Adam Raki - Blog Posts

Intuition is mostly irrational, but if I were to believe in that sort of thing, I would describe having a strange feeling about tonight.

I’ll take that as a compliment, however, I think you might’ve phrased that unconventionally..

You’re like.. crazy pretty

Errr the name’s Tonny btw.

-@coke-n-dope

That is very direct. Hello, Tonny

You’re like.. crazy pretty

Errr the name’s Tonny btw.

-@coke-n-dope

That is very direct. Hello, Tonny

Beth was over today. She took this picture while I was reading and said I should post it.

So I am.

The largest known star, UY Scuti, is around 1,700 times the size of our Sun. If you could replace the Sun with UY Scuti, it would extend far beyond the orbit of Jupiter. It is fascinating to think about the scale of space. And yet, UY Scuti is not the most massive star; it’s simply the largest in terms of volume. The actual mass of the star is estimated to be only 30 times that of the Sun, which is relatively small for such a large star.

Also, in case you’re wondering, it’s located in the constellation of Scutum, around 9,500 light years away. So, even if we had the technology to travel at the speed of light, it would take us nearly 10,000 years to get there. That’s about 1,000 lifetimes.

I thought that was interesting.

I don’t think love should have to be a fight.

If it is, maybe it’s not love, it’s just war with different rules.

But I think some things stay even when you stop fighting. Probably not everything, but the important things. Thats how I see this. Maybe one day you feel that you won’t have to fight anymore.

Good evening Nigel,

I was at the National art gallery with Beth this afternoon. I saw Botticelli’s ‘Venus and Mars’ there, it is an absolute study in paradox!. About forces that should collide yet instead settle into something resembling harmony. It reminded me of space in that way. Mars, the god of war, lies unconscious, unarmed, seemingly at peace. Venus, the goddess of love, seems watchful but unaffected, an island of serenity beside him. She has not conquered him. She has not subdued him. And yet, in her presence, he is still.

Many people would assume that love triumphs over war, that beauty tames violence. But I think Botticelli offers something more intricate. Venus does not demand change. She does not impose softness upon Mars. She simply exists, and in doing so, creates the conditions for stillness. Mars, so accustomed to unrest, is given a rare and unfamiliar gift—the absence of conflict. And he does not resist it.

The tension here is not one of struggle, but of transformation. Venus has not altered Mars, she has only revealed what he is capable of being. I imagine this as love at its most potent—not forceful, not possessive, but a quiet invitation to become. There is no battle between them, no need for submission or control. Instead, they are two opposing forces that, for a moment, find equilibrium. Together.

This is the paradox I was speaking of : not that one must destroy the other, but that they can coexist. In Metamorphoses, Ovid describes their relationship as both passionate and volatile, yet Botticelli captures something…subtler. Venus does not try to change Mars, nor does she fear him. She understands him. And understanding, more than any weapon, has the power to disarm.

I remember Beth asking ‘Why does Venus choose Mars? Her husband Vulcan presents as a more fitting counterpart, someone more aligned with her nature’. I answered that, perhaps love is not drawn to reflections of itself, but to contrast. To the possibility of transformation. Venus does not force Mars to lay down his weapons. He does so on his own, because in her presence, he does not need them.

There is power in that, in my opinion. A kind of power that does not shout, does not demand, but simply is. Not dominance, but invitation. Not submission, but balance.

And it reminded me of you.

Well, shit… you’ve really got me here, don’t you? Never thought I’d be sitting here, having someone talk to me about love like that, beautiful. It’s funny though. Mars? Peaceful? Never thought I’d see the day.

An invitation, huh? Not a fight, not a conquest, not a struggle to win someone over. Just... being. That’s a new one for me. Love makes me do some fucking crazy things, but never like that.

If I’m being real, I don’t know if I believe in that kind of love. The kind that just fucking is. Hell, I’m not sure I’ve ever let someone just exist if I really loved them, or that I've ever felt like I can let myself relax that way, or if I even can. I’ve always thought that if you don’t fight and keep fighting to keep what you have, you end up losing everything.

Maybe you’ve got a point, Adam. No one’s ever said anything like that to me before.

I’m glad you thought of me.

Hello, Adam. I saw your blog through Nigels and wanted to say hi. You’re a gorgeous boy, Adam. :)

-Duncan.

Hello, Duncan.

I wasn’t expecting you to message me. Thank you.

I don’t know what to say when people call me that.

You saw my blog through Nigel’s? Are you two friends? Or are you one of his brothers, like Dr. Lecter is?.

Everyone keeps telling me to sell my house. I won’t. No matter what happens. I don’t want to move. I don’t want to leave. I don’t want to lose something else again.

[OOC] Hi!! :D I was curious where you intend Adam’s storyline to go? Or if you have any set plans at all. Will you follow some of the plot of the movie or just entirely do you own thing ?

[OOC] Hey!! 🫶 Yes, I actually do have some plans! At least regarding how I want to incorporate the plot of the movie and the HEU.

Basically, I’d like everything to be similar to the movie. Adam will get to know Beth, meet her parents at the theater, and Beth and Adam will get into an argument but make up—UP UNTIL the part where Adam finds out that Beth lied to him and actually knew her parents were coming to meet him all along.

As we all know, Adam needs a new job after he got fired. Since Adam already has to drive from NYC to Hannibal for his therapy and has now made friends with Abigail, I plan for his new job offer to be close to Baltimore. He’ll start a new life and become more involved in everything going on in Maryland, all while navigating his own life as well.

So, that’s roughly what you can expect, but we never know what might happen!!

Beth and I will head to the Museum in 33 minutes.

I feel nervous.

The winter air is good for stargazing. Less humidity means clearer skies. If you stayed out longer, you might have seen more. Smokers often feel temperature differently because of circulation changes. I wonder if that affects how long you would’ve stayed otherwise.

@parallaxshift-raki stars were pretty last night :)

They are.

I see a few bright ones despite the clouds. It’s interesting how the branches make the sky feel more distant, I think it feels like looking through a telescope with an obstructed view.

Did you recognize any constellations? If not, I can try to help identify them

@parallaxshift-raki stars were pretty last night :)

Hey Adam, I had a pretty good view last night! I was busy during sunset so I couldn't see the seven planets later, but I did see this at least.

You captured Orion’s Belt very clearly, with Alnitam, Alnilak, and Mintaka lined up in the center. Below them is Rigel, one of the brightest stars in the sky.

I also see a faint streak across the middle—possibly a satellite passing through while the picture was taken. And on the right, the Pleiades cluster is visible. It’s an open star cluster about 444 light-years away, meaning the light in your photo has been traveling since the early 1600s. By now, some of the stars you captured may not even exist anymore. Like Dr. Lecter told me ‘some of the stars that appear brightest to us have already died’.

Though, stars don’t ‘die’ the way we do.

They simply vanish.

hello adam, i drew you 🎉

You drew me? That’s interesting. I don’t usually see myself from an outside perspective. I like it!, a lot of people are actually bad at drawing others and capturing their emotions accurately. You seem talented. Thank you for taking the time to do this.

And thank you for all the artwork and insightful questions recently.

Would you like me to add your work to my account Banner as well?.

What is your favourite subject at the planetarium? (If you have one, I like shows about stars the most)

-🦌 (can I use this to sign off? )

Yes, you can! Nobody has used that one before. So far I have seen only #🧩 and #🔭.

I like the shows about stars as well. In fact, I have a monitor in my apartment that projects pictures of the galaxy across the entire room. It helps me feel more connected to everything, even if it’s all just pixels.

But planetary science is probably my favorite. I think the way each planet is so different, but also part of the same system, makes me think about how things connect even if they’re not always obvious or identical to each other.

This is the same anon that asked about nebulous.io,

Errr well i didn’t exactly like much about it because most of my memories playing it as a child is that i was blackmailed by my older sibling into doing so, but i did like the spacy names and skins, though back then as a kid i did infact not know that andromeda was a galaxy and to me it was just that one annoying bot with a funky name that kept eating me

I didn’t really understand that Andromeda was a galaxy at the time either.

As a child, I just thought it was an interesting name. I was more focused on avoiding that bot, actually. I got frustrated after a while.

Looking back, I realize there were a lot of things I didn’t know about, but I think I’ve gotten better at understanding those things now.

I have received questions, but I am unable to answer some of them.

I am not sure why. If you have sent something and do not see a response, it is likely due to a technical issue rather than intentional avoidance.

Have you played the mobile game nebulous.io ? I recommend. I grew up on it

I have played Nebulous.io before.

I liked the concept of absorbing smaller cells to grow larger, though I found the movement mechanics somewhat frustrating at times.

What did you enjoy about it?

Pretty sure this is you

You made me into an alien plushie? That is very creative.

I like it. Thank you for drawing me, I appreciate it.

Tumblr can be confusing.

hi adam :3 opinion on raccoons

My opinion on raccoons? I like them.

They have highly dexterous front paws with five fingers, which allow them to open latches and even solve simple puzzles. Their problem-solving skills are comparable to primates.

I also think that they look cute.

This you?

That’s not me. It’s an alien plushie.

Are you genuinely curious, or is this just a joke?

Do you even skoke?

Do I Skoke ?

You need to dump Beth. She's an asshole.

Beth spends time with me. I don’t always understand her, but I think she means well…

I didn’t ask her because I got nervous about it. I am not good at this stuff.

But she suggested going to the museum together. I think that would be a good idea—to do something she’s interested in.

Although I would much rather go to the planetarium.

I thought of taking Beth to the planetarium sometime, but I’m not sure if she’d like it

(not that) unpopular opinion: neil degrasse tyson is overrated.

popular opinion: elon musk is overrated.

opinion: brian cox is great

fact: the planetary parade is going to happen friday 28th (England time) and it wont happen again until 2040 approx!!!

Unpopular or not, Tyson’s style isn’t for everyone. His focus tends to be on simplifying complex ideas for mass appeal, which can make them feel less substantial when compared to other scientists who delve deeper. I do think he has a knack for bringing attention to space, though.

Musk, on the other hand, I think his overhyped persona doesn’t always match the actual impact of his ventures. There’s a difference between innovative ideas and being celebrated for the spectacle of it all. The focus often seems more on the ‘idea’ of progress rather than actual tangible steps.

Brian Cox, though, I do like. He makes astrophysics easier to grasp without dumbing it down. I really appreciate the clarity he brings.

As for the planetary parade, I’m actually looking forward to it as well !. It’s not every day you get to see such a rare alignment.

I don’t know what feelings it would stir in Will. I have never met him.

But if someone saw a younger version of themselves, would they recognize it as themselves..or as someone else entirely?

It's very weird, having a patient with the same face as my Will.

What's your favourite instrument for observing space? (I mean as in out of all created ones, not just telescopes. Cause there's some pretty developed ones nowadays)

You’re right there are many advanced instruments for observing space, each designed for different purposes. The James Webb Space Telescope is one of the most impressive—it observes infrared light, allowing us to see distant galaxies and exoplanets in ways we never could before. But if I had to pick a favorite, I think the Voyager probes are remarkable. They carry the Golden Record, which is an attempt to communicate with any potential extraterrestrial life, and they are the farthest human-made objects from Earth. The idea that they might one day be found is… fascinating

I have Dr Lecter as my psychiatrist too!

Honestly I think I might ask for a referral to another psychiatrist. He speaks in prose, and I just cannot decode all his metaphors.

He's generally nice though.

I think I understand how you feel. Dr. Lecter does speak in a way that can be difficult to interpret. I ask him to clarify when I don’t understand, but he doesn’t always give a direct answer. He is very intelligent though. If the way he speaks makes things harder for you, then asking for a referral makes sense. The most important thing is having a psychiatrist who helps you the way you need.

Personally, Dr. Lecter and I understand things differently. He isn’t always direct, and I prefer clarity, but he doesn’t mind when I ask him to explain. He listens carefully and helps me notice patterns in my thoughts I hadn’t seen before. Even if I don’t always understand his metaphors, he makes me think in new ways, which is helpful.

Good luck with your therapy!

what’s your opinion on life in space? i personally believe that with so many planets its impossible not to have somehow have life, even if it’s just a single cell being

-🔭

I really quite like the emoji you used!

Statistically, the probability of life existing elsewhere in the universe is high. There are billions of galaxies, each with billions of stars and potentially habitable planets. Even if the conditions for life are rare, the sheer number of possibilities makes it unlikely that Earth is the only place where life has developed. I don’t know if we’ll ever find it, but mathematically, it makes sense that it exists. As for my own opinion; I really hope we get to discover more about possible life in space soon! It is an unrealistic wish but I dream of it nonetheless.