AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Do you ever get the urge to listen to a song but the only thing you can remember is like, two lyrics and you don't have it saved anywhere and can't recall the name?

Yeah, that's happening to me rn. All I can hear is "I'll never forgive him, i'll never forget" and it's this one guy singing and it's sort of like a rock song, idk. I can't remember what the song is and it's driving me insane, literally. Send help.

Update: it's been 10 minutes since I posted this and I found the song. I'm so mad about it, it's called four aces by fish in a bird cage

This is just hilarious

Watching RE7 playthroughs and suddenly got a vision of Ethan not as a BSAA agent but as like a guest lecturer or smtg.

Chris asks Ethan comes in to speak to a class. All the BSAA agents in training are real confused. Ethan comes in looking like a wholeass dad. He’s wearing a pair of square tortoiseshell glasses, a creased button down that he’s tucked tight into khaki shorts with a ton of pockets. He’s carrying a brown briefcase that has seen better days and doesn’t match the brown of his shorts AT ALL.

He kind of stumbles up to the podium. He sets the briefcase down in front of him but doesn’t open it. He leans his hands on the lectern and rocks back and forth on his heels a little. Chris, in the corner of the room, gets a few concerned glances.

Ethan ruffles his hair and pushes his glasses back up his nose. He sniffs. “Alright the first rule to dealing with a situation involving a BOW is to find a weapon—“

He’s interrupted by a student in the front row who says, “Um who are you?”

Another one cuts in. “Yeah why should we listen to you?”

Ethan starts like he’s just remembered he left the stove on. “Sorry sorry I didn’t even introduce myself.” He smiles at them all. “Hi my name is Ethan Winters, I’m a bioweapon—“

Everyone in the class pulls out a gun and one person actually shoots Ethan, hitting him where his heart would be. The class gasps.

“Fuck!” Ethan shouts. Then his shoulder sort of ripples, and kind of spits the bullet out into Ethan’s waiting hand. He looks sheepishly at them all. “Sorry for swearing, that spot’s just been a little tender since Miranda ripped my heart out.”

He couldn’t mean Mother Miranda could he? Rumored to be the true progenitor of all bioweapons? Who enslaved a whole village for over a hundred years? He’s talking about her like she’s his next door neighbor Miranda.

“Oh and Chris knows I’m a bioweapon it’s ok he’s still fine with me being here.” Chris nods his agreement. “Because you see, I’m a rather rare transformed bioweapon. As in, I used to be just as human as all of you, but I came into contact with high concentrations of contaminated material and ended up forcibly changed into a bioweapon by some other BOWs I was fighting.”

The room has gone silent. Everyone’s eyes are wide. They’ve sat back down and stowed their weapons but can’t bring themselves to do anything else but gape at this man.

“Ok so, let’s try something different. How many of you have heard of the Dulvey incident?”

Tons of hands go up. “Ok great, good. So that was me. How about the Romania incident?”

A few shaky hands go up. “Yeah I figured it wouldn’t really be public knowledge but that one was me too. I mean, I’m saying it was me but I don’t mean that I like started the outbreak or caused all the damage.”

Chris lets out an amused questioning noise. Ethan’s head whips around to look at him. “Shut up Chris.”

That, more than anything, convinces the students that this guy is the REAL DEAL.

The lecture goes great, even if some of Ethan’s advice is rather specific. “And if you ever find yourself facing a shadow puzzle, make sure you remember the perspective, some objects will only fit the pattern if you turn them to match the size of the other items around them.”

Or is frankly not recommended. “Wait until right after she’s passed you then run like hell through the door she just exited.”

Or sounds like something only a completely insane person would do. “So she told me I’d never see my daughter again so I flipped her off and said ‘just like you’ll never see yours bitch.’ I thought it was really clever in the moment.”

But overall, they learn a lot, and when their regular lecturer comes back they all start begging him to take another vacation so Ethan can come and teach again. Ethan himself is confused but happy, Chris has never laughed so hard in his life.

New Year, New Comic! I will be drawing every now and then short stories of Alrick, one of the Death-Heads, who fulfill peoples’ wishes for a price. While some cases of Death-Heads need permissions and legal reports, every single Death-Head assigns their own fees. It can be anything - nothing is illegal or too much.

But Alrick does things a bit differently, heading to get a cup of hot cocoa when the case is closed.

[READ NEXT ]

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2nd story (Vanessa)

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7th story (Joon’s niece)

 8th Story (DHD Party)

9th story (Alrick without a mask) 

10th story (Grimm)

 11th story (Primm)

12th story (Primm) 

13th story (Primm) 

 14th story (Primm) 

 15th story (Primm) 

 16th story (Primm) 

 17th story (Primm) 

 18th story (Primm) 

 19th story (Primm)

20th story (Primm)

 21st story (Primm, 1st DHD Anniversary) 

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 23rd story (final Primm) 

 24th story (Antonya) 

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26th (Remy & Kizzie) 

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 28th story (Plague & Cure) 

 29th story (Plague & Cure) 

 30th story (baby Alrick)

31st story (baby Alrick & baby Lou-Lou)

32nd story (Plague & Cure)

33rd HOLIDAY SPECIAL art splash (only on Webtoons)

34th story (Yomi Minerwa, part 1)

35th story (part 2)

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38th story (Ahto and Milla, Dio centric)

39th story (Roosi) 

40th story (Catcallers, Kizzie’s payment)

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I think we should all think more about how space is related to the ocean. Like, it's a sort of connection we all agreed on for no reason and it's great and all but htf did we as a specie do this? Humans are marvellous creatures sometimes

This was brought to you by my brain, after watching yet another cardboard shark video to that one SeptemberXpandora audio

Actually friendly reminder to comment on that fic.

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Tell them “consider this extra kudos <3″

Leave that essay on that old fic

Tell them if you’ve reread it once. Tell them if you’ve reread it 100 times 

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leave that comment. You’ve got nothing to lose but .02 seconds of your time and everything to gain by making an authors day.

Who needs sleep when Ive had 2 large iced coffees and 2 bowls of coffee ice cream... Its all coming together.

Stobotnik doodles~

Territorial.

Do it for HIM but the 'it' is murder.

Stobotniks All three Robotniks thinking 'Wow these people are so weird... Thank god im the normal one.'

The eras

Lovingly married Stobotnik. (Hypothetical S4 Ivo wearing his old Stone-patched jacket like a bathrobe)

Ivo tests if hes still got it. (Easy Mode)

Choose off. Always. Don't you dare come in with them or you'll clean the floor!/j

so I'm Canadian and I grew up ALWAYS taking my shoes off in the house. I watch a lot of American TV though and they almost never take their shoes off in the house, which for years I thought was just for convenience when filming, but I've learned that apparently some people actually do leave their shoes on???

anyway all this to say can you reblog this with where you're from and whether or not you take your shoes off in the house?

Now I want yo read this. But no fics. Help.

So I've been on a reading kick for Elias adopts Baby Jon who has timetraveled from the apocalypse and is an avatar fics, and I am vastly disappointed. Why, you may ask? Because no one has taken advantage of one very obvious fact: Jonah Magnus would 100% be a bitchy PTA Karen parent.

Think about it. He would use the Eye to to know that, actually, Susan did NOT make those cupcakes for the bake sale, she bought them from fucking Waitrose. And she's cheating on her wife with Debra the LLW teacher. So she better tell little Jimmy to back the fuck off his special little eye boi or he will RUIN her reputation.

Like, just for a second, imagine him striding up to a school in his finest Boring Manager (tm) Attire, and the principal thinks it's gonna be a generic meeting. Then this bastard calmly takes off his jacket, folds it over his arm and tells the principal that if Mr Anderson doesn't start providing proper care and facilities for Jon's neurodivergence and knowledge powers, someone might just let slip about that tax fraud you're committing. Oh, and also, your partner is flirting with the mailman as we speak. And then just fucking strides off, Knowing that you will do as he asked cause how the fuck does he know that?!?

The potential guys, I swear.

(Yes in this world he also drives a minivan. It has a giant eye painted on the side. Jon calls it Mystereye Machine)

I desperately need the money, so here’s Money Susie brought back.

Lesson learned today: don't put your jewellery anywhere near the sink :')