starts to relax when he realizes Lucifer killed the angels. But guys if you notice, everytime there was something major happening he always checked on Sam and focused on Sam. Just like he stared at Sam before he stepped up to Michael. He looked at Sam back in hammer of the gods. Sam always seems to be the most important thing in his mind in stressful situations. I feel like that little scene in exodus should get more recognition so here @softiesabriel please notice my post ahh. @letbuckyeathisgoddamnplums
I’ve always liked anime characters over other characters. There’s just something about the way their written that resonates with us all, I think.
As long as I’m here, you’re invincible
『 09/10』
Tony Stark’s Home for Wayward Monsters
irondad and spiderson fluff
Tony’s life isn’t normal. He’s always known that. Hell, he’s Ironman. He’s been to outer space. Seen planets, defeated monsters, and when his own little boy gets bitten by a radioactive spider, honestly-
It’s all part and parcel of his life.
Peter Stark is the cutest little six year old in the world, as far as Tony and the other avengers are concerned. He’s so tiny, with the chubbiest cheeks and angelic chestnut curls and he bounces around and climbs up ceilings and makes little web-hammocks in the corner of rooms and often scares the life out of his old man by poking his little head down from the ceiling and Tony jumps so hard he nearly breaks his leg.
Peter is also the sweetest thing in the world. He’s such a good kid. Kind to a fault, and Tony would destroy everyone if Peter so much as grazed his knee.
Peter eats all his vegetables and gets excited by homework and is patient and adoring when watching Tony in lab- all big deer eyes and enthusiastically asking if he can have a go with the radioactive goo now, please daddy?
Natasha strolls in after picking Peter up from kindergarten one sunny afternoon, and Tony sips his coffee, frowning at the look on her face. She looks happy. That’s never a great sign-
And then Peter walks in-
He’s got a gigantic husky in his arms. The dog is bigger than him, seriously- but Peter’s strength- Christ- and that dog is all teeth and scabbed fur and-
“Daddy! Daddy! Look, Auntie Nat and I found a puppy!” says the big ball of fur with legs.
Tony stands, immediately wanting to yank Peter away from the dangerous canine, but the husky is apparently very content to be petted as Peter sets him down and then throws his arms around him in a bear hug.
The husky hooks its giant head over Peter’s shoulder- surrounding the boy- and bares his teeth as if Peter’s his young and Tony is the threat when-
Natasha takes pity on him, and hoists Peter easily out of the dog’s hold, and into Tony’s arms.
Peter giggles delightedly- dog fur all over his clothes. “Can we, daddy? Please! Please, please! I’ll look after him, I promise!” And his eyes are so wide and so earnest and-
Tony can’t say no.
***
But he taught his son a lesson that day. He taught his son that scared things, with too many teeth and not enough love, are to be brought up to the penthouse for their new home.
Peter, not two weeks later, comes in with Bruce (who was on pick up duty today, not like it’s a chore, though) and a man smeared with dirt and one very shiny metal arm.
“Daddy!” Peter announces proudly, “this is Bucky!”, and he tugs ‘Bucky’ (who looks so terrifyingly like an assassin that Tony briefly considers suiting up) into the penthouse.
Bruce looks utterly dazed.
Bucky looks frightened.
Ginger- the ferocious, but in actuality adorable, husky, rushes over to lick Peter’s face, and then nuzzle like a cat between Bucky’s legs.
Bucky relaxes, just a little, and pets the dog’s head.
“He was lost, daddy! And he doesn’t have a home!” His little face looks utterly-heart broken, and Tony stares in disbelief.
“I…” Bucky shakes his head, and tries to gently extract his fingers from Peter’s little hands, and looks very confused when the grip doesn’t come away. “I…He found me- I was- in an alley, and he said- something about-“
“A feeling,” Tony sighs. Peter’s ‘spider-sense’. A sort of extra-sense that tells him when something wrong is happening close by. “Listen, Peter- I’m sure Bucky here has-“
“Nowhere to go.” Peter pouts firmly, looking up at Tony with wide-eyes that glimmer with betrayal. “We’re gonna…he’s staying, right daddy?” He whispers, and Tony looks down at his little boy and-
Gives Bucky a guest room.
Just for the night.
***
Three weeks later, Bucky - the winter soldier- is firmly a part of the family. He takes Ginger for walks and has nightmares which make him stay up late at night with Tony in the lab, talking in hushed tones about Hydra, and giving information that’s vital- incredibly vital- to tracking down the last remnants of them.
Steve had taken one look at him and Tony had groaned.
Steve’s eyes had gone immensely blue and his jaw had dropped and Bucky had blushed and-
Tony had pinched the bridge of his nose and poured more coffee, before making Peter another blueberry pancake.
*** Peter is a few days before his seventh birthday, when he comes home with an astounded Clint, and a man with long black hair and angry-defiance in his eyes.
Peter is also dragging a huge hammer in his free hand.
It’s leaving a dent in the floor.
Tony stares.
And then sighs.
So Loki is a god, who Peter and Clint had stumbled across on their way home (maybe Tony should switch Peter’s school) and found Loki crying and trying to lift this hammer.
Peter had thought he’d needed help- and lifted it in one easy motion and now-
His seven year old is heir to the throne of a planet he’s never heard of.
“Cool,” Clint grins, ruffling Peter’s curls as Loki sulks in the corner, “make me a Duke or something, yeah, Petey?”
Peter shakes his head solemnly. “That would be abusing my powers.”
Tony can’t help it- he laughs. But he waggles a stern finger at Loki. “We are not keeping him.”
Loki gapes indignantly. Peter scrunches up his tiny nose in confusion. “But he’s hurt- and we…we help people when they’re sad and lost, don’t we, daddy?”
Bucky doesn’t meet Tony’s eyes, and Tony sighs.
*** It turns out though, Loki only stays for a few months.
And it’s a shame, really, because- goddamnit, the snooty prince was starting to grow on Tony.
Loki could conjure allusions- beautiful and intricate- and had spent a great many hours showing Peter little stories in the air- looking pleased at Peter’s effusive praise over Loki’s talents.
Loki could shape-shift- into anything- but mostly a pretty pony that Peter would ride around the penthouse.
Although, Loki sometimes stared at Tony’s arc-reactor for a touch too long, like he wanted to steal it and its power-
But then Peter would ask for some hot chocolate and tug on the end of Loki’s green robes and-
The god would settle back down.
But then in a hail of thunder and lighting, there’s another god landing in his living room- yelling with joy over having found his brother and his hammer and the new heir to the throne-
And Tony finds himself with the newest member of the avengers.
*** Bucky’s packing to move in with Steve when Peter’s eleven.
Tony muses over how different the penthouse will be without him-
And that’s when Peter comes home with a homeless man.
“He’s not homeless, dad,” Peter rolls his eyes, dragging in the sweaty wreck of a human being in behind him, “he’s got a symbiote.”
“It’s a parasite!” The man chokes desperately, looking like he’d love to run out, but his limbs keep jerkily propelling him forward. “A parasite!”
“Don’t call Venom that!” Peter scolds, reaching out his hand to pat some black goo on Eddie’s arm. “He’s much more than a parasite.”
“Yes, little spider,” croons a hissing voice that Tony- Tony cannot be dealing with this shit right now. “The spider understands. The spider would make a good host. But not better than you, our dearest Eddie-“
Tony hoists Peter up into his arms, settling him on his hip and shaking his head at Eddie (who he’s starting to recognise as that reporter who went missing) and saying firmly: “Ground rule: No using my son as a host.”
Eddie scrubs his face deliriously, and Venom asks for chocolate.
***
On Halloween night, Eddie comes back complaining about the taste of blood in the back of his throat, but his arms are cradled protectively around Peter who’s cuddled into his chest- supported by a tangled mass of black lines.
Tony looks up from his work and jerks to his feet- rushing over to his son.
“Some dude- tried to grab him.” Eddie whispers, and Peter is still crying a little, and Tony holds him tight- heart pounding. “We- I- We- we ate him.” Eddie mumbles. “Sorry.”
Tony decides right then and there, that Eddie might be his favourite… monster?Stray?
Tony spends the whole night eating chocolate with his son, praising him, telling him how kind and good and amazingly brave he is, and Ginger snuffles into Peter’s neck until the boy starts smiling again- wobbly and cautious.
Thor and Loki visit as soon as they realise what’s happened.
They bring a ship full of Asgardian gold.
Bucky comes too- and tells Peter about nightmares and how to make them go away.
Tony thinks there might be a thing to having a home for Wayward….monsters? Strays? Alien-people?
*** When Peter’s sixteen, he brings home a stray in the form of a boyfriend, and Tony is saying no before they’re even introduced.
“Dad,” Peter grins, rocking on his heels excitedly. “This is Wade-“
“No.” Tony says, but he has a horrifying feeling he’s already lost, because Wade is smiling like he won the lottery and- “No.” Tony says again, horrified.
Maybe he will send Peter to be the Asgardian King after all.
At least there won’t be any Wade Wilsons in space.
(Tony says yes, 6 years later, when Wade asks for permission for Peter’s hand. He also blasts him right in the chest with his gauntlet and Wade lets out a little ‘oof’. “You treat him right.” Tony says, though he’s said it before, and Wade has never ever treated Peter wrong. “It’s not just me who’ll destroy you- there are-“
“I get it, I get it. A whole universe of people on Pete’s side. Damn, your son’s really good at making alliances. You know he met some woman the other day? We were walking along and he got this feeling, so we went over to an old blockbusters and this woman named Carol was-“
“No.” Tony says, walking away. “No.”)
The critics are all cowards
trans boy peter parker and genderfluid MJ are gonna be the most iconic couple of the mcu
trans!peter parker
hello i have seen homecoming three times now and i’m obsessed and in love with everything about the movie and the trans!peter headcanon
The first thing i heard about trans!peter was a post talking about how being bullied for being a nerd in school really isnt a common thing anymore, at least in america, and, if anything, in my experience, it tends to be the smartest kids that are actually the most popular. And the post raised the question: So what if peter is actually bullied because he’s trans? And that makes so much sense. And being a trans boy in high school myself and absolutely on board with the headcanon i thought i’d join in and add some things. Some of these other people may have talked about also.
“I am not a GIRL. IM A BOY. I mEAN IM A MAN.” peter gets very upset when donald glover’s character calls him a girl. his voice breaks and he gets visibly flustered.
Flash calls him “Penis Parker”. speaking from experience, high school bullies are not very creative with nicknames and will always go straight for the deepest insecurity they know. I personally think this is a dig at peter being trans.
Peter has proportionally quite small hands and feet.
He enjoys playing with things like Legos and Star Wars action figures. possibly because he didn’t get to when he was little.
He has quite a high pitched voice which he has difficulty controlling the depth of.
May’s comment about his body changing and him not feeling like he can fit in at a classmate’s party makes much more sense if you think of peter as trans.
Ned asks Peter if the spider venom gave him the ability to lay eggs, which is a bizarre question to begin with, but even stranger if being asked of an amab person. but this likely doesn’t have any substance as it was obviously just meant to be a funny moment, which it was, i laughed out loud all three times i heard it.
Peter doesn’t have much in the way of sideburns.
He’s pretty short.
The gym classes at Peter’s school are not separated by gender and they all wear the same uniform.
Most of his clothes are quite big on him. In my own experience, shopping in the men’s sections in stores doesn’t tend to go very well in terms of finding things that fit. Additionally, baggier clothes help to hide the chest and hip areas.
He doesn’t know how to tie a tie. Now this seems unimportant at first, but i actually think it could mean a lot, so hear me out. Considering how many clubs and extra curriculars he’s in (robotics, marching band, decathlon, etc.) he should have been to many recitals, concerts, competitions, etc that would require him to wear a tie throughout his intermediate and high school years. It’s weird that neither him nor may would know how to tie one. unless- he’s never done it before because he’d always worn the traditionally feminine uniform or formal wear.
Now, there’s those two shirtless scenes that some people have been using to discredit the headcanon where he’s clearly muscular and flat chested with no visible scars. Well, my doubtful friends, there’s the possibility of a keyhole surgery which leaves minimal scarring. Also, the spider venom increases muscle growth and metabolism, and also gives peter a mild healing factor. This could have caused any scars he had to heal and fade completely.
now obviously i realize not all of this inherently means he’s trans. cis guys can be short or have small hands and feet or high pitched voices or rounder hairlines, especially when they’re only 15 years old and everyone is growing at a different rate. These things just flesh out the headcanon a bit more.
tl;dr: Peter Parker is an endlessly adorable trans boy and the hero we all need.
Being a social outcast for being a nerd isn’t that accurate anymore, cause being a nerd is more socially acceptable and cool than 50 years ago. So, consider this: Peter Parker being a social outcast not only cause he is a nerd but also cause he is a trans boy
thor, dragging loki out of the ark by the hood of their coat: come on loki, lighten up! meeting the avengers won’t be so bad! you might even make some friends!
loki: lies. i don’t make friends, especially not with superheroes.
thor: what am i then?
loki: an inconvenience.
thor: you’re so mean. fine, be that way.
loki, standing in the corner while everyone else is catching up: *sulking*
peter parker, approaching cautiously: hi
loki, sighing, but smiling a little too: hello small child.
peter: i’m peter. and you’re loki, right?
loki: yes
peter: what are your pronouns?
loki: … what?
peter: i, uh, read some books on norse mythology, because i think thor is kinda cute, oh, no i just said that, oh no, i don’t mean it in a i want to date him way, he’s way too old for me, i just think he’s- uh, not relevant. anyways some of the books said that you weren’t always a guy, and i mean, that’s cool, awesome, i’m trans, it’s actually kind of cool to meet someone else who isn’t cis, oh, oh boy i’m rambling again anyways i just wanted to um. ask for your pronouns
loki: *tearing up* you… wanted to…
peter: SHIT! oh, fuck, i didn’t mean to swear. oh no. oh no. oh no i’m so sorry it probably wasn’t okay to ask you that it’s super personal and obviously you are very different from the mythology books i found i just thought that-
loki: i’m adopting you.
Teacher: I changed the due date for that project I assigned you all, it's due tomorrow!
Class: *screams*
Teacher: Got you! April fools!
Rin: Haha, who needs April Fools when your entire life is one big, sick joke!
Rin: ...
Rin: ...I'm about to start crying.
Suguro: Shit, dude. C'mere.
Rin, in Suguro's arms: I was raised in a monastery, Suguro. A monastery! The son of Satan, raised in a monastery! My LAST NAME is a play on the word "demon" in Japanese!
Rin, now sobbing: IT'S ONE HUGE FUCKING JOKE WITHOUT A PUNCHLINE
In relation to love, Yin Yang is a composition of opposites, who can complete each other by “filling in the blanks” of the other’s abilities, find the other missing pieces and together become a flawless whole.