Every “failure” Is A Lesson

I recently read somewhere, "Maybe gossips are envy in disguise".

I think we need to stop talking about others in a negative light because we don't see their pain or struggles.

If they gossip with you, they will also gossip about you.

why are birds so cursed

Things I want to learn

Recently, I realised there are so many things I want to research and learn, I had to write it all down. I wanted to share these with you today!:

📚 Thing to research:

politics

nutrition

investing

dog care/animal care in general

zero waste living

veganism

intuitive eating

solo travel

music and rhythm

herbology

map reading

fashion

home design

etiquette

bitcoin

taxes

🔨 Skills to try, learn or practice:

cooking

german

spanish

dancing

baking

gardening¨

digital art

photography

art (traditional methods)

yoga

programming

sewing

writing

mushroom picking

public speaking

makeup

photoshop

embroydery

czech sign language

laundry

hair styling

splits

blogging

Feel free to take inspiration and if you have more ideas please share them with me!

Things I Learned In Research

I only finished my first research project out of many, but I already learned some game-changing things that I wish I knew earlier.

1. It’s okay to mess up. In fact, it should be encouraged (within reason). You learn so many more intimate details about your work from mistakes than from successes. PCRs fail even when you’re careful, and animal models don’t behave like they’re supposed to. Undergrad labs can make you feel stupid when your experiment doesn’t work, but in research, mistakes happen all the time. Document them and learn from them. 

2. There’s a lot of waiting around. Experiments can be slow. Progress in your project can be even slower. Manage your time between experiments so that it’s not wasted; read, write a chapter, scribble some ideas, or just close your eyes and think. All time is valuable. 

3. If you can figure out a new way to do something, do it. There might not be a formal protocol you have to follow. If you think of an efficient way to observe something, go for it. Practice thinking outside the box. 

4. There’s a lot less rules than you think there are. Of course, follow lab safety rules. But the lab is a resource- use it. You don’t have to walk on eggshells somewhere you belong. 

5. Stay true to your findings. This isn’t an undergrad laboratory course. You’re looking at novel stuff here. Don’t play up or fake your data to impress your supervisor. That helps no one- tell it like it is. Believe in your work. 

6. Your lab mates are not here to criticize you. They are your colleagues and mentors- ask them for help if you need it. Your work is important to their work too. You matter just as much as them. 

I can’t possibly list all the things I learned, because this research experience has changed how I think in such integral ways, but here are a few anyway. I’m sure this is only the beginning. 

Feel free to add anything that you learned!

At age 23, Tina Fey was working at a YMCA. At age 23, Oprah was fired from her first reporting job.  At age 24, Stephen King was working as a janitor and living in a trailer. 

At age 27, Vincent Van Gogh failed as a missionary and decided to go to art school.   At age 28, J.K. Rowling was a suicidal single parent living on welfare.

At age 28, Wayne Coyne ( from The Flaming Lips) was a fry cook. At age 30, Harrison Ford was a carpenter.  At age 30, Martha Stewart was a stockbroker.  At age 37, Ang Lee was a stay-at-home-dad working odd jobs. Julia Child released her first cookbook at age 39, and got her own cooking show at age 51. Vera Wang failed to make the Olympic figure skating team, didn’t get the Editor-in-Chief position at Vogue, and designed her first dress at age 40. Stan Lee didn’t release his first big comic book until he was 40. Alan Rickman gave up his graphic design career and landed his first movie role at age 42. Samuel L. Jackson didn’t get his first major movie role until he was 46.

Morgan Freeman landed his first major movie role at age 52. Kathryn Bigelow won the Academy Award for Best Director when she made The Hurt Locker at age 57. Grandma Moses didn’t begin her painting career until age 76. Louise Bourgeois didn’t become a famous artist until she was 78. Whatever your dream is, it is not too late to achieve it. You aren’t a failure because you haven’t found fame and fortune by the age of 21. Hell, it’s okay if you don’t even know what your dream is yet. Even if you’re flipping burgers, waiting tables or answering phones today, you never know where you’ll end up tomorrow. Never tell yourself you’re too old to make it. 

Never tell yourself you missed your chance. 

Never tell yourself that you aren’t good enough. 

You can do it. Whatever it is. 

FUTURE HOME CHECKLIST

Just me listing off my criterias for house shopping 🏠 can be either as is, or to renovate into my criterias. This post has been clipped since it is pretty long 💎

Kitchen

Enough space for table for six

Always gonna have a flower bouquet at all times

Plenty of cupboards/integrated storage space, must be flat and shiny. No rustic stuff.

White porcelain double sink

French door or vintage style fridge

Either: sleek porcelain or hardwood floor

Skylight

Must be easy to clean, no weird corners, everything is neat and simplified.

Bathrooms

BATH is a MUST. No plastic showers in never ever.

Rain shower

Big windows, to hook up plants, creating a somewhat tropical ambience.

Chandelier

Plenty of storage. Never want to see ugly clutter

Natural: wood, stone, creamy and woody colors, maybe a bit of color but nothing I can't remove easily.

Romantic ambience, but nothing gaudy. Something that's eternally good taste.

Bedroom

Interesting architectural elements

Organized according to Feng Shui, not too big (I prefer smaller bedrooms) nor cramped. Something cozy, harmonious, just right.

Natural textures, linen curtains herringbone wood HEATED floor, balcony or private patio, and so on.

Connected to a bath near the bed. A MUST. Imagine dipping in warm water right before bed 💕

Multiple mirrors. Just because.

Hot water tap in the joined bathroom. I know it's weird as hell, bit imagine brewing a nighttime tea before bed you know

Might go super romantic, or super dramatic. Don't know yet on that one but changes are cheap.

Living room

I know this is going to be weird... But I want zero projector nor TV in my house whatsoever. I don't need flimed media to be satisfied. Instead, give me books and crafts and I'll be happy 💕 so a living room centered around interacting, reading and other non-screen pastimes seems so nice.

Yet again, wood will have some presence for sure. Floor, details, etc. Moldings are a must.

At least two COZY seatings centered around a fireplace, with a interesting coffee table filled with strange books.

Plenty of blankets and cushions. No discussion.

Big windows giving to nature. The outdoor gardening will be nonexistent as forest will be my garden... Maybe a few blooming bushes there and there but everything stays very natural.

ETIQUETTE

The is your guide to ettiquite in daily life. Whether it’s table manners, or just everyday mannerisms that you can pick up.

BASIC ETIQUETTE

Let this sink in, be yourself. You are worthy of being treated courteously

A fundamental rule of good manners is to give. When you meet someone, it’s always good to think of a genuine compliment.

Don’t be boastful, arrogant, or loud. When in polite company, always exercise self control and good taste

Speak with kindness, but also speak with caution. This includes over sharing, being too critical. Your behaviour and even your clothing should reflect understated elegance.

Demeaning someone with a rude joke or an unwelcome nickname is disrespectful and should be avoided (being around those you’re close with that’s the norm of course).

TABLE ETIQUTTE

If you are someone’s guest, you must wait for a signal before sitting

If you are a host, point out chairs for your guest.

If you are sitting with someone who is left handed, it’s best that they sit on the left end or the head of the table.

Before eating, it’s best to wait until everyone has there food. However, if there’s a surplus of people, wait for the host to begin to eat.

Remember , used silverware should NEVER touch the table, have them rest in your plate. On that point, it is best to order food that can be eaten with a knife and fork in formal dining.

If you must leave, always excuse yourself.

PUBLIC SPEAKING

of course this can work with just general conversation, but these are the best tips I know.

Get some rest. When your energy level is compromised, you may struggle to deliver a concise message.

Inject humour. It will be helpful as presenting yourself as relatable.

Stay mindful of the sound of your own voice.

Pay attention to signals, tbhs can include not responding, backing away, looking away, body language is the feedback you need when you’re not sure when to stop talking about something.

THE DONT’S OF ETIQUETTE

Texting constantly, or checking your phone

Using R-rated language in a G-rated environment

Telling off-colour jokes

Interrupting or monopolising the conversation

Acting like a know it all

Gossip- I know it’s hard not to indulge, but this is one of the most dangerous things to do.

List of products and little tips that have made my skin (and my life) better pt. 2🌸

once again, this turned out way longer than expected, but this particular post doesn’t have as many product recommendations as pt. 1. this is more focused on tips that, i feel, make me a better version of myself

*the links show the brands i use but there are cheaper options you can find that work just as well

• shower at least two times a day.

• after showering at night use a pumice stone to remove dead skin from your feet then coat your feet with shea butter and put on socks overnight.

• have a diy manicure weekly. even if you dont paint your nails, make sure theyre clean and trimmed (or get your nails done professionally, whatever floats your boat.

• floss.

• y’all know im a natural ho when it comes to things i put in or on my body. ive always struggled with my teeth. they were yellow asf and i didn’t like it (if you dont care if your teeth are yellow and love them that way, kudos for you, i am not). i tried turmeric, oil pulling method, banana peels, strawberries, charcoal, baking soda… basically everything and it didnt work (these may work for some but they didn’t for me) so i bought crest strips and bitch. for $22 i have the whitest teeth ive ever had. it may not work for everyone but it did for me(ik that some dentists and orthodontists offer whitening services but my mom had it done and she has had sensitive gums ever since so due it at your own discretion).

• for fucks sake. clean. your. damn. ears. theres this beautiful invention called Q-Tips. use them.

• NEVER look at the floor while walking. look straight forward. if you make eye contact with a stranger, smile. this shows confidence and tbh i hate it when people, specially attractive girls, give you a nasty look. just smile. youll look good and possibly even male someones day.

• again, eye contact is hot. make eye contact. always.

• be polite and friendly. when entering a place say “good morning”, when leaving say “have a nice/good afternoon/evening”.

• your back should always be straight. posture is attractive.

• wake up early. (i usually wake up at six, go to the gym and in my opinion its the best way to start your day. ik its not for everyone but if you can, do so).

• do not. DO. NOT. drink sodas. its bad for you. plain and simple. drink water.

• try to get in 8 hours at the gym weekly. you dont have to go the 7 days but if you to two hours a day and have rests days in between youll be good. (before someone starts talking shit, im not saying to do two hours of cardio. nope. you do you. you can do 30 minutes of cardio and do weights or mat exercises for the remaining time. i usually do 1 hour of cardio and 1 hour of whatever i feel like doing (legs, arms, abs… sometimes i’ll combine them))

• i developed the bad habit of weighing myself everyday and im currently going to the gym and trying to lose weight so it’s frustrating if i dont lose as much as i wanted or stay the same weight. so if you can, try to weigh yourself only once a week. this is a tip im trying to apply to myself because obsessing over one’s weight is just unhealthy.

• if you part your hair, make sure the line is straight, not necessarily centralized.

• i have curly hair and my life has been a constant cycle of buying different hair products bc none of them ever seem to work but ive been using shea butter mixed with vanilla oil and damn. my hair has never looked/smelled better.

• own nice pjs. you never know if theres an emergency and you have to run out of your house with what you’re wearing. (i dont sleep with clothes so i just keep my silk robe near my bed whenever i go to sleep)

• this goes for underwear too. if you have hispanic parents you know what im talking about. (i don’t believe in period underwear. fight me.)

• please. please. always match your bra and panties. i was at the mall the other day and saw a woman bend over and her panties where beige……. her bra straps were black. just no. (im not saying i have a problem with seeing bra straps. but just make sure theyre the same color as your underwear.)

• get your hair professionally cut at least twice a year. if you can cut your own hair and not butcher it while doing it go ahead!

• stop eating foods you know bloat you.

• if you want to lose weight, dont focus on doing targeted exercises like crunches and squats. Do cardio. (not saying that you shouldn’t squat once in a while, but cardio helps you loose weight while targeted/focused excersices tone)

• if you happen to go to Planet fitness and want to shed a few pounds. use the Arc Trainer. its the best machine for weight loss.

• dont use setting powder after concealing your eyelids (gotta thank my girl daisy marquez i love her)

• when buying gift sets at sephora, only buy hair/skin care sets (a friend of mine used to work at sephora and said only to do so if you wanted to try certain products for the first time bc its not really cost effective)

• y’all gotta stop sleeping on stores like marhsalls and tjmaxx when you can be saving loads of money (ask an employee which day of the week they put out new merch)

• invest in silk sheets (trust me if/when you shave your legs you’ll know what heaven feels like)

• make a cup of tea and sit down and enjoy a book

• the B E S T brand for lip balms is burt bees. i love the peppermint one but they are all truly good.

• buy a diva cup. they are comfortable. cost effective. personally i dont like having to change my pad every 2-3 hours and a diva cup can be used for up to 12 hours. i changed like 5 times a day during my cycle while wearing pads and now i change around 15 times per cycle. you have to be absolutely comfortable with your body, especially your vagina to start wearing them tbh (diva cups come in two sizes i believe model 1 model 2 i bought both because my first two days are my heaviest flows. so during the first days i use the biggest one and use the small the rest of the cycle.) if you want me to make a post about my experience wearing them let me know!

• castor oil hair mask every two weeks.

• invest in scrub gloves for life changing, smooth skin. (although i shower 2-3 times a day i only scrub at night then coat my whole body with shea butter) \ let me know if y’all want my night routine merged with my boob/butt care routine in another post!

• get a journal/agenda and plan your week (i got this bullet journal)

• always make your bed in the morning

• if you like someones outfit, tell them. if you like someones smile. tell them. give compliments every once in a while.

• dont judge people’s clothing, specially if they’re fat and youre thinking some shit like “theres types of clothes for those type of bodies”. just shut the fuck up. i do agree that there are types of clothes for every ocasion but not for bodies. if you, a skinny girl, can wear a crop top in public, so can a fat girl. (this coming from someone who used to be very fat and stopped wearing crop tops in public bc of mean ass bitches)

• if youre in an office, wether it be a doctors or some government office or whatever, dont be talking loudly on the phone. me and the rest of the population hate you if you do this. it’s annoying and rude. nobody cares if your sisters bestfriends boyfriend had sex with a dog. i really dont care. if you HAVE to talk on the phone, quietly exit the room and talk all you want.

• a friend of mine (a girl) told me that she doesnt hold the door for anyone, and i mean ANYONE, bc she’s a lady. thats bullshit. if you see a woman with a stroller, an old lady, or basically anyone, hold the door for them. its plain rude for you to let the door slam in someones face bc you believe everyone should treat you like a lady. (im not sayin they shouldn’t but act like a lady, not a bitch)

• iron your clothes.

• never use your phone at the table.

• dont point out acne or sun burns.

• if youre a vegan or vegetarian or eat, protein shakes are always a good breakfast option if youre in a hurry or dont want to cook

• if you have acne scars mix an egg white and an apricot in the blender. thank me later.

• buy african black soap for better skin. (if you have sensitive skin i wouldn’t recommend it tbh)

• if youre at the gym: fucking wear appropriate attire. (ive seen girls with jean shorts and flannels wrapped around their waists… i get that some girls wear red lipstick to feel hot and theres nothing wrong with that. but dont lie to me and say that you’re comfortable running with jeans rubbing against your thighs. everyone is probably judging you.)

• always tip your waiters/waitresses. if the service is good tip atleast 15%. (i always tip 20% / if you have a favorite restaurant and you like a particular waiter/waitress ask for them to serve you. its more likely youll get a better service.) whenever i go to my favorite restaurant the same guy always comes to my table and we chat. he memorized what appetizers, main courses, and desserts my family usually orders so when i go there hes like “welcome to *****, 2 lemonades and a room temp bottle water?” and same goes for appetizers and the rest of the meal. always be friendly to your waiters/waitresses. always.

• smile more often and remember self-care isn’t selfish.

~~~~~~~~~~

im sorry this took so long to post… i hope some of these are helpful. reblog if you’d like to see a pt. 3¿? theres not much more to add but i constantly change products and routines so who knows.

it’s the smallest habits. how you spend your mornings. how you talk to yourself. what you read. what you watch. who you share your energy with. who has access to you. that will change your life.

bellalovecoach ~ Instagram