This Is What Edging Feels Like To Me. It’s Like I’m Standing On This Precipice And At Any Moment

it all makes sense now

Sucking dick is good for edge sluts

Edging while getting someone off with your mouth is so nice. Knowing you cant cum, but that thick, warm cock in your mouth will and youre gonna be a good girl and drink up.

Giving head like your life depends on it. Moaning and sucking, up and down, wishing that cock was in your cunt instead.

and other times, there’s this 👹

when they're loud as they cum. moaning, groaning, breathing heavily. let me hear that my holes are bringing you pleasure. let me hear that using me feels so good you're gonna shoot your load inside of me or onto my naked body. let me hear you, i beg you.

I want him to tie my legs apart, hold a vibrator on my pussy and then slap my sensitive clit <3

🥵

“I’m so proud of you, baby. Look at my dirty girl getting off by just humping Daddy’s thigh. No, no, no, don’t turn away from me. There is no reason to be embarrassed; keep those gorgeous eyes right on me. That’s my good girl, just like that. Daddy really has turned you into such a dirty little toy, hasn’t he? Just look at you, precious. Completely naked on Daddy’s thigh, rubbing your needy little cunt till you get off.”

3 edges tonight:

The first was at 11:46pm and I was reading through the group scene post where you’re directing people on how to use me. I thought about that same set up but with one of the participants using a vibe on me.

The second was at 12:01am and I was thinking about us at a nightclub. The idea of lusting for you so openly with everybody watching was enough to get me right to the edge. For some reason, I kept thinking about the sensation of your fingers digging into my hips as I pressed myself against you. The third was at 12:09am. All it took was thinking of you whispering “atta girl” in my ear as you flogged me. If you were here, the slightest touch from you would send me over the edge. I’ll be sure to edge again in the morning so I’m absolutely insatiable for you when you arrive. Goodnight sir 🐯

Deny yourself for me, pet. Tonight and in the morning. Maybe more. Whatever it takes so that when I get back home, you are as insatiable for me as I feel for you right now. ❤️

Count your edges. I’ll ask you how many times you’ve edged, and if I like the number, I’ll let you cum.

If not… well, we’ll get you there 😈

I’m still trying to figure out what your “something’s” are. I think I have a few, but I’m sure there are more to find out. I wonder if there will always be more to learn and more to find out. I hope so. Do you know what my “something’s” are?

when someone finds something that really works on you and they go OH. and you can see their brain go ✨ and they do it again and again for the pleasure of watching your desire for them make you short-circuit

it was a bad day

I’m trying something new. My default reaction to unfavorable outcomes is to damage control the bad emotions quickly and put as much distance from the situation as possible. To me, the negative emotions that I may experience are ephemeral, and if I just give myself enough time, they will naturally resolve with minimal effort. I imagine that’s why I have such a difficult time viewing journaling as an effective coping method. It immortalizes a bad experience when all I want to do is forget about it.

With that said, I think there are some valuable things to gain from doing it, so I want to attempt it here. Today was a bad day. Realistically, I think there have been various bad events recently that aggregated to make today feel really shitty.

1) I was rejected from Stanford and Boston University. At no point in this process did I think that I would get accepted to Stanford so I was mostly unfazed by the rejection. Boston University, however, did feel within my reach so getting that email stung a little more.

2) there’s been this relentless feeling of having so many restrictions/limitations on doing the things that I want. Between frequently getting held up at work, the days being shorter, needing to balance my time between friends, family, and my boyfriend, I just get the overwhelming sense that there aren’t enough hours in the day. 3) I feel like I should be improving in so many aspects of my life, but I’m not. I told myself that once I was done with my secondaries, my schedule would just open up and I’d be able to do all the things that I’d set aside in favor of prioritizing medical school. And yet here I am with no secondaries to do but still feeling like I’ve made no measurable progress in certain arenas of my life. (2 and 3 feel related)

4) I continue to struggle with getting my relationship with my sister to a place that I’m happy and comfortable with. Because of that, time devoted to her and my nephew sometimes leave me feeling agitated. This agitation can then extend to my parents. 5) I went in for my annual physical and I got my covid booster and flu shot. The shots in combination wrecked me and left me feeling physically ruined for about 48 hours. After the aches and pains subsided though, I developed a sore throat that has been lingering. Mild enough to not be debilitating but significant enough to annoy me. It’s not the end of the world, but thinking that I may be sick during the Orlando trip is probably upsetting me more than I want to admit. 6) I broke a nail and I got a hole in one of my favorite shoes 😕

All of these things in combination resulted in me reacting poorly to a rather trivial situation this morning. While I was on the phone with my boyfriend during my commute, my mom called to do our morning check in. I answered her and she proceeded to vent some of her frustrations about my sister and her divorce. The conversation was brief and I quickly called my boyfriend back. I had it in my mind that I would tell him the details and he would weigh in on the situation with his opinion. Especially considering that last night we didn’t get a chance to talk about some of the things that I wanted to. But the conversation was steered in a different direction and I found myself frustrated at how asymmetric the conversation felt. At the time, I was simmering in my frustration, unable to redirect the conversation to a place that I was happier with, withdrawing more and more as time went on.

At the time, I blamed the outcome of the conversation on my boyfriend’s personality, citing that his ability to mobilize his thoughts quicker than me allowed for him to dominate a conversation and fill it with endless thoughts of his own choosing. Now I realize that while that may be true, it’s hardly the entire picture. A conversation doesn’t end like that because he can think of more to say in a quicker timeframe. It ends like that because I never make it known to him that I have something that I want to say. No person, not even the love of my life, is responsible for knowing what I want at any given time. It is my responsibility to make what I want known. The difficulty that I have with being able to ask for what I want is a different beast and one that I’ll be saving for a different journaling attempt. But for now, I’m happy to have identified something that needs improvement.

So it was a bad day. But I’m glad that it was because it means that we have work to do. But it also proved that the two of us are in this together to do that work. That is exactly the kind of relationship I want ♥️❤️

There are some things I love about this position

1) I think there’s a vulnerability that comes from you being behind me. I’m limited in the ways that I can touch you which puts you in control and makes me so much more at your mercy

2) you can play with the amount of intimacy that comes from this position based on how much contact you choose to create. Whether you use your lips on my body as the only point of contact or you mold your entire chest to my back while you whisper in my ear, you can vary the position to suit whatever dynamic you want to create.

3) hair pulling 👹

To be loved is to be known. Here’s to spending the rest of my life getting to know you ♥️

i want to know you.

i wanna know what kind of music makes you feel good, what comforts you in the dead of night. i wanna know what side of the bed you sleep on at night. i wanna know your favorite season and why, i wanna know what weather you hate. i wanna know where you feel most at home, with whom you feel most at home with. i wanna know what you did growing up, your hobbies, your interests. i wanna know why you think the way you think, i wanna know how you see the world.

i want to know you so badly.

I wonder if our music lessons will look like this one day. I hope they do