@arandomao3user - Blog Posts

Jason is the most impregnate-able Bat because we all know by instinct that he'd rearrange his entire life to take care of his kid.

He's not just a Daddy, he's a Father. He would nurture the fuck outta that kid. He would read all the most accredited books, he'd be active on the parenting blogs, he'd be there at the PTA meetings.

Jason would be that special mix of terrified and excited to help this child grow up. He's the parent that a kid won't be too afraid to call when they've done something really stupid and they need help now. He's the parent who will work so hard during arguments to try to say the right thing.

We can all see Jason "Get Him Pregnant" Todd being such a loving dad at every milestone in his kid's life that we can't help but want to give him that kid.

(This message was sponsored by the supporters of @arandomao3user's campaign to get Jason Todd Pregnant.)

Screaming, cackling, joyous!

There's just something enthralling about these two. Especially Tim serving his malicious compliance response to the "Where were you?". It's peak. He loves his family, he doesn't like when they pry into his business, they have all had many conversations about hiding injuries. Now Tim selectively over shares and it's a power trip.

And just. Yes. Tim's laughing hysterically over his boyfriend accidentally shooting him during their kinky sexy times. That is the most true and appropriate response. I kept imagining them on that "Sex Sent Me to the ER" show, retelling this story and breaking down into giggles again.

...Tim is trans masc by default in my head so when Bernard said he'd get him pregnant... I'm just saying, Tim's dealt with a lot of time travel bs. His birth control could fail. He and Steph could have a very funny role reversal, going to the same Lamaze class she took, deciding that the Dead Robins Club is so last year - the Oops Baby Club is now the fun place to be.

I beg you for more Tim and Bernard being chaotic freaks

*Falls down twenty flights of stairs before pushing myself up* This could mean several things, and I will do each one! >:D

Suggestive content below, minors DNI or whatever.

—

Tim, sick, lying in bed: I'm gonna die.

Bernard, sitting next to him, checking his temperature: No, you're not.

Tim: Bet.

Bernard: Please, don't prove me wrong on this one.

Tim: Uuuuuugh...

Bernard: At least you look sexy when you're sick.

Tim: Do I not always look sexy?

Bernard: Oh, you definitely do, always, look sexy. But, I mean like this, your cheeks and thighs all flushed, and all sweaty and helpless and weak in bed...

Tim: Don't get any ideas.

Bernard: To late, I already have several.

Tim: . . . Are you supposed to have sex, when sick?

Bernard: Is that gonna stop us.

Tim: Hmm.. Nope.

—

(inspired by a short story @donkoogrr made for me :3 )

Jason, picking his phone up at two in the morning: Who the fuck is this?

Bernard: Uh, me, so, like, y'know how I asked to borrow a gun for things you did not wanna know about?

Jason: . . . What did you do?

Tim, laughing hysterically in the background:

Bernard: I shot Tim.

Jason: you diD WHAT!?

Bernard: I DIDN'T KNOW THE SAFETY WAS OFF!

Jason: YOU SHOT MY LITTLE BROTHER!? ACCIDENTALLY!?

Tim: IT WAS HOT!

Bernard: He's a bit hysterical?

Jason: Oh my GOD, WHY ARE YOU CALLING ME!?

Bernard: I SHOULDN'T LEGALLY HAVE A GUN AND ALSO THIS WOULD BE SO HARD TO EXPLAIN TO A 911 OPERATOR!

Tim, laughing harder in the background:

Bernard: I have a compression bandage on him..?

Jason: . . . I am on my way, but I swear if he dies from this I'm gonna throw him in a Lazarus pit only to give him an honorable death.

Jason: Oh, also, I'm telling Dick face about this.

Bernard: . . . F#&$.

Tim: Think we can finish up before he gets here and I bleed out?

Bernard, throwing a pillow at him: TIM!

Tim: I've been shot way worse!

—

Ransom girl, flirting with Tim at a gala despite being told several times he has a boyfriend:

Bernard, walking right up to Tim: It's done.

Tim, playing along: It's done?

Bernard: Yup. She's dead.

Tim: Good, good.

Random girl, watching with great confusion and slight fear as Bernard and Tim share a sweet kiss and walk away together:

*The rumors that the Wayne's are some sort of crime family don't get better after this...*

—

Bruce, after calling for an emergency meeting after a massive rogue breakout: I know this is last minute, but— where's Red Robin?

Tim, riding in on his bike:

Jason: Where the f#&$ were you?

Tim, looking around: Are there children present?

Dick: ??? No, Dami is still changing—

Tim: Good, I want you all to know I'm only half coherent, my brain is still fuzzy, and I'm still recovering from being choked out, carved up, humiliated, and defiled in the best ways possible, and I swear one of you better die to make up for what I'm missing out on tonight.

Dick:

Jason:

Bruce:

Tim: None of you wanna see what I look like under this costume right now.

Damian, walking in: Have I missed something? Oh, Timothy, you are here, finally. What took so long?

Tim: Sorry, was hanging out with Bear, y'know how clingy he is.

Damian: Tt, don't forget about your promise to take me to the zoo this weekend.

Tim: Wouldn't dare.

Dick: My baby brother...

—

Stephanie: . . . So, you and Tim are into some freaky stuff?

Bernard: We did not use olive oil, wooden spoon, or the kitchen for their intended purposes last night.

Stephanie: To scared to ask, but also me and Cass have been thinking of experimenting. Any tips?

Bernard: Several.

—

Bernard: You're mad at Bruce again?

Tim: Yeah, but it isn't that big a d—

Bernard, pulling his phone out: Say less.

Bernard, posting anonymously that he'd be getting Red Robin pregnant, one way or another:

Tim: Now what's that gonna do?

Bernard: Give Bruce a heart attack.

Tim: . . . What?

*Cue that night, Bruce begging Babs to tell him what rogue and or magic user is threatening to get his son pregnant and w h y ? ! *

Babs: Harley Quinn says she'd help plan the baby shower, Poison Ivy asked if they're doing a a gender reveal because she has ideas that were safe for the environment, Cat woman commented that she wanted to be the godmother and is currently fighting Spoiler through text for rights..? Nightwing has stated he's castrating anon, and Red Hood told them to watch out for Batman, he's always looking for new Robin's.

Bruce: I am so confused...

—

Tim, gesturing wildly to an entire wall full of case files and "evidence" while being sleep deprived: I'm connecting the pieces.

Bernard: Love dove, the pieces are not connecting.

Tim: They're connecting...

Bernard: What are you trying to solve exactly?

Tim, blinking slowly: I forgot after my eighteenth cup of coffee, but I'm close!

Bernard: Uh huh... Ready for bed?

Tim, whispering as he sticks a sticky note with a poor drawing of a chicken to the wall: Death before dishonor...

—

Tim: . . . Hey, bear?

Bernard, half awake: Mm?

Tim: I want grilled steak.

Bernard: . . . It's three in the morning, Timboo.

Tim: I know...

Bernard:

Tim:

Bernard, groaning as he gets up:

Tim: I love you.

Bernard: I love you more and this is proof.

—

Bernard: Uh... Tim?

Tim, setting down the twelfth cake: You said to pick up a cake.

Bernard: Yes. A cake. You bought twenty cakes!

Tim: I didn't know what flavor you wanted tonight!

Bernard: So you buy all of them?!

Tim: Except carrot cake! Because you don't like carrot cake.

Bernard: We have... So much cake.

Tim: I also bought brownies—

Bernard: Timothy!?

Tim: They're red velvet..?

—

Bernard: I am staring respectfully.

Tim, changing into his Red Robin uniform: You are not.

Bernard, looking him up and down slowly: So respectfully.

—

High school Bernard: I wear sunglasses so nobody knows where I'm looking.

Darla: . . . Bernard—

Tim, not paying attention as Bernard stares at his biceps:

Bernard: Shh...

Darla: This is not heterosexual behavior.

Bernard: No clue what you're talking about. Hey, Tim?

Tim: Yes, Stephanie is a real person.

Bernard: No, no, not about that.

Tim: No, I don't wanna hear the entire lore of Undertale again. And no, I don't care about your d#&$ size, no, you can't know mine either.

Bernard: . . . I'm gonna kick your a#$.

Tim: I welcome you to try, b#&$%.

Bernard, leaning in: I would have you pinned in seconds.

Tim, dropping his phone onto his desk now: Only if I let you.

Bernard: Would you?

Tim: Would I?

Darla: JUST F#&$ ALREADY!

—

Wanted to write out something not-so-heavy, so I'm gonna borrow @arandomao3user's freaky Tim and Bernard pair.

Kink and Bondage go hand-in-hand, but there's a constant problem in the TimBern household. And it's all Tim's fault. He's a fucking escape artist. He keeps getting out of the ropes, the cuffs, the zip ties, the soft restraints, the chains, the really fancy bondage knots that took forever to actually get him into, the specialty restraints, the straitjacket from that one undercover op that went really weird...

It was cute at first when he could play-tackle Tim back to the bed (or floor or table or counter or chair or deck) for a different sort of game, but at this point it's become a problem for the both of them.

Because Tim genuinely can't stop escaping, even when he's into being tied up. Bernard, with equal amounts of frustration and affection, calls it Tim's Robin Reflex. He does it by habit, by accident, and while asleep, on one memorable occasion. Tim's always very sorry, of course, and he is trying so hard to be good for Bernard. It's just that they haven't found that sweet spot yet, that mystery thing that can keep Tim relatively helpless and at Bernard's mercy, but won't trigger the not-fun sort of sense memories that come with years of vigilante work.

So, at a loss and desperate for ideas, Bernard calls his bff.

Jason, actively falling asleep after patrol: "You want advice... On tying up Timmers? Like, shibari 'n whatever? Fucking. Didn't need this in my life, Burn Notice."

Bernard, entirely too awake: "C'mon, Jason; you're one of the most creative people I know and I'm out of ideas. You used to fight all the time! And you have major connections, my man, my buddy, my bestie. Don't you have any alien tech or magical stuff that might work?"

Jason, so tired: "I can ask around later, you freaky...I don't know. I never tied Tim up when we were fighting; I shot him in the thigh once and that slowed him down."

Hearing nothing but dial-tone, Jason sets his phone aside and promptly falls asleep

Three minutes later, Jason sits up in a cold sweat and scrambles for his phone to text Bernard.

J: DO NOT SHOOT TIM

J: BERN. FUCKING ANSWER ME.

J: ISTG IF ONE OF YOU FUCKERS IS SHOT WHEN I GET OVER THERE I WILL GET YOUR HORNY ASSES NEUTERED