A Relationship Is Not A Wishlist.

ETIQUETTE

The is your guide to ettiquite in daily life. Whether it’s table manners, or just everyday mannerisms that you can pick up.

BASIC ETIQUETTE

Let this sink in, be yourself. You are worthy of being treated courteously

A fundamental rule of good manners is to give. When you meet someone, it’s always good to think of a genuine compliment.

Don’t be boastful, arrogant, or loud. When in polite company, always exercise self control and good taste

Speak with kindness, but also speak with caution. This includes over sharing, being too critical. Your behaviour and even your clothing should reflect understated elegance.

Demeaning someone with a rude joke or an unwelcome nickname is disrespectful and should be avoided (being around those you’re close with that’s the norm of course).

TABLE ETIQUTTE

If you are someone’s guest, you must wait for a signal before sitting

If you are a host, point out chairs for your guest.

If you are sitting with someone who is left handed, it’s best that they sit on the left end or the head of the table.

Before eating, it’s best to wait until everyone has there food. However, if there’s a surplus of people, wait for the host to begin to eat.

Remember , used silverware should NEVER touch the table, have them rest in your plate. On that point, it is best to order food that can be eaten with a knife and fork in formal dining.

If you must leave, always excuse yourself.

PUBLIC SPEAKING

of course this can work with just general conversation, but these are the best tips I know.

Get some rest. When your energy level is compromised, you may struggle to deliver a concise message.

Inject humour. It will be helpful as presenting yourself as relatable.

Stay mindful of the sound of your own voice.

Pay attention to signals, tbhs can include not responding, backing away, looking away, body language is the feedback you need when you’re not sure when to stop talking about something.

THE DONT’S OF ETIQUETTE

Texting constantly, or checking your phone

Using R-rated language in a G-rated environment

Telling off-colour jokes

Interrupting or monopolising the conversation

Acting like a know it all

Gossip- I know it’s hard not to indulge, but this is one of the most dangerous things to do.

They’ll probably mispronounce my name at my funeral

[28/05/13]

are your excuses more important than your dreams?

need to get more motivation for mid-yearlies from somewhere

Studying is so unnecessarily hated, so can just appreciate the sheer aesthetic of studying?

Waking up early and drinking green tea with textbooks on your lap as light spills in through the open windows. Laying out post-its and notebooks and coloured pens as you begin to write colour coordinated notes for each subject. Having textbooks and notebooks spread out all over your desk with your laptop in the center, as you make powerpoint presentations for each chapter. The feeling of scribbling down formulae that you pin up all over your walls, creating a colourful display of knowledge in your room. Having a binder filled to the brim with detailed diagrams with annotations and post-its all over them.

And if you’re chaotic and messy and disorganised? That’s equally aesthetic!

Having pinned your hair up in a messy bun as you sit on the floor, surrounded by open binders that have pages upon pages of notes spilling out of them. Sticking your pencil through that bun because you can’t find your rubber band and then cursing two minutes later because where is my pencil it was right here. Piles of used coffee cups and plates from the hundreds of different snacks that have just piled up in your room. Messy diagrams sellotaped to the bookshelves because you can’t find any of your notebooks. Random pieces of information scribbled on the cuff of your jeans because there’s no more space on your arms and you can’t find a spare bit of paper. That one page of notes that you made that was actually informative and organised before it trailed off into three pages of doodles.

Studying is aesthetic. And the aesthetic of studying is a fucking great motivator to start doing it.

Read this if you want study motivation!

• There’s a reason you’re studying what you’re studying. It’s is fun, it’s enjoyable, it’s something you like. Your studies aren’t a chore, they’re a hobby! Try to see them that way!

• Taking notes? Yay! Perfect opportunity to let your creativity flow! Now, you don’t have to have a journal you make super fancy, handwritten, colour coded notes in (don’t get me wrong, I love those, and bless the people who post pictures of theirs but grr! it’d just take me too much time!) - you can create a Google Docs document and use some fun fonts and add some pretty aesthetic pictures! Works just as well! And it’s fun!

• No matter how you’ve decided to be creative, the act of creativity itself will give you both a sense of accomplishment and of purpose (which is something I - and I suspect quite a few other people - struggle with sometimes). Yeah, it might take up a little bit of your time, but it’s totally worth it long-term because once you’re done you have a super pretty document/journal that will up the ~vibe~ every time you sit down to study! Besides, it’s totally up to you how much time you want to spend on your little project.

• The excitement you feel when you encounter the stuff you’ve learned out in the real world is amazing. I still remember when I was twelve and a friend and I were baking and were overjoyed about being able to say “hey, this is an emulsion! this is what we talked about in chemistry!” and oh my god you feel so nerdy and so smart and happy and it’s great.

• Studying really gives you a way of seeing life in a new light. It makes you so much more appreciative of the little things. If you study biology you’ll suddenly think about vacuoles when you’re watering your plants, study prejudice and racism and you’ll suddenly be able to tell when someone’s being an ass and have the tools to call them out on it like a boss, study psychology and chuckle at the cheesy commercial using psychologically appealing colours to try to get you to buy things, study geology and smile because now you’re able to tell that “that’s metamorphic rock”. Be nerdy and suddenly the world is filled with wonders.

• Getting started is one of the most difficult steps. Or rather, that period of time right after you’ve gotten started when you get to the point of “oh, I don’t immediately know everything there is to know in this field. hm.” or “what do you mean I won’t establish my own superior drawing style after just one drawing”. Many of us want things to flow when we learn. We don’t want it to be too difficult, or take up too much time and effort, or require too much dedication. We’d rather skip the step of having to learn how to ride the bike because, well, it’s annoying and kinda boring, and rather head straight to the part where we zoom down a hill like it’s the most natural thing in the world. I’m so sorry to break this to you, but you’re gonna have to know how to maneuver the thing before you reach the “wind in my hair” phase.

• How do you make it through the boring and annoying stuff then? I’d say focus on the very things I’ve written about in this post. Focus on why you decided to try the thing out in the first place; what was it that pulled you in? What goals do you want to reach? Focus on the fact that this is something you want to do - like to do! - and not something you have to do. Focus on appreciating the things you learn rather than solely focusing on what you haven’t learnt yet; take that newfound knowledge and rant to a friend, rant to your family, rant on your tumblr or in your journal. You know stuff! You’ve learnt stuff! How amazing is that?! 

Things I Learned In Research

I only finished my first research project out of many, but I already learned some game-changing things that I wish I knew earlier.

1. It’s okay to mess up. In fact, it should be encouraged (within reason). You learn so many more intimate details about your work from mistakes than from successes. PCRs fail even when you’re careful, and animal models don’t behave like they’re supposed to. Undergrad labs can make you feel stupid when your experiment doesn’t work, but in research, mistakes happen all the time. Document them and learn from them. 

2. There’s a lot of waiting around. Experiments can be slow. Progress in your project can be even slower. Manage your time between experiments so that it’s not wasted; read, write a chapter, scribble some ideas, or just close your eyes and think. All time is valuable. 

3. If you can figure out a new way to do something, do it. There might not be a formal protocol you have to follow. If you think of an efficient way to observe something, go for it. Practice thinking outside the box. 

4. There’s a lot less rules than you think there are. Of course, follow lab safety rules. But the lab is a resource- use it. You don’t have to walk on eggshells somewhere you belong. 

5. Stay true to your findings. This isn’t an undergrad laboratory course. You’re looking at novel stuff here. Don’t play up or fake your data to impress your supervisor. That helps no one- tell it like it is. Believe in your work. 

6. Your lab mates are not here to criticize you. They are your colleagues and mentors- ask them for help if you need it. Your work is important to their work too. You matter just as much as them. 

I can’t possibly list all the things I learned, because this research experience has changed how I think in such integral ways, but here are a few anyway. I’m sure this is only the beginning. 

Feel free to add anything that you learned!

FUTURE HOME CHECKLIST

Just me listing off my criterias for house shopping 🏠 can be either as is, or to renovate into my criterias. This post has been clipped since it is pretty long 💎

Kitchen

Enough space for table for six

Always gonna have a flower bouquet at all times

Plenty of cupboards/integrated storage space, must be flat and shiny. No rustic stuff.

White porcelain double sink

French door or vintage style fridge

Either: sleek porcelain or hardwood floor

Skylight

Must be easy to clean, no weird corners, everything is neat and simplified.

Bathrooms

BATH is a MUST. No plastic showers in never ever.

Rain shower

Big windows, to hook up plants, creating a somewhat tropical ambience.

Chandelier

Plenty of storage. Never want to see ugly clutter

Natural: wood, stone, creamy and woody colors, maybe a bit of color but nothing I can't remove easily.

Romantic ambience, but nothing gaudy. Something that's eternally good taste.

Bedroom

Interesting architectural elements

Organized according to Feng Shui, not too big (I prefer smaller bedrooms) nor cramped. Something cozy, harmonious, just right.

Natural textures, linen curtains herringbone wood HEATED floor, balcony or private patio, and so on.

Connected to a bath near the bed. A MUST. Imagine dipping in warm water right before bed 💕

Multiple mirrors. Just because.

Hot water tap in the joined bathroom. I know it's weird as hell, bit imagine brewing a nighttime tea before bed you know

Might go super romantic, or super dramatic. Don't know yet on that one but changes are cheap.

Living room

I know this is going to be weird... But I want zero projector nor TV in my house whatsoever. I don't need flimed media to be satisfied. Instead, give me books and crafts and I'll be happy 💕 so a living room centered around interacting, reading and other non-screen pastimes seems so nice.

Yet again, wood will have some presence for sure. Floor, details, etc. Moldings are a must.

At least two COZY seatings centered around a fireplace, with a interesting coffee table filled with strange books.

Plenty of blankets and cushions. No discussion.

Big windows giving to nature. The outdoor gardening will be nonexistent as forest will be my garden... Maybe a few blooming bushes there and there but everything stays very natural.

☝🏽👌🏽

• 20th June 2021•

My self-sabotaging trait would probably be my inconsistency.

I have plans scheduled out for the day but it frizzles out on the third day. And I'm not proud of that.

I don't know if I burn out really fast or I'm just not willing to help myself. Like girl, get your priorities straight.