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HELPING HAIKYUU BOYS WITH THIER INSECURITIES
#Genre: Fluff, Reverse comfort, slight angst
#Includes: Osamu, Ushijima.
#Warnings: Just going to be talking about body and self image issues/ insecurities.
OSAMU
Osamu had never really cared too much about how he looked until recently. He was busy, too busy some would say. His days were spent taking care of and managing his restaurant which left little to no time to do anything else, including working out or taking care of himself. Now he wasn’t out of shape by any means but the lack of attention to his body had made him become a little…soft. Once hard muscle and toned limbs morphed into softer and rounder curves that were new to him, it was different and he didn’t know if it was a good different.
He found himself stood in front of a mirror shirtless and just observing his body. His hands ran across the expanse of his softer but still firm chest and now slightly rounded belly that was adorned with a layer of fat. He couldn’t help but compare himself to his twin brother. The plethora of shirtless pictures Atsumu posted reminded Osamu of his past or more so past physique and he couldn’t help but think if he’d look like that if he spent more time taking care of himself.
The feeling of you wrapping your arms around him from behind and resting your cheek against his back broke him out of his daze. “Hey… what were you doing?” You asked softy. He softy shook his head,“nothing, don’t worry about it baby” “talk to me Samu I can tell when there’s something wrong”.
He let out a tired sigh while continuing to look at himself “I… I just don’t know if I like..what I see anymore” you scrunched your eyebrows in confusion and as if Osamu could read your mind he continued, “I don’t look the way I used to anymore, I’m not strong and built and I can’t help but compare myself to Tsumu, wouldn’t you rather be with someone like that?”. You let out a laugh of disbelief, “Tsumu…really babe?” “You know what I mean”. You poked your head from behind his back so he could see your face in the mirror, arms still tightly wound around his front.
“Baby…you may not look like how you used to but that isn’t a bad thing. People change and grow everyday and I’d be surprised if you still looked like that” “but-” “ahh let me finish. Firstly, Tsumu looks like that because it’s his job! Secondly, just because you’re now a little softer - which I love- doesn’t mean you aren’t strong, personally I think you’re stronger” you smirk at him which gets you a chuckle. “Theres that smile! I love you Osamu, no matter what you look like and that’s not going to change. But I’ll support you no matter what and if there’s even a tiny part of you that’s insecure because of what I might think then shut that shit down real quick. You’re so fucking hot and sexy, especially like this. Look at this strong chest and these thick arms that make me feel so safe and loved” you say as you run your hands across his chest and up his arms while littering his back with kisses. You feel him slightly shiver under your touch and turn to face you. He brings his face close you yours and brushes your nose with his “thanks baby, that means a lot, a lot more than you think” “I’m just letting you know the truth” you whisper against his lips.
And while Osamu’s insecurities may have not completely left, your words definitely helped.
USHIJIMA
Ushijima wasn’t one to take peoples negative words into account. He brushed of harsh comments and negative criticisms like it was nothing, especially when it came to him and how he portrayed himself. He knows he doesn’t look as welcoming as his other teammates and he was okay with that, looking friendly and happy wasn’t part of his job description so why would he change anything? He walked around with a stoic face accompanied by monotone expressions without a care.
At this point he’s heard it all. He’s been told to ‘smile more’ or had it explained to him that he looks scary and serious all the time. It never occurred to him that he was unapproachable though, what people deemed his ‘scary’ and ‘stoic’ face was just his…face and he was confused about why he should change that, would people like him more? Come up to him more?
However, the one persons opinion he valued was yours. He never wanted you to think he was scary or unapproachable and hoped you didn’t see him that way and for the most part he believed you didn’t. But there was a small part of his brain that convinced him that you believed what the others thought, that he should smile more. With contrasting personalities it wasn’t hard to believe that, while you happily wore a smile on your face, he stuck out like a sore thumb next to you. A part of him thought you deserved someone more like yourself, someone who looked content as they stood by your side but he refused to let that happen. Because no matter how much he believed you deserved better he wanted that better to be him. He doesn’t want to let you go because he does love you and he is happy when he’s with you even if he can’t show it, so if changing the way he acts means being better, then he’ll do it… for you.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” You asked as you glanced up from your phone. Ushijima sat on the opposite end of the couch and wore an expression of…discomfort? You didn’t know it was hard to tell. “Like what?” He got out. “Are you uncomfortable or something? You look like you’re in pain” you chuckled out. You didn’t think your teasing remark would effect him but as you watched his face drop and usual frown return, you thought you may have said the wrong thing. “It’s nothing” he sighed out. “Hey I’m sorry, did I say something wrong? What’s going on love”. You watch as he briefly looks away and then looks at the ground as he mumbles out “I was trying to smile at you”. You squinted your eyes as you drawled out “whyy…?”
“I don’t want you to think that I’m not happy with you because I am and it’s come to my attention that maybe I should start showing you more”
“Who put that idea in your head?” You asked with shock. Since when was your Toshi someone who worried about stuff like this. You didn’t think you gave him any impression that would imply you’re not happy with him or how he acts. You slowly realised that maybe this was a deeper issue than he let on and wanted to reassure him as quickly as possible. You crawled over to his side of the couch and sat in his lap, his hands automatically going to rest on your waist. You gently placed your hands on his cheeks and turned him to meet your eyes “look at me baby. I’ve never thought that, not even once. I don’t need you to smile at me and act happy 24/7 for me to know you like being with me” you say as you move one hand to run through his hair. He softly stokes your sides as he stares intently at you, making sure he doesn’t miss a word. “You wanna know a secret?” You smirk. He briefly nods his head and urges you to continue, “You have tells Mr Wakatoshi, they’re your eyes. I don’t need to see a smile on your face to know you’re happy baby becuse your eyes tell me, and that’s all that matters” you slowly lean in as you whisper your next words “plus I love that I’m the only one that gets to see and experience your rare smiles” and with those words he can’t help himself as he reveals one of those said smiles.
You lean in and place a peck on his lips and lean back, watching as he follows you for more. “Plus I think your ‘serious face’ is hot” you casually mention, He definitely can’t stop the laugh that makes its way out because god does he love you, you always know just what to say. “Yeah? You thinks it’s hot” “Mmh, very” “fuck smiling then” and that get you joining him in his laughter. He quickly realises it was stupid to ever doubt you because of course you’d know he loves you, you know things about him that no one else would be able to figure out in decades.
Note: So this was new ! Never really written anything like this before so hopefully it’s okay.
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