Actually Obsessive - Blog Posts

The thought of him haunts me. The desire to be near him, to be apart of his little friendgroup clouds my brain without my wish. Most of the time my brain can't help but to imagine my current situation in a world where my desires, or atleast a fraction of them are true.

But im still in my reality and the constant realizations hurt a lot. This is the closest I will probably get to romantic love in my life. A painful and overwhelming desire for someone I haven't talked to.

I crave his warmth so bad. He looks like he would be so warm to the touch. Being in his presence sends my heart into overdrive, being able to be in his arms would simply make my mind melt. That's all I could ask for. No thoughts other than his warmth and touch.

The thought of being so close to him in comparison to the whole world, but still never even getting close to him destroys me. He is all I want, I even yearn for the pain that would come with knowing him better, even for cutting myself because Id be constantly reminded he will never feel the same or when he interacts with other girls.

The desire my mind has for him is insane, I yearn for him even when I know he is not that great, that I would only get hurt the closer I get. But my desire only feels to be growing, its suffocating and it drives me mad that I can't do anything about it.

I wish the universe would just bring us together somehow, it wouldn't be that hard, but it's just something I can't orchestrate on my own. I plead for it to do so when seeing lucky times, hoping it would hear.

Does anybody know any simple love spells?

Do I actually like him or do I wish someone would make me feel literally anyhting else else other than sonder, hopelessness , anger, dispear, misery or just emptiness??

I guess we'll never know.

I wish I could just approach him. I wish faith would someone make us cross roads. I wish I knew what he likes in a girl so I could know how to be around him. I wish I could just have an excuse to talk to him, so I could look at his face freely.

Not to be delusional. But I've been writing his name in my pad this 2 days. Yesterday we didn't cross paths, but today we did and he actually looked at me. He didn't just glaze his gaze over me, he took proper looks. Never happened before hihi

To be a yandere's darling sounds like a dream.

If only I had an obsession who I could actually interact with. Who I could actually talk with, get to know them better, become deeply obsessed with them.

I want to lay his head on my chest. I want to comfort and coddle him even when he isn't necessary upset, I just wanna make him feel safe and comforted. I want to make him feel so loved it overwhelms him. Want him to realize that no one could ever love him like I do, be as gentle, make him feel as warm and safe.

The fact that I can never have him. That I will never be even able to be loose acquaintances with him. It hurts so much. It's so unfair. I've never felt the need for someone like I feel the need for him.

I wish there was a way for me to get interact with him. For me to even talk to him once. I have so little knowledge, so little perception of him in actuality, but my mind keeps thinking about him. So it's always just craving more to think about.

I crave him so much. I don't know why. I've never talked him, but im 99% sure he is ur average boy, probs even a red piller, a 'natural' misogynist who won't even see me as a person since I am a woman he most likely won't be attracted to.

But my mind can't let go of him. My brain already hurts me so much, but this is just bullying. Making me feel so much for him. I yearn to just look at him. I barely even have the chance to see him, but I wish to properly look at him for even just 2 minutes.

And again, I feel like such a freak. A creepy stalker. I would not acc go as far as stalking him, but wanting just to look at him feels so awful.

I accidentally said his name when I cut myself. It was like a call, a beg for help. I have never even talked to him, I don't know him. But my mind latched onto the idea of him. I feel quilty for feeling so much for him when he doesn't even know I exist or perceive him as someone more than a passerby.

I think my mind just needs someone to obsess over.

It's so weird feeling that you have a lot of love to give, but feeling as if you have no one to give that specific love to. Yes I have loved ones that that love me, that I keep living for really. But it's no the same.

And at the same time my mind just yearns to have someone to obsess over.

What do I have to do to attract a yandere?? Do I have to summon them with a ritual, bring a sacrifice??

Nothing just me obsessively explaining my theories to my friend after they saw the spider-verse movie

filter: die

Just in case anyone was wondering

Obsession is not cute or romantic

Its dangerous and unhealthy

Its not fun being on either sides

Being obsessed with someone is so physically painful at times and it causes you to lash out and do irrational, unforgiving things

I can't speak for people who have been obsessed over but I imagine it would be an unfortunate uncomfortable thing

Stop using it as a little quirky trait, and if you are going to use it, potray it correctly and do not romanticise it because in no way is it romantic