Latest Posts by comettingmurder - Page 3
1920s tumblr simulator
🎞 noirsuatoir Follow
Private detectives useless as hell all I do is sit behind a desk dramatically lit in black and white stripes by my half open blinds and smoke cigars. Living the dream
#privatedetective #detectivelife #i have 19 unsolved cases
( 10,552 notes )
🎷 aceofspades Follow
prohibition hitting hard...making some bathtup gin tonight. DM for recipe
🎷aceofspades Follow
hopital
( 65 notes )
🔘 deactivated-341925 Follow
Clara Bow is 20??!!!
🔘 deactivated-341925 Follow
SHE SHOULD BE AT THE SPEAKEASY
( 979 notes )
🎙 fancy-nancyboy Follow
Smuggling some moonshine in my coat oh boy I sure do hope no big scary prohibition officer comes andbpins me and handcuffs me hahha oh nooo that would suck
#wink wink
( 4,208 notes )
🍸 gladragz Follow
my thirsty ass could NEVER be a bootlegger!!!!
( 7 notes )
🚬 runrummer Follow
Anyone else think some of those jc leyendecker drawings are kind of yaoi ....
#those arrow collar advertisments got me feelin smthn #jc leyendecker #jcleyendecker #jcl
( 962 notes )
📻 flapperfanny-fan973 Follow
she speak on my easy till I jazz
( 12 notes )
Thank youuu
@gigglesum @ketchup-will-live-through-this @fall1ngawayfromm3 @lucasartsydudeeee15
❤️🌷SEND THIS TO OTHER BLOGGERS YOU THINK ARE WONDERFUL. KEEP THE GAME GOING 🌷❤️💕
tagging my favs : @ver-lecstappen @ellieisque @adutchlover @lestappen-on-top @starrwrrld @randomwordsonpaper @morecomplicatedthancarbon @sharlsbandana @caprifiles @yappielestappie @chock-and-bates @f1writingbyme
fucked up in the crib playing five nights at freddys at the Jefferson memorial
Watching your best friend interact with their crush who definitely likes them back is sometimes torturous-
I SWEAR I'M GONNA STAB MYSELF IN THE BALLS IF ONE OF Y'ALL DOESN'T MAKE A MOVE
You know shit's bad when your whole state looks like this. We were already having a dry spell, so whenever the winds got crazy, wildfires took over everywhere. Firefighters were even sent in from the neighboring states, and unfortunately, we can't get any aerial support because the winds are still too high. The wind ALSO brought a shit ton of dust. Almost everywhere, visibility was near zero, and breathing this shit in was bound to hurt your lungs. The winds were 70-100+ mph all across the state: trees snapped, trucks flipped, all kinds of damage and debris everywhere. Pretty much anything that wasn't nailed down was flying. People have had to evacuate a lot of places.
I'm lucky enough that myself and my family are alright, the damage at our place wasn't severe, but damn, something had it out for us today-
My friend drew me as a goober- this is what real friendship is-
ways i have tricked people into thinking i am competent:
bought a really nice looking fountain pen
that sounds like a joke but fountain pens are cheap as shit and when you use one people look at you like you’re a fucking wizard
this hero 901 cost me $3 on ebay and i don’t know why people assume that this is a pen for intelligent people but they do
it works better when i am using a nice notebook and not the avengers notebook that makes it look like the hulk is grabbing my sweet pen
i write in code which for some reason leads everyone to assume that i am some kind of da vinci motherfucker, instead of the reality, which is that i am writing about dicks and don’t want anyone to know
it looks like i am constantly taking notes on everything which is both intimidating and inaccurate, just the way i like it
i bought a usb clicker/laser pointer for $11 and now it seems like i’ve got this shit on lock, like i am so pro at giving presentations i even own accessories
holding a clicker makes you seem at least 10% more like you know what you’re talking about i’m pretty sure
i check the weekly freebies on creativemarket every monday so now i have a huge folder of pro-looking website themes and powerpoint templates and fill-in-the-blank resumes (also a lot of autumnal clipart and watercolor flowers and script fonts but that is less relevant)
i bought a ceramic coffee mug at world market years ago and it makes me look like a productive coffee-drinker because no one knows it’s full of hot cocoa
i don’t know why drinking coffee makes you look busy it just does even though i’m pretty sure it statistically reduces productivity
bonus: not only does no one know i’m just drinking Depression Chocolate but they think i am being Environmentally Conscious rather than Poor As Shit
extra bonus: i can take a sip whenever it looks like someone is going to ask a question and then they ask someone else
i almost never have to answer questions and i leave the room a lot because i have to pee constantly so double extra bonus
“That’s a very good question, and one that deserves an in-depth answer, so if you’d like to leave me your card I’d be happy to discuss it with you later one-on-one” aka “how DARE you suggest i waste everyone’s time answering this question right now” aka “lmfao i have no fucking clue what you just said please let me secretly google that okay”
bonus: now it seems like you are a sophisticated grownup who assumes everyone has A Card and if they have to settle for writing their email on a scrap of paper you can feel smug about it even though in your heart you know that you are no better
i’ve got anxiety and poor impulse control and anxiety about my poor impulse control so i generally say jack shit about shit and this constant silence is often misinterpreted as aloof observation
no one knows that my air of mystery is actually a bad case of the shy and i am too shy to correct them so it works out
when i’m on my laptop and i don’t want anyone to notice how much i’m dicking around i turn the brightness way down so they can’t snoop without being obvious
at least one window of notepad++ with some random html page or css stylesheet in it makes randos assume you are some kind of genius doing some genius shit, unless they are CS major randos, in which case i guess find an intimidating looking excel spreadsheet and hope for the best
The world will never know that I had a borderline addiction to animal figurines when I was four
Apparently I won a poetry contest with something I wrote just to check all the boxes of an assignment?
Poetry isn't my usual medium, so I dunno what that's all about, but my English teacher gave me a writer's notebook with an astronaut on the cover and some fancy pens as a congratulations, so I'm happy-
I'm bored, so I'm giving you a whole essay here:
So you're having your everyday life. You go to bed one evening, everything is normal. (Like so normal)(Bear with me im setting the scene). You wake up the next morning, tho and woah, there's a fricken genie glass thingy at the side of your bed! Isn't that insane dude! You open it, and Mr. genie guy comes out, except he's got different rules this time.
Your first wish must be for some sort of ability (supernatural or normal) for yourself. What do you wish for?
For the second wish, you must wish for 1 person/place/thing to be yours. What person/place/thing do you wish for?
And for your final wish, idk, just whatever you really want to wish for (with the normal rules: no wishing for more wishes, no necromancy, and no bewitching anyone to fall in love w/ you).
Ooooo- so fun, great scene setting. Let's see...
Wish number one: I want the ability to manipulate probability. "Oh, what are the odds I get my dream job? Let's make that 100%. Odds I get HRT immediately? 100%, it's gonna happen." If that's too overpowered, I'll go with the basic tranny answer of shapeshifting
Wish number two: Give me all of Elongated Muskrat's money. All of it. I could actually use it for a SHIT TON of good and still have plenty left over to support myself and the people I love for life. Let me do everything that coward won't-
Wish number three: I want a bag that fills with whatever snack I want when I am hungry. I am a very simple man and also the local garbage disposal (if you don't eat it, I will). I have a fast metabolism, so I feel really hungry a lot of the time. I would kill for infinite snacks.
This was actually really fun- good questions, all of them.
Don't forget your zip code map when coming up with fake zip codes! All US zip codes will start with one of these numbers
Remember: the more difficult you make it for them to realize a report is false, the more useless you make the portal.
There is no greater pain than handing a real Polaroid picture to someone before it's done developing, saying "keep it in the dark," and then watching them immediately accidentally bring it into full second-coming-of-Christ sunlight
Me after catching a mouse with my bare hands at the ripe age of 12:
Hand in mouse-bitten hand
If you have ever met a slightly irritable chicken, you would not doubt that they are related to dinosaurs. Those little fuckers want your blood. Don't even get me started on peacocks-
God I hope my best friend never gets mono because I steal that bastard's food so much that I'd get it too.
.....this is about Despicable Me, right?
proof gru was never the problem tonight it feels so good <33
