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You’re a Queen When No One is Watching-
Why is it, in the late darkness of night,
When beasts roam my bedroom floor and monsters reach out from beneath my bed,
When everyone sleeps, but for the wild imagination lurking behind my eyes,
When I’m at my loneliest and most vulnerable,
My most wild, euphoric, depressed, inspired and wisest self,
That I am at my most beautiful?
When I decide I will no longer attempt to succumb to sleep’s blissful embrace,
When I enter a room with Alice’s looking glass,
And see the circles beneath my eyes, the gentle curve of my lips, and sharp lines of my once full face,
Why do I look like a goddess of war, the judge of your soul beyond death, the unstoppable, raging force of a true queen...
Why does the real me choose to show herself when there is no one there to see the rawness of being a real human being...
When no one is there to love the part of you that you love yourself.
The you you hide,
To save that last little bit of light from the darkness of others...
Another thing I hate:
When you fuck up and people try to tell you didn’t.
Because I very obviously fucked up.
Like BIG TIME fucked up.
In front of 30+ people.
And they still have the audacity to tell you “you didn’t do bad” or “no one could tell”.
I just want someone to look me in the eye and say “yea, you fucked up. That was absolute shit. But you’re gonna kill it next time. So when you’re done crying, let’s go get waffle cones.”
I just really need some honest, passive aggressive support.
I realised something today. You cannot count on anyone but yourself