If You Were At Your Worst, If You’re A Villain Or A Screwup Or Whatever, There Is A Goth Man Dressed

I can see this happening, Bruce at first thinking someone did something to his kids and ready to make an excuse to go be Batman and it's just them being emotionally destroyed by a movie or show

Ok I had this rotting in my mind for days now

Bruce *going live as brucie Wayne because he saw a tweet about him saying he was acting weirdly (it was actually damian shit posting) and paranoid abt his identity he decides to up the brucie effect to 100* : and then he winked at moi! Like, can you believe itttt~

Dick *kicks the door open, bursting into the room full on sobbing* : bruuuceee

Bruce *immediately stops what he was saying and gets up to comfort him* : what's wrong chum?

Tim, steph and duke *run into the room in various levels of crying*

Bruce *actually starts to panic* : kids?

Damian and cass *walk in sniffing* : baba! (Just dami lmao)

Bruce *pale and looks about ready to cry himself* : what's wrong?who was it? Give me names,descriptions, anything-

Jason-youre-not-my-dad-i-dont-live-here-fuck-you-mothefucking-todd *walks in red-faced and barely keeping it together*: dad..

Okay, picture this we've got Bruce pale and sweaty, holding a still sobbing dick and and surrounded by steph,cass,duke and picking damian up all quietly crying and/or sniffing and we've got tim pressing his face to Bruce side, shoulders chaking and then jason of all people starts sniffing and Bruce literally goes even paler (of that's even possibe) and pulls him in

Bruce : What's wrong? Talk to me, sweetheart

Dick : it-it's they- * Starts wailling*

Bruce : they? Who's they? Did you get their names?adresss? Social security number?

Steph : n-no it's not- *hiccups and buries her face on him, you can hear her crying*

Jason :..I don't think I'll ever be the same

Bruce : from what? What is it?

Barbara * Wheeling in, popcorn in hand, eyes red and sniffing:

Bruce : Barbara?

Babs: hey b

*Que lots of sniffing*

Bruce : what's going on?

Babs:Oh, we watched a movie

Bruce: excuse me?

Babs: Yeah, grave of the fireflies, man that was heartbreaking

*higher crying*

Bruce:

The next day

Headlines go like this :

*brucie Wayne secretly just a loving father*

*brucie Wayne threatens whoever hurts his children*

*Wayne children being dependent on their dad no matter how old they get*

Social media similarly is bursting with :

"I love how he was ready to commit murder for them lmaooo"

"Is it just me or did brucie just get 10 times hotter*

"Man, dick grayson crying is something I didn't know I needed, that man is such a pretty crier"

"Damn, I love how tim drake and Stephanie brown just buried themselves in their dad"

"My God I always thought damian wayne was bratty but he's actually really cute?"

*God brucie holding damian, dick and still hugging all his other children is so hot"

"Hold on, isn't jason todd dead?"

(And no, this isn't me projecting. grave of the fireflies did not emotionally destroy me. What?)

Jason finds out the same stalker kid that used to hang off gargoyles to photograph him mid-patrol is the kid that forced his way into the Robin mantle the second he died and he immediately assumes that Tim's been plotting his downfall since he was seven years old and has been waiting for the perfect opportunity to steal his job.

Jason, looking at the footage of Robin!Tim that Talia shows him: that mad bastard... it's a coup. the evil genius has been planning this for half a decade!

Damian, peering over Jason's shoulder at the weedy 13 yr old chasing a murderous Batman around and looking Stressed™ as he does so:

Damian: *slowly looking between Jason and the footage of Tim*

Jason, murmuring: it's a conspiracy...

Damian:

Damian, to Talia: put him back in the pit he needs another round

Damian: What is gay privilege?

Kate: Better sex.

Steph: No accidental kids.

Tim: Date someone your size and double your wardrobe.

Barbara: Being able to listen to really good music together cause of automatic good taste.

Jason: Not being straight.

rb to have a super gay 2023

I don't think Tim would kill the Joker, not even after Joker Junior.

I do, however, think he could manipulate someone else into it and retain the moral high ground, instead. After all, if someone else does it and he doesn't directly tell then to- well that was their decision, and he need not worry.

Tim, to Shiva: yeah but loads of people have defeated The Bat at this point. Just look at the Joker. I mean, Joker's basically unkillable. There's not a single assassin or vigilante or hero that could kill him. He just keeps on living and causing chaos.

Shiva: I cluld

Tim: no, no you really can't. But it's OK! Lots of people can't! It would take only the best to kill Joker. I mean sure, a LoA member might be able to...

Shiva: I will.

Tim, shrugging: whatever! You can do what you want but don't say I didn't warn you...

A week later, Joker's dead and Tim is biting back a grin as Bruce glares at them all.

Bruce: "Alright, who did it?"

Nightwing: you need to face it, B, it wasn't any of us.

Bruce, glaring at Tim: the wounds looked similar to that of a bo staff-

Tim, rolling his eyes: I was busy at Joker's ToD. Besides. I'm the best, but not the only bo staff user in the world. Lady Shiva rivals me as well- could have been her.

Bruce, scowl deepenign: and how exactly do you know Joker's ToD?

Tim points at the screen, wordlessly. The phrase "Time of Death: 22:19" were written in bold.

Bruce grimaced. : and what exactly where you doing? I don't believe you were with us which gives you no alabi-

Tim: I was with Bernard.

Bruce: doing what?

Tim: Bernard.

Steph snorts in response.

Steph: let it go, B. Clearly it wasn't any of us. Maybe some assassin with a grudge took him out- honestly, we should be celebrating!

Jason cheers in the background and starts grabbing the most expensive bottles from Bruce's alcohol collection.

My ideal Batman Timeline

I'm leaving this for reference for any fanfiction I make or post I make. Take it or leave it. Do what you want. I'm just trying to get all of Bruce's Robins in order and some of the DC timeline.

Bruce Wayne leaves at 17 after graduating high school early

Bruce graduates college at 19 with a business degree (Alfred didn’t order him to, but he strongly inclined Bruce to do it)

Bruce trains until he is 22

Bruce Wayne returns to Gotham and becomes Batman at 22

When he is 23 (AKA Year 2) The Long Halloween scandal occurs

By the end of Year 2 Harvey Dent is officially Two-Face

At the beginning of Year 3 Bruce adopts Dick Grayson

During the middle of Year 3, Batman meets Superman for the first time. After an adventure, they become friends

At the end of Year 3 Dick Grayson is properly trained to be Robin

By Year 4, Bruce is officially stuck in a month long entanglement with the Al Ghuls. Bruce and Talia sleep together multiple times throughout this month. By the end of it, Bruce has cut ties with the entire family and they will occasionally feud.

By year 5, the Justice League is formed

During Year 13 of Bruce’s career, Dick turns 18 and has a falling out with Bruce. Dick leaves to become Nightwing and form the Teen Titans

Ages to keep in mind so far

As of Year 3: Bruce Wayne is 24 Dick Grayson is 8 Barbra Gordon is 9

As of Year 13: Bruce Wayne is 34 Dick Grayson is 18 Barbra Gordon is 19 (Barb starts doing Batgirl stuff after 6 months Dick becomes Robin and becomes recognized as a Batfamily member by the end of Year 4)

During the middle of Year 13, Barry Allen dies during Crisis. The Crisis doesn't matter, but now Barry Allen is dead due to stopping a world ending event. Wally West is now The Flash

Year 14, Bruce finds Jason Todd stealing his tires on the anniversary of his parents death. This cracks him up so much that he adopts him (that’s actually canon)

By the middle of Year 14, Jason Todd has been trained to become Robin

By the beginning of Year 16, Joker kills Jason Todd

Ages so far Year 16: Bruce Wayne is 37 Dick Grayson is 21 Barbra Gordon is 22 Jason Todd is 16

Jason Todd is revived by the League of Assassins before he is buried. Bruce Wayne is too frazzled to notice the fake body

Shortly after the death of Jason Todd, Joker shoots Barbra Gordon in the spine, causing her to be paralyzed from the waist down. Since Batman didn’t have a Robin, Batman almost killed the Joker

By the middle of Year 16, Tim Drake recognizes that Bruce is a hop skip and a jump away from killing someone and forces himself into the Batfamily. By the end of Year 16, Tim Drake is officially Robin

Year 19: Jason Todd officially debuts as the Red Hood

By year 22, Damian Wayne is in the picture and Tim Drake becomes Red Robin

By year 24, Jason is accepted back into the Bat Family as he vows not to kill anyone ever again

By year 24 (basically current day):

Bruce Wayne: 45 Dick Grayson: 29 Barbra Gordon: 30 Jason Todd: 24 Tim Drake: 18 Damian Wayne: 14

Got any additions? I'd love to hear!

"You're my son and I will always love and support you," Talia said, surprising her son. (i def got to expand on this fmr ao3 fic)

Talia picked up Damian from school, after showing proof she was his mother without using a weapon. She infomred Bruce of this after she had left the school with him and while he wasn't happy about it, Damian reassured his father he'll protect himself in case anything bad happens with his mother.

Although Talia wasn't there to convince him to join the league of assassins, she took him out for lunch, much to his surprise.

Damian and Talia sat together on the roof top of a random building eating vegetarian burgers.

Talia: This meatless burger isn't bad.

Damian (chewing): Told you. That place does a good job at making vegetarian burgers.

Talia (sincere): I'm so proud of you for sticking to your convictions on not eating meat and found good options like this.

Talia gave Damian a gentle pat on the head before returning to her burger. Damian focused on his feet, steeling himself as he prepared to ask his mother a question he had held in for years.

Damian: Mother... question.

Talia (turning to her son with a smile): Yes?

Damian: Do you see me as weak or inferior?

Talia (confused): Of course not, why would you ever wonder that?

Damian (hesitant): I... don't like killing, I don't eat meat, I like animals more than people. When I was living with you, you wanted me to be a better version of my father and Ra's definitely sees me as inferior. He sent it in a birthday card once.

Talia (rubbing her forehead frustrated): I knew I should've read that card before he sent it out.

Talia placed her burger on her lap and wiped her hands.

Talia: I battled through the same concerns with my father, and for the time you were with us I made the mistake of wanting you to be what Bruce refused to be. I look at those days with regret now and I am sorry for instilling that mindset in your head. As for grandpa, there's a big difference between me dealing with him and you dealing with him. Want to know what it is?

Damian: I'm triracial?

Talia (giggling): Yes, but I'm your momma, all that matters is what I think of you! Not Ra's. That man is a strict, mostly unhinged man with a god complex and while I do love him very much, I wouldn't take what he says to heart, tifl. I like the young man you are... You've never given me a reason to be disappointed in you. He looks down on my son? I will deal with him accordingly and have in the past. I love you because I see that you aren't weak. You're making your own path. When I let Bruce keep you, it wasn't simply to get you away from my father, it was because even though I don't agree with Bruce's no-kill rule, he's a man that can raise you to be a good man. That man may be traumatized, but him and his family are a support system I knew would be right for you.

Damian: Is that why you keep stalking him and trying to get back with him?

Talia: That and I want to get rid of the no-kill rule. I'll admit I'm crazy in love with that man, but do you think if I keep trying he'll change his mind and join the league.

Talia playfully elbowed her son on the arm making him laugh.

Damian: Sorry to tell you, but you'll lose that battle.

Talia shrugged with a smile.

Talia: Then I still have you and he... has you. We love who you are. I will ask you one question though, do you see yourself as weak or inferior?

Damian (shaking his head): No, I can beat Superman if I get the right tools.

Talia: Then you're doing good in life and if Ra's says anything to make you doubt yourself, please go to me.

Damian nodded with a smile.

Talia: I am at a point in my life where I love you far too much to be upset that you make decisions I don't always agree with. My father hurt you, I hurt you, and you never got a say on who you wanted to become. Bruce may not be perfect, but he was the best man to take you in. But Damian, I never want you worry that I think of you as a weak imitation of either of us. Okay?

Damian (nodding with a small smile): Mm... um... mother?

Talia: Yes?

Damian: I... love you. Even when you're a smother mother.

Talia: And I love you more.

Talia planted a kiss on her son's cheek, and Damian leaned his head against her shoulder, bringing a smile to her face. She might be a villain, but her love for her son was unwavering; she would never do him any harm.

Joker would 100% do it for the vine

if jason todd were to start going round with a petition to make batman kill the joker i think he would have all of gotham on board within three days, and i also believe theres a 99% chance the joker would sign this petition himself, just to see how batman responds

jason: technically this isn't murder it's assisted suicide

bruce: what the fuck is happening right now why are you two together

jason: morbid curiosity

joker: just wanted to see what you'd do

I bet the JL has a “how fucked are we” metric that’s literally just how many of Bruce’s kids are there.

Like if he pulls up to the alien invasion or whatever with just Robin, then everything’s fine. More than fine, actually, because Bruce feels comfortable enough to bring his eight year old along for the ride. This battle will take approximately fifteen minutes and they’ll all get shawarma after. Not fucked in the slightest.

But if Red Robin shows up too… hmm, okay, this is getting somewhat serious. Tim is one of Bruce’s most trusted partners; he’s the smart Robin, the tactician, the loyal one, and so if Batman brought him along then it means he’s at least a little bit worried about shit hitting the fan and wants one his advisors around. But the combined brain power of Bruce and Tim is pretty much unmatched (DC plot armor for the win), so everything will be fine, basically. Superman might take a hit, but everything’s going to be fine. Just keep calm and you’ll all make it home in time to Door Dash some Panda Express before it closes. So not that fucked.

It starts to get serious after that. When Signal and Spoiler roll up the scene, shit has definitely hit the fan. Batman’s worried enough to call in reinforcements and he’s probably doubting the League’s ability to listen/obey his orders, so he needs a backup plan in case things go really south. But with Signal’s abilities and Steph’s superpower of turning anything into a joke, chances are you’ll be okay. Maybe impaled or something, but okay. But still, fucked.

When Nightwing shows, the JL knows it’s starting to get dicey out on the field. See, Nightwing’s got his own team, his own issues—the fact that he set that all aside to help out his dad is cause for concern. On a scale from 1-10, they are at a 7. Above moderately fucked.

And… oh God. Black Bat? Most of the time the JL doesn’t even see her, but once she makes herself known and starts fighting alongside her siblings, they all start to silently freak out. Black Bat is a fucking machine and if she’s breaking a sweat trying to fight the Big Bad, things are definitely not going to go well. They start praying that Batman figures something out. They freak out. They are intrinsically fucked.

But God Forbid you catch sight of the Red Hood. The prodigal son is a legitimate killer, and if Batman’s letting him blow out brains then the JL knows he’s desperate. And a desperate Batman is not good. At all. They are definitely fucked.

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