Jiraiblogging - Blog Posts

Me bc my childhood actually DID really affect me and how I feel about men, women and people as a whole

As well as how I veiw myself and people close to me

:(

*posts something*

*posted one second ago*

*no notes*

What the fuck ???

If and when I get some new blades, I wanna add my dearests name and then I want to try some patterns :D

I've seen people do hearts and stars AND a hello kitty thing. I LOVVE HELLO KITTTYYY !!! But I don't think I have that much control (or patience) to carve a whole Hello Kitty face (and Cinamarolls my favorite, so I'd prefer to do him tbh :P)

Sooo ya !!!! When I get some blades, I might do some hearts and show them o(〃＾▽＾〃)o

(ill sob if I don't get some blades soon istg)

I think my friend is looking for this acc (and I think they know it) so actually fuck off dude, I don't want you here :P

Just in case anyone was wondering

Obsession is not cute or romantic

Its dangerous and unhealthy

Its not fun being on either sides

Being obsessed with someone is so physically painful at times and it causes you to lash out and do irrational, unforgiving things

I can't speak for people who have been obsessed over but I imagine it would be an unfortunate uncomfortable thing

Stop using it as a little quirky trait, and if you are going to use it, potray it correctly and do not romanticise it because in no way is it romantic

IM SO HAPPY I ATE ONLY AROUND 500 CALS TODAY !!!

(i would have eaten less but it is so hard to get around eating when in recovery 😭

Im currently at 42-43 kg (it alternates because yk im in recovery so its acc so hard to starve or purge now)

AND I WAS AT 39 KG !!! LIKE TWO AWAY FROM MY UGW BUT HAUFDAUHWHFEF FUCKING THERAPY SNITCHED ON ME >:[

born to be a wrist cutter, forced to be a thigh cutter 💔

Yes looking at pictures of peoples self h4rm makes me feel better

Yes it also makes me feel like shit because I know I don't have enough courage or supplies to actually cut as deep as them

Being so depressed you can’t even cut yourself <<<

When scars and marks start to form >>>>>

Me when my blades are dull so to keep myself sane I have to look at shblr until I can get some new ones 😔💔

"No M, you can't carve the name of all your mutuals and friends onto your body !"

God forbid a boy has hobbies 🙄

Intro :P

-> ☆ Name: M (or anything, give me a name and I'll use it :3)

-> ☆ Age: In between 14-17

-> ☆ Pronouns, sexuality: He/him/ + neopronouns that I'm too scared to share >.<). Bisexual, possibly demi-romantic

-> ☆ Likes: Bungo Stray Dogs, Needy Streamer Overload, Suicide Boy, Sanrio, Sonic, Death Note, Flowers, The rain, cutting

-> ☆ Dislikes: Most people, yelling, animals, eating, when my blades are dull

DNI: I don't think I mind to much who interacts, as long as people don't dm me :P I'm very paranoid about getting weird stuff ＞︿＜ I think anyone under 12 shouldn't be on Tumblr or social media. So, no DNI, I'll just block if I want :P

I'll post things about self h4rm, 3ating disorders, su!cide, or just any of my depressing thoughts or opinions. I'm also a Jirai >:3 So if I act different sometimes, I should be back to normal soon enough :]

I haven't been diagnosed with anything, but I'm semi in the process of getting diagnosed with Autism and SAD (social anxiety disorder). I have asked my therapist if I could have BPD, and he said my symptoms can eventually evolve into BPD :P Trynna get help for it, but idk if its working :/

ANYWAY

Enjoy this blog ^^

needy streamer overload

I bought the game because it was on sale so I don't regret buying it.

and it reminded me of an app called virtual and how you can be a vt-uber and shit. so i said fuck it why not im bored and lonely and might as well be a cute anime girl too.

i redownloaded it

but for fuck sakes its camera is awful at tracking

and im so goddam awful at socializing and i fucking wished it had an app on the pc BUT EVEN IF IT DID MY SHIT INTERNET IS SO GODDAM SLOW AND I CANT DO SHIT JUST LIKE EVERYTHING ELSE

so im stuck here in my room doing nothing but be on my phone and laptop. seeing other people do things i want to do. why cant that be me also. If i can't do shit how am i going to earn money. my anxiety holds me back i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this.

the only friend i have are online but even that is a pain in the ass BECAUSE OF MY SHITTY ASS WIFI THE FUCKING PING IS SO DAMN HIGH SO IM JUST WATCHING THEM HANGOUT WITH EACHOTHER WHILE I JUST STAND BY AND WATCH I CANT EVEN DOWNLOAD FUCKING VALORANT WITHOUT IT TAKING THE WHOLE DAY BITCH ASS CUNT KYS

Lost another friendship. Feeling superb.

I feel like throwing up.

Why is it so hard to maintain friends? Am I doing something wrong? Im tired..

me when my mental illness makes it harder to take care of myself and my hygiene instead of making me look like mizuki or kangel 24/7

jirai media recommendations (feel free 2 suggest more)

some r still ongoing btw

-Young Adult Matters

movie (2021)

tw: sh, substance abuse, bullying, violence, gore, prostitution, death, sa, homelessness, sexual content, abuse, profanity, unwanted pregnancy (prob more im forgetting)

-Tomorrow I’m gonna be someone’s girlfriend

manga (2019-2024) and tv show (2022-2023)

tw: sh, profanity, sexual content, violence, substance abuse (again prob more im forgetting)

-Kairiki Bear

musician

song suggestions: darling dance, bug, failure girl, villain

-Isana

musician

song suggestions: Menhera Janai Mon!, Loved Smoothie

-Sensitive Boy

manga (2022-2024)

tw: sexual themes, sa, sh, violence (prob more i still need 2 read it ngl)

-Sentimental Death Loop

video game (2023)

tw: death, partial nudity, sexual themes, profanity, sh, suicide, violence, gore,

-Needy Streamer Overload

game (2022)

tw: sh, sexual themes, violence, substance abuse, blood, profanity, death, cults, vomiting (prob more that im forgetting)

-Strawberry Painkiller

musician

song suggestions: Bloodsucking Dreams, Grave Skull, Thousand Knives, Sugar Truth, Pharmakeia

-Candye Syrup

musician

song suggestions: idol of death, sweet suicide, C♡S.I.S

-Hookah Haze

game (2024)

tw: death, terminal illness, stalking, substance abuse (its just hookah im pretty sure but still gonna include the warning lmao)

-Magical Girl Site

anime (2018) and manga (2014-2019)

tw: bullying, violence, suicide, abuse, blood (prob more i havent finished it)

feel free 2 suggest more! out of all of these i suggest young adult matters, kairiki bear, nso, and strawberry painkiller the most!

Jirai/Menhera/Girly songs for my mentally ill bitches part 1/2

YouTube

♡Music for the mentally ill♡

If you feel sad at least you have this playlist

Link^^^

Literally same and never stood a chance...

Finally talking to my crush practically everything single day!!! (⺣◡⺣)♡

However, I just so happen to be ugly and annoying so I don’t have a chance <3

Sigh.. the way the world works…