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Aromantic Positivity - Blog Posts

2 years ago

Breaking News!

The CDC has reason to believe a deadly spike in the love epidemic will occur February 14th.

If you are fortunate enough to have not caught the debilitating disease we urge you, lock your doors and windows, turn off all electronic devices, and read absolutely NOTHING categorized as "romance."

If you have not been exposed and you do not follow the advice listed above, you will surely catch a severe case of the Lovebug.

There is a chance a new strain of the virus will make its appearance on this day. Scientists have dubbed it "Heartsickness."

In clinical trials, the unfortunate people to catch this strain were only cured by catching the Lovebug, which doctors agree, is no cure at all.

There is still no known cure for the Lovebug or any of its various strains and scientists urge that extreme social distancing is the best method of avoidance.

Stay safe out there and we wish you all an uneventful 14th.

“getting the lovebug” but in an aromantic horror way


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