woahitzlizz

Latest Posts by woahitzlizz

Guy wearing "I ❤️ Arson" Shirt: Let me redecorate your house.

Voters: Okay.

Voters, later: Oh, no, the house is on fire!

Firefighter: I can put it out but you need to kick out the arsonist guy.

Voters: Whatever! Do it!

Voters, later: Ew, the house smells like smoke!

Firefighter: Okay? It was on fire earlier. I'm still dealing with it.

Guy wearing "I ❤️ Arson and Killing Firefighters" Shirt: Let me back in and I'll fix the smoke issue.

Firefighter: Don't! He will literally set your house on fire again. He brought a whole crew with matches and cans of gasoline with him.

Voters: I'm pretty sure those are paint cans.

Firefighter: It says gasoline on the cans!

Voters: Get out, I'm gonna let the previous guy in.

Go, my chaos gremlins! FLY, MY PRETTIES!

trump dies of congestive heart failure before being sworn in charge to like cast to reblog

I don’t know how to say this in a non-obsessed way, but I need the ao3 status updates to be beamed straight into my head whenever the archive goes down. I need that shit announced like we’re in a plane attempting to make a risky landing. Oh we’re down for another 20 minutes because of a server in the Pacific? Sure, thanks. I’ll just wait here.

sometimes i struggle with the fact that i actually may be a stone bottom, a pillow princess, never wanting to top or dom. im afraid i’ll never be seen as enough by any partner i have, that i’ll be labeled as lazy or selfish for not “reciprocating” in a way that’s expected. i’m scared that i’ll be treated differently for not being able to keep up with expectations or things i had said in the heat of the moment. what if i’m not enough? what if i can’t make you cum the way you make me cum? what if i can’t fulfill a desire you have? i don’t want to wear a strap, don’t want to be the one in control, i can’t be. i don’t want to disappoint but i can’t change the way my brain is wired, can’t change the desires i have that need to be understood too.

You won't get media with messier, more nuanced, more realistic queer characters if you keep flying off the handle the second a fictional character has sex, does drugs, swears too much, or acts vaguely like an asshole.

You won't get more diverse queer media with wider stories if you can't handle it when queer artists make art that is raunchy, crude, edgy, and gross.

You won't get more diverse queer media if you shut everything down the second it does something you, personally, get squicked out by.

You will never get more diverse queer media if you contribute to the way queer media is picked apart, raked over the coals, and held to unreasonably high standards.

You will never get what you want if you keep tearing queer artists down for their weird experimental art instead of learning how to say, "this isn't for me, that's fine, and I'll be over here in my own space."

Need to have the stress n sadness fucked out of me RIGHT NOW.

*taps mic* STEVE HARRINGTON IS NOT STUPID.

Thank you for your time.

nah since marvel is trending again I’m going to say it again louder for the people in back — canon steve rogers would never have chosen an “idyllic 1950s white pickett fence life” because the only place that man belonged was a picket LINE. the whole point of his character was that his work was never done. there was always going to be another oppressor, another bully, another person who takes advantage of the underprivileged for him to stand up to. from the moment he gained consciousness he, a chronically ill son of a working class mother living below the poverty line, used his voice and his body to protect & fight for what he believed in. I’m not sure there was ever a time pre-super soldier serum where he didn’t have a black eye. he could put the shield down all he wanted but he could never retire from being steve rogers — someone who never once turned a blind eye, who never once wanted a “reward” for his work, who never once abandoned his friends. this isn’t up for debate. this is almost a century of comic book & film/animated precedent. he may have been a man out of time, but in his words “it’s tempting to want to live in the past. it’s familiar, it’s comfortable. but it’s where fossils come from”

"Why can't the freaks on AO3 just go and make a site for all the gross stuff and leave AO3 alone."

Because AO3 is that site. Because AO3 was that site long before you decided AO3 was better than the sites you bullied us off of before, and I can promise you if someone somehow comes up with a fanfic site you like better specifically for the 'gross stuff' you'll try to bully us off that too so you can benefit from it.

AO3's specific core purpose is to preserve fanfiction, yes, but it was also instigated as a host site for the fanfiction that kept getting yeeted off other platforms like Wattpad. Its designed to preserve all fanfiction, not just the fanfiction you, personally, think is 'allowed' to be written.

AO3 is the site for all the gross stuff the freaks make. We've been there just as long as you. We've been funding it just as long as you have. AO3 has specifically said you have a place here. The timeline was literally:

Wattpad/FF.net/LiveJournal purge fanfics > AO3 is born > The people who's fics got purged moved over to AO3 > AO3 gains popularity as the best functioning site > The people who pushed for the fics to be purged off Wattpad move to AO3 > The same people try to push for AO3 to purge fics.

AO3's source coding is open-access. You go make a polished, strict, rigid site where nothing 'icky' is allowed. You go make a site where you can control what is hosted. We already have our space.

all ao3 jokes aside, let’s all give thanks to the wonderful volunteers that are working hard to get the site back up and running so that homebodies like us don’t become stir crazy.

Ao3 is actually massively culturally important and very very good at being what it is. I’m so serious when I say that ao3 needs to be protected as the anti censorship, by fans for fans, nonprofit, volunteer run, expertly designed archival site that it is. You don’t have to read or like fanfiction to understand that on principle, ao3 is a site that should be defended.

Strap from a lesbian who is going to tell you that they're gonna breed you and get you pregnant and they fuck you like they're trying to put a baby in you!

When will my husband (Ao3) return from war (is up again)

fanfiction was such a good idea. like put those guys in situations

the fact that lesbians can't cum inside each other is a damn crime

I want a girl to make me ride her strap for the first time so bad. I want her to guide me on how to do it, how to hit those spots inside me, I want her to do nothing but just watch my awkward pathetic attempts to be able to do it right to get any relief "c'mon baby make yourself feel good for me" doing nothing but kissing my neck and chest, lightly gropping me smiling as she knows I just can't fucking cum without her

i can’t stop thinking about a woman absolutely ruining my pussy with her biggest, thickest strap.. sliding it in inch by inch as she strokes my hair and whispers in my ear about how good i am for taking her so well. i want to feel her stretching me out, making me whimper because it’s “so big, i can’t take it all” only for her to shush me and push it in to the hilt, pounding me until my eyes roll back and all i can think about is being owned by her

I can’t be the only one who would rather be fucked in a cute lil skirt or dress instead of being naked right?? Don’t undress me just push up my skirt and rip my panties off and do me just like that 💕

WOMEN IN SUITS, I REPEAT WOMEN IN SUITS

kinda want to be used as a stress reliever. let me be a good girl for you while you use me however you want and as rough as you want. once you feel better, we can cuddle in bed and exchange soft kisses.

men and minors dni

i just realized that i’d definitely be the first to go in a horror movie, like i’d see something/somebody looking hurt and i’d go see if i could help it/them, and then bam *insert stab or other horror shit here*

>>>>>this

i just want to have incredibly possessive sex. pls own me. i’m yours

My heart goes out to the Irish in these trying times. May you not contract alcohol poisoning from celebrating the news

Feeding #1 (sfw version)

I’ve been working on these pages for SO long. Currently there are five parts in progress, for a spicy Patreon series…🦇✨

Follow up to one of my favourites from last Halloween:

I just think being tied up while they find out exactly how many times I can cum in a row before I pass out would fix me

ngl i’m kinda stresso depresso, just got rejected from my major and now i have no clue what to do with my life, sure i have an AA degree but that’s nothing to companies, fuck me

Reblog if you say "Y'all"