Marlene: How The Did You Crash My Car?! 

Harry: Which is correct, seven and five IS thirteen, or seven and five ARE thirteen? 

Remus: Neither. 

Remus: Because it's twelve dumbass child

Sirius: rEMUS WE TALKED ABOUT THIS

Harry: Do you have a pink ribbon?

Remus: Why the fuck would I have a pink ribbon?

Sirius: Do you want light pink or magenta or sparkly or polka dot I got ‘em all

Sirius: I am an expert at identifying birds. 

Remus: Okay, what about those ones flying over there? 

Sirius: Yeah, they're all birds.

Remus: 

Remus: That one’s an airplane dumbass

yesss also the hand that feeds is AMAZING

i NEED a dorlene fanfiction full of feelings and emotions and love PLEASE and thank you

art by cutegirlsart, likeafunerall, corwnvus, and vynaura

James: Lily, can I ask you a question?

Lily: You just did.

James: Okay, can I ask you two questions?

Lily: You just did.

James, frustrated: OKAY, CAN I ASK YOU FOUR QUESTIONS?!

Lily: You just did.

James: When?!

Lily: Just now.

James: Yum, thanks! Kidnapper: puts more tape over their mouth I said stop eating it.

sirius and dorcas are hogwarts's smart + hot duo. everyones confused as to why tf theyre dating those sad soggy losers (remus and marlene)

dude the only picture on my camera roll from april 29 is a random truck i saw that said RAB on it-

“Do you wanna where I was April 29?”

Thinking about gay dead wizards ykyk

guys its ok, he's going through his midlife crisis 🤭

11 years old James: I drink to forget, but I always remember

Fleamont: You're drinking apple juice buddy