SOBBING HARD - Blog Posts

🫂 i slide u teacher suguru for ur student suguru. 😔😔

there’s been stranger leaps in time and reality while fighting curses. yes, they are vicious, crueler than the harsh reality of knowing that no matter how many he swallows, there’s no end to them. still - the sound of his own voice, coming from somewhere different than his own throat and seeing himself reflected in eyes that were his own but, at the same same, belong to someone else is an unholy union of familiar and strange.

suguru’s mouth runs dry, and when his mouth opens to speak, he’s immediately silenced by the sensation of long limbs and a solid frame cradling him in the narrowed space of a… hug. hands come to a halt, unable to invoke a spirit or ghost. the smell - everything about the man screamed this is me, he is i, and i am what he was and despite it all, suguru leans into the touch, whether by instinct or need.

he doesn’t realize when his hands begin to tremble until the man reassures him that it’s alright, that there’s no reason to be afraid.

fear? that might be it.

suguru is no stranger to the sickening feeling, its taste as he downs it through his throat. smallpox, imaginary scares, local deities; suguru has spend many a night tormented by the musty stench of their power, the memories that belonged to many and none to him. but there’s something about the hollowness that comes with the embrace, like a nightmare that’s suffusing with the first rays of sunlight as morning comes. there’s a wrongness in there, so profound and it seems to reject the man’s presence, so it slithers away through the space between his fingers until it’s all gone at last.

‘ …am i wrong to guess i messed up - or will, at some point? ’ he makes a light-hearted joke. ‘ that won’t happen. or it shouldn’t, as long as you tell me exactly who you are and what made you come here. ’

@trelonkan