Daily Vlog - Blog Posts

[05.14]

Its been a weird few days, I finished my first semester, with a bang, got myself off of academic probation and rose my gpa to a 2.55, i was initally proud of myself I kept thinking about how I could have done better. today i found out i have to reapply for my job because of my leave and I am suddenly overwhelmed with the sheer amount of clutter that lives in my life. I've been trying to live more intentionally, live with less, but I chronically horde out of fear that my things, my uniquely acquired and curated things will be taken away by my mother who seems to take a sick pride in making me sad.

I woke up at 7 and took a shower, and lied in my bed with just a towel because I had the house to myself. I didn't dry off completely and tuned the fan on to the highest setting because I wanted to feel cold.

I fear I have been making my to-do list too long and overwhelming, so tomorrow I have planned for less, making the list more smaller and manageable makes me more likely to try.

sorry for being weirdly introspective, it's been a confusing few days

what i did today: ate 2 meals wrote 600 words finished everything i never told (lmk if yall want opinions) started reading that was then, this was now wash dishes unpacked 5 boxes organized sewing area organize bookshelf made jello washed hair organized desk talked to a friend

please feel free to reach out, always looking for mutuals

[𝟒.𝟏𝟎]

today I: did laundry took out the trash discussion post drunk 2 bottles of water took Instagram pictures call grandpa and tell him happy birthday

my daily allotted complaining time:

I got a 75 on my exam, I expected a higher grade. I studied, but not nearly as much as I could have, and I am conflicted on my feelings about it. Last semester I failed the class, and this semester I was determined to do better, and I am, but I still struggle with taking test. I've never been good at taking test, in high school I could skate by with good grades because tests were never worth much and even if they were I could always do retakes, but I've been "learning" how to study, and even if I don't get a A in the class anything would be an improvement since last semester.

moral of the story:

today i wanted nothing more but to rot in bed, but I knew I shouldn't, its so easy to slip into a routine of doing only what is mandatory, but I made myself get up, and getting up was just the first stop. take the day one step/ task at a time, and it was relatively slow-moving to start, and I didn't accomplish nearly as much as I wanted to, but I did certainly more than I would have if I had left myself sit in bed all day and mindlessly scroll