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I can do it with a broken heart is genuinely so depressive episode whilest being in a musical coded, like yeah I’m sparkly and in full glam makeup and singing about getting married , sure I go home and stare at my pills for hours praying for a burst of strength to either take the bottle or to get up and leave, but like this show would fall apart without me doing everything behind the scenes and they can’t replace me this late so really I’m being silly and selfish so I need to get over this already
I made a lengthy list of Taylor Swift songs that fit characters/relationships from bsd, and I wanted to explain deeper about some of the songs listed there :]
I Can Do It With a Broken Heart for Fyolai really fits to me. It's from Nikolai's pov, and I think it describes his character around Fyodor very well
"'Cause I'm a real tough kid, I can handle my shit
They said, "Babe, you gotta fake it till you make it" and I did
Lights, camera, bitch smile, even when you wanna die
He said he'd love me all his life
But that life was too short
Breaking down, I hit the floor
All the pieces of me shattered as the crowd was chanting "More"
I was grinning like I'm winning, I was hitting my marks
'Cause I can do it with a broken heart (one, two, three, four)
I'm so depressed, I act like it's my birthday every day
I'm so obsessed with him but he avoids me like the plague
I cry a lot but I am so productive, it's an art
You know you're good when you can even do it
With a broken heart"
I just can't over how much this fits them. Nikolai hiding everything behind his emotional mask, how one-sided his relationship with Fyodor is, his obsession with Fyodor and his persistence
Ever since I first heard this song way back on April 19th 2024 (my life changed that day 😔), I've thought this was just such a Fyolai-esque song :>