Lily, Walking Into Potions Looking Disheveled: Sorry I’m Late Professer, I Was Doing… Stuff

Sirius: I am an expert at identifying birds. 

Remus: Okay, what about those ones flying over there? 

Sirius: Yeah, they're all birds.

Remus: 

Remus: That one’s an airplane dumbass

save me fictional lesbians save me (they in fact won't save me) (they will probably make things worse) (they wil literally break my heart forever and leave me pick up the pieces for the rest of my life)

tbh the only taylor swift song that isn’t marauders coded is 22

sirius and dorcas are hogwarts's smart + hot duo. everyones confused as to why tf theyre dating those sad soggy losers (remus and marlene)

DORLENE HEADCANNONS PLEASE

YESS HERE WE GO

• Marlene fell first and wasn't very subtle about her crush so obviously Dorcas knew it all along but found Marlene's behaviour cute and endearing so she said nothing

• Dorcas has a lot of rings and Marlene is completely obsessed about them

• Marlene actually confessed accidentally and was very stressed about it so she was just talking and talking and Dorcas cut her off by kissing her

• Dorcas introduced Marlene to the skittles and they immediately love her (even tho Barty loves to tease her and say the most horrific things just to see Marlene looking at Dorcas with wide eyes asking her if he's joking or not)

• they paint their nails together

• they also love to flirt during quidditch games

• they love to flirt all the time in fact

• Marlene loves to braid Dorcas' hair (she loves Dorcas' hair in general)

• they share all of their jewellery

• Marlene loves to call Dorcas 'Cassie' and Dorcas loves to call Marlene "Lenie" (to have their own nicknames instead of using Cas and Marls)

• they can both be very scary if they hear you saying something bad about their girlfriend

okay that's all i could think about for now, anyone feel free to add if you have more ideas ! :)

Head boy James having to punish kids for going to the party that he definitely did not plan

Why do people give my wife (aka Lily Evans) zero personality? Like, yeah she was a goody two shoes, but not JUST that. She called James a “arrogant toe rag” and Snape “Snivillous” to spite him, so she was not short of insults. Also she faced voldemort THREE times before she died, and that’s JUST the canon stuff.

Plus she’s friends with (or dating, depending on what you ship) MARY MACDONALD. You know she HAD to be cool.

I’m so tired of Lily saying something funny, snarky, or smart in headcanons and fanfics and people in the comments saying things like “that’s more something blah-blah-blah would say”

Like SHUT UP!!! Lily is a QUEEN. Stop narrowing her down to just ONE of her traits- being a prefect who follows the rules more often than not. I’m not saying she doesn’t- but she has WAY better traits than just that.

And I’m not saying she had zero flaws. She did, but it’s ok. Don’t make her perfect. But don’t villainize her. You forgive the skittles for being death eaters, Sirius for the prank, but not Lily for being a little angry in someone’s fic?

I’d hate to be in the room below the marauders.

Imagine it’s 2 am and Sirius just fell through the ceiling covered head to toe in glitter. Or it’s 5 am James is waking up early to go on a run, but you swear you heard hooves.

I need more scenes of Sirius coming out to Effie and Effie being so chill about it. Please, they heal my fragile gay heart.

James: Plants have feelings too?! What is this? Now I can't have food! 

Lily: You can eat a rock. 

Sirius: Air. 

Remus: The fabric of time and space. 

Marlene: Chugging a bottle of bleach can solve all your problems. 

James: You guys are not helpful.