I Hate It Here - Blog Posts

Hoes made me so mad i became spiritually connected with the moon and turned to crystals and incense and journalled just to feel something

Why it will never be me

I think one of the hardest relisations is that i will never be anyones favourite. Ive learned to let go of all of my crushes simply because they will always be overwooed by the next girl. It isnt even a case of me being hideous but rather how odd i am. I dont listen to their music, i dont have a alcohol problem ( halfjoke :/) and am more of a “soul crushing devotion” person.

Media is always teaching us to be ourselves and to be authentic but the moment one embodies themselves it falls into categories of pick mes or flat out annoying. Its just awful.

I wish i could be likeable and relatable but everything i do is labeled as weird… i would rather be uninteresting.

VERY unpopular opinion : it's so easy to restrict or too fast when you're busy

I for one was doing math and history/geography stuff for I don't know how long and literally forgot to eat for 3 DAYS 3 FUCKING DAYS

Uhhuhm anyway I lost liek 7 FUCKING POUNDS IN 3 FUCKING DAYS

*Keeps composure cuz she's a lady* uhum

I started seeing titty bone is ghat even a thing like the cell in which the organs are in prisoned (it legit looks like prison bars ) (don't ask how I know)

AND AND GUESS WHAT. I DIDNT LOOSE TITTY FAT WOOOHOOOOOOOO

I HAVE TITTY AND IM SKINNY

YO BITCH IS SLIM THICK AHAHAH

Again I stopped caring about food like 3 months ago and lost approximately 12kg so

in conclusion :keep yo ahh busy ho

Hehe that one nirvana song

I WANNA HIT BEANSS SO BAD

beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans beans

Do u ever starve to the point u feel low-key high?

I try to manipulate myself too

I HATTTTTTTTEEEEEEEEEEEE THE FEELING OF FAT UNDER MY SKIN

Oh to go back to the first day i self hsrmed

Does amybody else have school on saturdays??

I JUST REALIZED IVE BEEN SAED WHEN I WAS A CHILD

THE MEMORY JUST LIKE APPEARED OUT OF THIN AIR OMFG WHERE WAS THIS?!

🎀Why🎀 can't🎀 I🎀 just🎀 be🎀 those 🎀 anorexic🎀 girls🎀 with 🎀my 🎀knees🎀 to🎀 my🎀 chest🎀 next 🎀to🎀 my 🎀bath🎀 tub 🎀making🎀 sad🎀 depressed🎀 tiktoks?? 🎀

HUH TELL ME FUCKING WHY

Hey so chances are that mario is gonna kill someone, let's hope it's not something serious hahaha anyways

When should I make inkrio again 😋 because Idk what to draw, and I'm going insane

Chicken jockey.... Oh wow I've not been hit by a thrown cow today, that's so co- *gets hit by a thrown cow, which was definitely not Tyler in the backrooms*

You want to kiss me ?

The thing that killed Jesus ?

Me and bro on some meta shit you wouldn’t understand

On my communicating with the spirits of deceased excommunicated members of the church era

A cockroach saved my life the other day and I am now convinced that it was Kafka from the other side

What I’ve been up to? Oh you know the usual. Recognising parallels, symbolisms or perhaps euphuisms, deciphering runes, taking in the absurdity of life, analysing old sayings and making my life into a big metaphor in order to cope.

Having a crush is NOT for the weak

Tag yourself down below !

I actually cannot take it anymore lol

My own brain traumatises me

Journaling my realisations about life as if it’s a manifesto that people during the next century will base their political and ethical ideologies on.

Starting to get the feeling that having the urge to listen to the entire preacher’s daughter album after being romantically involved with a man is not normal

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ patrochilles ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

✧ all the stars - kendrick&sza ✧

"I thought of how many nights I had lain awake in this room, loving him in silence."

all the stars are closer i.e. achilles sleeping beside patroclus as the latter lay awake, yearning.

"We were like gods at the dawning of the world, and our joy was so bright we could see nothing else but the other."

the youthful notion that nothing would happen to them, when in fact they were running out of time. the way they were obsessed with each other.

"....they never let you be happy and famous."

corrupt a man's heart with a gift i.e. achilles having enough strength to succumb to pride.

"If you have to go, you know I will go with you."

the fact that both achilles and patroclus didn't care about winning or losing at the end — they simply wanted each other.

"I wish he had let you all die."

"There are no bargains between lions and men. I will kill you and eat you raw."

the way achilles was always uncaring of others, their views, their attitudes, and aware of their lies, their schemes, but the only thing that mattered to him was patroclus.

"I would recognize you in total darkness, were you mute and I deaf. I would recognize you in another lifetime entirely, in different bodies, in different times. And I would love you in all of this, until the very last star in the sky burnt out into oblivion."

"I could recognize him by touch alone, by smell; I would know him blind, by the way his breaths came and his feet struck the earth. I would know him in death, at the end of the world.”

"I am made of memories."

"Go," she says. "He waits for you."

In the darkness, two shadows, reaching through the hopeless, heavy dusk. Their hands meet, and light spills in a flood like a hundred golden urns pouring out of the sun.

enough said.

Quick little thing that happened:

I WROTE SOMETHING OVER 4000 FUCKING WORDS AND JUST TO MAKE SURE I DIDNT LOSE IT I WENT TO COPY IT BUT INSTEAD OF COPYING IT IT DELETED IT. IT GOT DLETED. 4000 WORDS GONE AMD J CANT FUCKING UNDO IT BC MURPHYS LAW DECIDED TO FLIP ME OFF AND SAY “FUCK YOU” I AM GOING TO PUNCH THE WALLSKSVDGEVDVDBDVDVEGEHRGHD-

(Apologies for any misspellings I wrote this right after it happened :3)

Tried to play Sonic adventure 2 today and crashed out. Could not get past the first level with a decent score and now ‘Escape from the city’ is playing in my head while I’m trying to sleep.

Wtf is even the point of living if we’re just gonna die at the end like we’re just suffering and depressed I don’t even know what to do.

Motivation: 0 Happiness: 0

Like I’m just so done I’m just suffering in silence at this point.

Sometimes I regret telling my friend about my tumblr account because I’m probably going to post fan fiction on here and I don’t need him making fun of me for that lol

just found out i’m failing earth science because i missed a test when i had an epic stomach ache

What did I tell you😔

it wasn't even midnight yet 💔